And this is the concert I went to last Sunday:

He was totally on my "Concert Bucket List". Such a great show. One of the best times I've had this summer.

The big wedding

So, here's the rest of my awesome weekend last weekend. Saturday was VonBro(the elder)'s wedding. He married WW, who is a super awesome woman. From Hong Kong. This meant not your typical wedding, uh-uh, no way, not even close bub. The parts I didn't participate in: VonBro had to go to China Town to WW's house and perform feats of loyalty and strength to get to see his bride. I hear there was running, wasabi ice cubes, bribery - VB had a $1,000 bill that he offered to the bridesmaids, to no avail. The final offer was leaving the ladies the limo to take to the church. I hear it worked. Day after wedding dim sum (or however you spell it) the day after. I was somewhere else. I'll tell you where later. Whole roasted pig. Um, bleh. . I was second reader in the Catholic mass. It didn't help that for the three days leading up to the wedding the only practicing I did was "Love is patient! Love is kiiiindddd!" said in a loud, horrifying southern mans voice. God only knows where I got this idea in my head. But it made me laugh. First reader was eldest nephew, who has *ahem* an effeminate way about him. And oh-sweet-Jesus, he's an uptalker. His reading went something like this "A REEEEding from the Boook of Genissssssisss? And GOd? He said to Adaaaaaam?" Ok, at least I could not possibly do worse than he did. I did get reprimanded for not bowing or some shit before I went up to read. Um, really? As a lapsed Catholic who really does not believe in Mass, you're lucky I even knew where to go to do my reading. The church part was ok, but anytime the Catholics want to spend some $$ and get some a/c in the churches, that would be good. It wasn't too bad, but lining up for pictures was hot. We took many many many family pictures. This is a little rough, considering there are seven of us kids, five have spouses, four have kids, that's a LOT of people to corral. Best part of church, my poor skinny little VonDad made it through without fainting, so that's good. Most interesting part of church - I cried like a sissy pretty much the whole time. WTF. Either I was more tired than I thought, or I'm ready for a boyfriend or something. It was weird. I usually confine my crying to the privacy of my own home. Blubbering mess I was. Went from north side Chicago church to China Town recepti0n, which is south Loop, point being TOTALLY FAR AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. VonSis and I hauled ass as we had some reception prep to do. Namely, the god-damned cupcake monstrosity. Long story short, there was a VonMom vision that involved miniature and regular sized cupcakes, one ginormous cupcake that VonSis and I were tasked with making happen. The making happen part involved a Styrofoam ball and tooth picks. We were supposed to make this orb look like a big pretty flower with mini cupcakes. Cupcakes are no strangers to gravity. Put a cupcake on, move on to the next one, blop, there goes the one you just put on. We were short on both time and cupcakes, so the situation just got worse and worse. VonSis and I were laughing to the point of crying. VonSis was also crying kinda because she did not want anyone to know that she had anything to do with this. "This is horrible" "hahhaaahahahaaa" wipes eyes "I hate this. I hate butter cream" "Hey! I watch Food Network Challenge!! If they can make a working roller coaster out of sugar and chocolate, we can make an orb of mini cupcakes look like a flower!!" "ahahaaaahahaaaa" holds sides, doubles over, nearly pees on self "Back to work!" Not going to lie, it was pretty bad. Ugly, even. It looked like a 1976 Tournament of Roses parade float on acid. But it was soooo funny to work on!! WW had no less than four dresses at the reception. She looked lovely. She had an American white wedding dress, a red and gold Chinese pants suit, a grey (gorgeous!!!!) American evening gown, and a red and gold super awesome Chinese dress. So very cool. Every time she left the room, I was excited to see what she was wearing when she came back. That part of it was very cool. The menu It was a gigantic Chinese menu. I'll try to remember all that we ate: Cold pork platter - I didn't eat this. I ate a little of the jelly fish garnish that was on it. Crab claw stuffed with crab and lobster - um, yes please!! So so so good Shark fin soup - I ate this. Even though Shannon called the consistency viscous Shrimp and scallops - so so so so good! Crispy skin chicken - good, but could have done without the head being on the platter Beef and Chinese vegetables - meh. Ok, not great Lobster with garlic - so so so so good. No one else really ate it at our table. Shannon and I went to town. Yin Yang fried rice - I was full, I didn't eat it Noodles with mushrooms - again, full, didn't eat it Mango and coconut flan type thing - full, didn't eat it Dessert - um, i hear it's hot bean soup, with beans that have soaked in sugar for a long time. bleh. no thanks and there's one or two other dishes I can't remember. A huge huge meal, and way better than I thought it was going to be! Dancing, cake cutting, etc etc. Me trying to get 16 year old nephew to drink with me. Didn't go so well. I tried. I'm the cool aunt. Cried some more during the first dance and cake cutting and such. Again, wtf? Was forced to the dance floor for the bouquet toss. Oh, hell no. Was the tallest girl in the group - Damn Asians!!! I lined them all up in front of me as a defensive tactic. All the sudden I hear "Go Von!" and I look over, there's VonMom and VonSis sitting with their fingers crossed. I daintily gave them the finger. Defense worked, no bouquet for me. Many Grey Goose vodka & tonics later, I was ready to go. Overall, a good time. I forget that sometimes it can be fun to be with my crazy, huge family.

But then

I was going to give you the VonBro wedding recap, but my work day turned to major scheize. So You'll have to wait another day. Spend your free time cursing really stupid people for me, would ya? Thanks

Back to the Brau Haus

Friday night found me hanging out at the BrauHaus. We were there to celebrate TheMarty's birthday. Funny thing, BrauHaus is the first place I met TheMarty. I was sooo much nicer that time!! Dinner was at 8:00, a little late for dinner, I thought, but that's ok. It gave me time to take a quick Friday afternoon nap. Got to the restaurant first - what a shock. Table was set for way more people than I had thought would be there. People trickled in, and by 8:45 we were ready to order. I had me some yummy Thuringer and some spaetzle. I guess a lot of people ordered that, from the looks of things. There was much drinking. I actually had planned to not drink, due to StepBro's wedding the next day, but when it became clear that the bill was going to be split evenly, I ordered a beer. Here's the thing. Generally, when I am with really good friends, OR if I am with a larger group and we are all drinking about the same, I don't mind splitting the bill. However When there's a dozen people I don't know and/or these people are all drinking liters upon liters upon liters of beer, and I'm having Sprite, how it is even possible to have the cajones to ask me to split the bill?? I wtf that in a big way. But It was TheMarty's birthday, so I shelled out quite a bit of cash for my pop and hot dogs. **I don't want to say how much, as TheMarty reads my blog** I kinda let it roll off me then, but I'm still a little miffed about it. I planned for the evening, I didn't go into it with $3 in my wallet and some lint. But still. A fun evening. I got to be catty/bitchy to one of Shannon's friends who deserved it. I tried to talk to one guy. Turns out I'm not allowed to talk to that guy. Um, ok. So Good restaurant, good food, I hope TheMarty had a nice time. Movin' on.

Going back to go forward

My weekend was so fantastic, that I think I can make a week's worth of posts about it. But. I have to start with my Friday afternoon. SO I had a summer day Friday, which is supposed to mean NO work. Out of the goodness of my little heart, I logged on mid-morning to get some things done for LB1 (Chicago boss) and LB2 (LA Boss). LB2 was on vacation, and she had something big going on, so I wanted to help out with that. Well, one thing led to another, and I started doing all kinds of things. I got annoyed with both myself and my co-workers. So, not only did I log out, but I left the house to get work out of my mind. After running some errands, I decided to stop by my last place of employment. Um What a hovel. They have moved three doors down from the last location that I worked in. The new space was tiny, with only one office, a closet of a lunch room, a small "conference room" and one bathroom. Ick. The conference room had my old desk in it, but now it was covered with ashes and loaded down with crap, and ashtrays (I mean, is it 1976? that people can smoke in the workplace?), and more crap. I walked around they very small warehouse, and noticed how bare the shelves were. Part numbers started getting my attention. It's been just over three years, but I can see what problems the have, and the dark hole they seem to be headed into. I went into the office to visit my old co-worker J. There was a memorial poem and mass card on the wall for our co-worker who had been murdered by her husband in the last year that I was with the company. I had (almost) forgotten about her, and her sad fate. There were also cards that J had kept after the death of her boyfriend, who was another co-worker and friend who had died suddenly while in traveling for work. This also happened in my last year at that job. I was reminded how sad we all were, losing two co-workers and friends within six months of each other. I was reminded how I myself used to smoke like a chimney - yes, sometimes at my desk - at that job. Especially when I worked 12 hour days in the summer and the winter. I was reminded that I was miserable and feeling trapped and knowing I was in no way living up to my best potential there. I stayed for about 45 minutes, in which a few people let me know that even now, my old boss P would love to have me back, and in fact says that every now and then. I let J know that by no means could that company afford me. Sure, that job let me wear shorts in the summer and sweatpants in the winter. True, it was a seven minute drive from my house. I do, though, miss the people there. When you work somewhere for 10 years with pretty much the same core people, you come to care about them. We weathered tragedies, our company being sold, then bought, then sold and bought again, successes, failures, crazy people, great people........I do miss them. These are the only good things I think of that place. I said my good byes and got in my car. I looked around the nasty dirty little industrial park that I called second home for 10 years, 4 months and a few days. I wondered how we ever ate out lunch, where did we go? Did we just order in? There's nothing over there! As I drove away, I called LB1, who was at home. "Hello?" "LB1?" "Yeah?" "I just have to thank you for hiring me away from that shit hole three years ago. Like really. Like thank you thank you thank you." "?" "I mean, I'm so much better than that place!" "?" Sometimes to know how much we've changed, we need to revisit where we had been.

Swell season - Into the mystic - a fantastic show

So, last night was hot. Super hot. Like sitting in the pavilion at Ravinia, just sitting, and sweat was just running down me.

But

My goodness. Swell Season. I adore them, have for a long time, but I got so much more than I was expecting.

Glen was very cutely mis-pronouncing Cicadas, he called them "Cicasias". He knew it was wrong, but he just ran with it.

They sang the above, which is one of my favorite songs ever.

At the end of the first part (pre-encore, I guess), Glen called out the ushers. He asked that they let the lawn-sitting folks come into the pavilion. He was pretty adamant about it. So, even though it was very likely a fire hazard, it happened. Now, we were pavilion folk, and even I was happy and impressed that that happened. What a great experience for those people. Good for him.

So, aside from the Ravinia usual suspects (= entitled, snobby, asshole, ill-behaved suburbanites) I had a lovely time.

** for those of you unfamiliar with Ravinia - it's an outdoor festival grounds in Highland Park, IL. They have a small pavilion with assigned seats, and a gigantic massive lawn for seating and listening. There are speakers everywhere, and rumor has it the pavilion is accoustically perfect. It's really beautiful, filled with trees and flowers and art and fountains. There are a couple high end restaurants, and a few food courts. Most people bring picnic dinners and wine. Lots and lots of wine. Google it - it's a beautiful place.

Folk and Roots Wrap up!

Ah, Folk and Roots, how I love thee. Like, a LOT. Like way more than pretty much anything else I do every summer. Things I hated about F&R:

• Only three friends visited me. Y'all are lame.
• PBR. Bleh. Even free, it's bleh.
• Rain is good, but not when it cancels the last band Sunday night!
• A little too hot. Like sweat under my boobs hot. Bleh.
• The stupid vol who dared to call me a bitch, but then ran away like a scared little school girl. Bitch, I've got your number. And please note that the volunteer coordinator heard you, and you're kinda in trouble. Stupid.
• The lingerers. Like the silly brunette: when your shift was over at 6:00, and you are standing around at 8:30, looking for someone to talk to, and no one wants to talk to you - GO HOME
• The GuitarDuo. Way too mellow for a festival.
• Double wide strollers. Hate you. Hate the people that buy them, and sometimes the children that are in them.
• On the same strain - drunk parents and wayward kids. Last I checked festival grounds do NOT equal free babysitting by perfect strangers.
• Receiving three pitchers of red wine that we thought/hoped was sangria. Alas, it wasn't.

Things I loved about F&R:

• Can I say pretty much everything else? Kinda want to. I really love this fest. I'll try to elaborate.
• The backstage magic. These people run a very large, awesome, tight ship. You'd think it was easy breezy to do this music fest thing, with the way they've got it DOWN.
• The appreciation. I'm not a appreciation-seeking-whore. I'm there because Old Town is my super happy place, and the fest is a part of that. No less than a handful of staff thanked me each night as I dragged my tired ass out of there.
• The spontaneous concert/jam session that happened backstage after the Sunday night show got cancelled due to lightning. I am so very very lucky to have been around for that. It just personifies, to me, what Old Town is all about.
• All of the people I worked with this year. (Except that whole "bitch" thing). I'm lucky to get the roles that I ask for, and it's easy to work hard for/with a bunch of folks that I consider friends. I want to buy drinks for TH, KO, DJ, CM, AB, SJ, JK. I'll have to put that on my to-do list.
• The t-shirts this year. Oh.my. You need to see this. I'll post a picture of it soon. Y'all are going to be jealous! (Except ZRM, because I got him one)
• Ok, even the rain on Sunday (before the lightning - shakes fist at lightning). It was cooling and kinda fun, for a while. Nothing like running around in the rain in the middle of summer.
• The mood and/or vibe. You just can't beat it.

How much you ask?

In an effort to have a good follow up to yesterday's blog, I asked VonHairdresser: "About how much of my hair are you cutting out?" She thought about it for a minute, continued sawing away. "It's about 1/3 to 1/2." "I'm sorry, what?!!?" "1/3 to 1/2. Of your hair. Gone. You asked a question, I answered it." There you have it. 1/3 to 1/2 of my hair. Gone. *lone tear....tracks down my cheek.....I miss my hair....*

The thinning....

No, not my body, much to VonMom's very vocal and unpleasant disappointment. The thinning of the hair happens tonight. And I can't wait. Here's the thing. I've got H A I R. Not super long, not even very thick, it's just a LOT of hair. I keep it well, it's my very best asset. It's blonde (expensively and falsely so) with rock n' roll dark brown (also falsely so) underneath (this is a recent change). It's longish - a little past my shoulders these days. It's wavy enough that people comment on it, and in these humid days, more so than not. AND IT'S FREAKIN' HOT See, I'm like a dog. No kidding - I have so much hair that my head can't breathe and I sometimes get sores. On.my.head. So, every summer my hairdresser thins the hell out of it. It's an ugly, ugly process. She takes thinning shears to my scalp and just cuts and cuts and cuts. It's kinda funny, in that the first few weeks if you were so inclined you could have me flip my head over and from the neck to about half way up you could see little lines of crew cut. There is a horrible crunching sound as she cuts and cuts and cuts, followed by masses and masses of hair falling all around me on the floor. This process has even gotten unsolicited comments from other salon goers. One woman actually yelled at me. She said "What are you doing?! Are you insane!? People would kill for hair like yours!" Ever since that cobag incident, we now do this at the last appointment of the day, when we are pretty much the only people left in the shop. This needs no audience. When I was younger, we used to have to wash our hair in a laundry tub. One summer, I told my parents that the water temperature actually went up between when it hits my head and when it rinses out. VonDad didn't believe me, so he followed me into the laundry room when I washed my hair. I had him feel the water as it came out of the hosething, and then feel it after it had run over my head. "Holy shit." he said, "There really is a difference." This is how hot my head gets. So, don't mind me as I count down the hours and minutes until thinning time.

Home, home again

I'm back. Those few days in Michigan were too few. I look forward to this trip every year. I took a moment this year and did the math. I've been to Shannon's mom's place in Michigan every year for the the 4th of July for the past seven years. While we forget how much we change over time, when you take a second to think about it, we really do. I'm fairly certain that that first summer I was invited was because I had called off my wedding in January of 2003, and no one, Shannon included, quite knew what to do with me. Take her to Michigan - I'm guessing that's what Shannon thought. It worked. It was exactly what I needed that year, and every year after. I headed up to the snowman room to find that this year SM (Shannon's mom, get it?) has hung very dark burgundy shades because she remembered that last year I was up early every day because it gets so bright in there in the mornings. Who remembers that stuff? Who bothers with anything I say? This year, day one, I slept until 11am. Why? Because there were delightful burgundy shades to block out the sun. The new boat is awesome, there are many convenient cup holders and these reclined things that make each bench a lounge chair. The company, as always, amazing. Shannon and TheMarty are so easy to be on vacation with. I want to read/sleep/sit/stand/ignore/snack whatever....they leave me to it. TheMarty won at Uno on night two. I told him to sleep with one eye open. I think he did. When I walked by their door at 4am headed to the bathroom, I had to let out an evil giggle *hehehe*, just because. I only wish we could have been there another day or two. Or five. Things accomplished on this year's trip: The Sunrise Sampler is really the best value at Cracker Barrel, or so Shannon tells us. Every time we go to Cracker Barrel. Toy Story 3 was even better the second time around. But blue slurpees immediately following Cracker Barrel breakfast is a baaaad idea. TheMarty and I have nearly nearly gotten Shannon to agree to go to Boston in October. Not sure if we're invited there yet, but we think we're going. And there's talk of us renting a RV to get there. Woo hoo!! The fronts of my legs are tan-ish. and a little burnt-ish. So is my scalp, and my ears. I came back on night three and clobbered them all at Uno. I did not have to sleep with one eye open. These are a peaceful people. I was also very honest with TheMarty about one of his friends. (see wedding recap post). I wanted him to know how I really felt, lest I be forced to hang out with this chick again. Not only did he take it really really well, he let me just vent and vent and vent until I was finished. I think they both got it. Ok, and yes, we talked about y'all, but only a little. Like "Hey, TheMarty, MenD's coming to town next month." and stuff like that. And a few other things. I can't tell you EVERYTHING. But I will tell you that's it's very likely Shannon, TheMarty and I are getting tricycle tattoos. Squee!!

Fridge note

The Tricycle of Awesome rides again, today at 4:00 sharp. This means: I'm heading to Michigan with my people for a good few days. This means: No computer. No Internet. No blog. This also means: Yes, we are TOTALLY going to talk about y'all when we're drunk sitting around playing games. Have a great long weekend. Don't go blowing any of your fingers off. See you on the flip side!

Im a gi ne

That's about how slow I can play "Imagine" on the guitar. Sigh. I LOVE guitar!!! This stupid song has a few quick tough chord changes, so that's why I'm playing it so very very slow right now, but I am playing it!! The wacko was back. This time she asked if "We could play the Madonna version?" of the song. Our teacher, a member of Old Town's Beatles ensemble said "Hell no." She's gotta go. For real. New problem in Guitar 2. So, these folks have been together for the staggering amount of time that is 18 weeks, and are, like, totally besties! And so not keen on interlopers (aka new people, aka me). I'm not having it. They need to realize this is not their private little group, people come and go at Old Town all the time. Some are warming up to me because let's face it, I'm awesome AND hilarious. Others? Not so much. I've figured it out with one of them, though. Apparently she had dubbed herself the "funny girl" of the class, and OF COURSE I'M A THREAT because I'm 10 x funnier than her without even trying. Ah, well, she will lose. Too bad.

I'm sorry but

No, I'm actually not. The situation: Got to my nasty urine-scented Metra station this morning, right around 7am, as usual. Today, there were six teenagers drinking beer and laying around in the parking lot. Literally. One of them was laying in the drive way. At 7am. God damn right I called the police. WTF. Not sure when Chicago became an open container city, or when 7am sounded like a good time to throw a party in a public parking lot. I actually tried to call 311 first. They then told me no, I needed to call 911. SO I did. I was merely giving them the heads up that not one city block away from the largest police stations in the city, there's a little drinky drinky party going on that they might want to check out. Everyone on the train seemed pretty incensed about it to. SO Get to work, post on teh fb that this happened. AND GOT BERATED FOR IT. Ok, now I finally understand that many many many people present totally false bull shit versions of themselves either on teh fb, or on their blogs (you know who you are) or both. Whatever. FINE You are SOOOOO much cooler than I could ever be!! Being consistently the same person is passe, I guess. BUT Don't go telling me that I'm old, or a fuddy duddy for calling the cops on these cobags. OR telling me that I was just like them. Yeah, so I drank when I was not 21, I fully and freely admit that. Did I do it at 7am, right out in the open? A block away from a police station? Um. No. No I didn't, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. I was a LOT smarter than that.

Is anything else watching this crap?

So. I planned to have, and did have, a mostly relaxing weekend. On Saturday I discovered a whole new show of awesome. It's called Billy the Exterminator. Here's how this happened. So, I was watching one of my favorite shows, Dirty Jobs (heeeey future ex-hubby Mike Rowe) and he went on a job with Billy (long before Billy got his own show). I then remembered that Billy HAS HIS OWN SHOW. So, as luck would have it, there was a Billy marathon going on. I could hardly pull myself away. I mean, his fam is so amazingly, proudly white trash, it was impossible not to fall in serious like with them. AND Billy is smart, like wicked smart. He knows lots and lots of stuff. About lots and lots of things. Sure, I don't need how to repel a gator info, but the stuff on how to keep the raccoons away were very helpful. Billy just needs a decent barber. And a dentist.

Friday Fun Fridgenote

Dear BlogRoll: (aka, "Friends, Lovers, and those I cuddle with) I want to know. Which are you? Are you: A Friend? A lover? Or one I cuddle with? And/Or Which one would you like to be? a little frivolity on a Friday never hurt anyone ;)

Stupid wacko

**First off, I know I said I was on hiatus, but a) I had to write a VonMom bday post and 2) I have to tell you all this story!!** So, last night was the first class of guitar 2. On the first night of every session, all guitar classes meet in the concert hall for some announcements and then you all get split into your classes and off you go. Here's what happened last night, night one of my Guitar 2. Of course, I was early. Like early early. I was the first person in the concert hall. I sat my happy ass down and vegged out. Slowly, people start to come in. While there was still only a handful of us, I hear the following exchange behind me. WhackJob: You know, I believe all guitars have souls. Mine is second hand, so it has a very old soul. NormalDude: Ok. WhackJob: Picks too. Picks have souls. NormalDude: Ok. WJ: I've been playing forever. Never had a lesson, but I'm going to take like intermediate and stuff. V(in her mind): Mmm hmmm. Good luck with that. WhackJOb. **at this point, I text the above guitar/soul exchange to a few friends** 8:00. Everyone's in the hall. I see WJ approach Jimmy T, overlord of the guitar instructors. He asks her to play a few chords. WJ CANNOT STRUM. She gets 3 of the 7 chords close-ish. Not right, but close-ish. Her strumming is horrifying. JT: Ok. Ok, let's try Guitar 1. WJ: No, I'm totally intermediate JT: 1 rep? WJ: shakes over confident head no JT: Ok, I guess you can try Guitar 2. Of fucking course. My class. WJ wasted so much of our class time, and was so very clearly in the wrong class, that it was a huge joke. As we were learning our first tune of the night "Walls" by Tom Petty, which was to be a refresher and to teach two new chords, WJ opined "We suck! Where's the harmony!" Um, what? Some where about the middle of "Country Roads" WJ: "Um, can you find me a nice version of Ave Maria?" Teacher: "No. We don't really teach that here." WJ: "Beyonce does a nice version of that song" wasn't aware Beyonce had taken up acoustic guitar. I've decided to turn her into a drinking game. The half dozen people sitting by me are in. Every time she raises her hand, we drink. Sure, I'll either get a DUI or need to take a cab every week, but it's only 8 weeks, right? That, or I might have to kill her. With her soulful second hand guitar.

Happy Birthday to VonMom

She has a green thumb, like a REALLY green thumb. I don't like plants. She can't carry a tune, and likes to make up her own words to songs. I know more song lyrics than I know anything else, and carry a tune quite nicely. She doesn't like it when I draw smiley faces on her hands. I like to draw smiley faces on her hands. She thinks I'm a smart ass. I think, 'huh, wonder where I got THAT from'. She hates tattoos. Thinks they might be a roadblock to my future as President of the United States. I love my tattoos, am planning on getting another one soon, and was pretty sure that her being not an American citizen might put more of a damper on my future as President of the United States. She thinks (deep down) that I'm smart enough to be President of the United States. She raised me with a "whatever doesn't kill her will make her stronger" mentality. I love that she did. I'm so hugely independent, and that's all her. She and VonDad have the cutest banter you've ever heard. It's like two news anchors that have been working together for, oh, about 25 years or so. She hates that my eyes "crinkle up and disappear" when someone is taking a picture of me. She doesn't realize that hers do the same thing. Deep deep down, she thinks I'm funny, even when she says "You are NOT funny!" I think I'm funny. My friends adore her. I'm pretty sure some of them like her more than me. She may have nearly fainted when her daughters got their ears pierced, but Oh My God, if you wrongfully fire her child from her crappy part time job in high school she will EAT YOU FOR BREAKFAST. She probably thinks that I got some bad habits from her: smoking (well, I'm over that one), t.v. watching, chatting, chocolate eating. What I also got was strength, honesty, drive, and determination. In those I'm proud to say that I'm her daughter. Happy happy birthday Mom. You're the coolest. Love you!

Crappy poster lately.

I don't really want to take a haitus, but it seems like that may be happening. Things at work have been crazy, busy, and crazybusy. My evenings? Even more so. Here's this week: Last night: Ticket counting from MayFest. I left at 9:40 (almost 4 hours of counting) and they were not finished. Tonight: GUITAR 2 STARTS!!!! Woo to the hoo Tomorrow night: VonMom's birthday. I'm trying to crash their dinner plans. Thursday: More time spending with VonParents Friday: Girls night with Toni Saturday night: Volunteering at Old Town Sunday: Something I cannot remember. Now, tomorrow being VonMom's big day, I will be posting a post to her. Beyond that? I will try. and try and try. But I make no promises.

VonForNow

is having such a shit day at work, she can't even talk about it. Nor can she blog.

Interns and book clubs

1. My intern is back at work. Here's why I love her:

• She works her ASS off, all summer for me and LB1.
• She has a great attitude
• She's smart. And driven.
• She's got a great work ethic, for a 20 year old, sure, but there are a lot of people I know that can learn a thing or two from her.
• She really does go to Starbucks whenever we want! Sometimes every day!
• She's adorable

Here's why I don't:

• She's adorable
• Like, all 90 lbs of her
• And 5'0" of her
• Standing next to her makes me feel like....um...... like
• Like Ursula to her Ariel
• Like Snuffulopogus to her Elmo

All kidding aside, I'm sooooo glad she's back!

2. Not Your Momma's Book Club (why, yes, I DID name it, thanks for asking!) had our "On the Road" Jack Kerouac meeting in my awesome yard on Saturday. 3.5 bottles of wine and 5 hours worth of meeting. We're a good club. Really good. Like new people want in to NYMBC all the time. We're letting two new members in this month. I don't think they know about the blindfolds and paddles that come with the first meeting, but whatever.

Not so sure about this new book - "The Help", but in an effort of democracy, I'll read it. Majority rule and all that. I have to get a copy, LB1 is checking to see if she has it to lend to me. Otherwise I'll be hitting up half priced books.com or whatever it's called.

Happy Monday, my shiny happy people, happy Monday.

I got your bandwagon right here

Psst - Hey, hey you Um, so THE BLACKHAWKS WON THE STANLEY CUP LAST NIGHT. SO The rest of the NHL can SUCK IT. That is all. Back about your day. ***return of the snark***

Happy Birthday

Today is my dad's birthday. It's a big one. If you remind him of that, he'll shrug, and say "Eh" in a non-committal way. See, my dad is the guy that they wrote the greeting card about - Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad. Who's my dad? My dad is the greatest man I know. From my earliest memories, he's this guy: The one who bandaged up my busted big toe when I was three after I dropped a glass bottle on it. Also the one who picked me up from a snow drift in the blizzard of '79 when I fell off the sled. And took me to the circus for my birthday. To this guy in my grade school years: The guy who made a super cool erosion science project with wood, duct tape and soup cans. The guy who drove 4 or 5 girl scouts to camp every month or so in his very new Cadillac, and stopped on the way for french fries for all, as long as we didn't tell our leader. And gave me lopsided pigtails when he tried to do my hair. The the one in my high school years: The guy who said "Man, Von, you make me so mad, but I LOVE YOU". The funny guy who, when friend would call on the phone and say "Is Von there?" he'd respond with "Why, yes she is, thanks for asking" and hang up on them. and also the guy who: Hung my and Laura's bras from the ceiling fan when we forgot to take them upstairs with us, he then turned on the fan, in the living room, in front of the picture window. Then along the way: He began to see me as a person, an adult, not as a child. Probably long before I thought of myself that way. He smirks at me in a way that says 'I know. I know what you're thinking. It's pretty funny, but I"m thinking the same thing too.' He loves my mom the way she deserves to be loved. They are the cutest couple I know. Watching them together is like watching a goofy loving sitcom. He reminds me that I'm smart. He loves me in a way that makes me think he loves me the most. Of all seven of his kids. Which is quite a trick. He thinks I'm funny. Really funny. And tells me so. Though I don't let him read VFN, I'm sure he'd be a fan if he did. He's always been supportive of me writing. Happy Happy birthday to my dad - the greatest dad, the greatest person I know. Love ya!

Announcing:

Tomorrow's post will be schmoopy, not snarky, so for those wanting the snark, please come back another day. Thanks!

Viel Spass!

Best things about MaiFest:

• The happy happy fun loving people.
• The delicious food
• The very chilly Hofbrau Original
• My german flag dress and the many complete strangers who took pictures of me in it
• Hot hot men
• The $$ made for DANK

Worst things about MaiFest:

• The happy happy fun loving people who don't know when they've had enough
• Popped polo shirt collars
• The monsoon that was Saturday night
• The Hawks game that stole our thunder Friday night
• The very chilly Hofbrau Original in my shoes. And my hair. And my clothes.
• Hot hot men being cobags
• That horrible song "I don't want her you can have her she's too fat for me" I fucking hate that song
• The fact that all German/Polka bands think "Country Roads" by John Denver should be played again, and again, and again.......all weekend long
• The fact that when I was finally finished working for the weekend, and only had about four sips of beer that they wanted me to go right back to work in the kitchen. Um, no. I left. Everyone else got to stand around and drink, but not me apparently
• Aching feet, back, neck, etc......
• The Creepy McCreeperstein who told me my name isn't actually my name, my name is Nicki. When I said "No, my sister's name is Nicki" he told me her last name. CREEPY. Neither she nor I actually know this guy. HOT guy, but totally creepy!!

Ein, zwei, zuffa!!

Tis the season, again. It's MayFest weekend. Who's the best bier pourer at MayFest? Faster than lightning, not spilling a drop, lotsa foamy or not so foamy, I can do it all. All while wearing my German flag themed dress. Yep, I rock. The five shifts I was assigned attest to that. Wish me luck. I hope to have some good stories after the weekend. These festivals are always prime for people watching.

Lookie there

Hey! Someone's posting again!!

Also

I'll be moving on to new topics. I've given all I can on the wedding recap. Plus, I don't want to piss anyone off (TheMarty / Shannon) if I write too much snark about their friends. Suffice to say You just can't like all people all the time. Even when a slew of people you do like are telling you how much they like a specific someone. Um, sorry, that particular someone was 11 shades of lame, and I would never, could never be friends with them. Among others with their annoying habits and sundry of things for me to dislike/make fun of/abhor. *ahem* Moving on.

Clearly

So, yeah, no post this weekend. Ask me if I have internet at home ? Nope. I do not. NO internet, no blog posts. Funny how that works. Hopefully I will have the issue resolved by Friday of this week.

and Part 2

The big day. Woke up all on my own (like a grown up), hung over like nobody's business at 7:45am. The Bride offered me whole grain bagel with that bull shit neufchatel (read: NOT cream cheese) cheese. Um no. This tummy needs McDs, stat. And Gatorade. We head out, the Bride, the little cousin of bride, some friend of groom chic (more on her later) and I. Stop at McDs. Get some grease/cheese/bread for tummy. Oh, yeah, I still want to puke, and I still haven't actually puked. Get to DANK. Ribbons/bows/flowers/etc......girly things you wouldn't really be interested in. Back to condo. Hair. Makeup. Female bonding aka Thai food and "Pretty in Pink" (finally). I've never been more calm and unrushed getting ready for a wedding before. That went really well. All beautiful and ready. To DANK. In cabs. This is how we roll. NO The Bride did NOT wear her wedding dress in the cab. Things get a little more stressful here. One of the grooms men was totally late, so that messed up the picture taking. There was no professional photographer, so there was a lot of not knowing what to do when and where. The ceremony was beautiful and very short. One of the bridesmaids Rick Rolled the ceremony, which was killer, and OH YEAH, IT WAS ALSO MY IDEA. Her "reading" consisted entirely of the lyrics to "Never Gonna Give You Up" and a little "It Takes Two" by Rob Base and DJ Easy Rock. Awesome. After the ceremony we all headed back up for more pictures, or so I thought, but no, the entire population of guests are smokers, so they all immediately invaded the terrace, so no more pictures. I said f this, not sure what I'm staying up here for then, and I went downstairs to say hello to some people. GOD FORBID I got yelled by easily four people that I shouldn't be down there, and it's time to line up for the introductions and blah blah blah.....hence we entered the 'hurry up and wait' portion of the evening. Sorry, I don't play that game. I basically told all of those yelling at me to fuck off, and I was going to do what I wanted. Guess who was in place and ready to go for the introductions?!? Yep, that would be me. Was everyone else? Um, nope. THEN I was introduced as Yvette. Dear readers, this is NOT MY NAME. Thankfully, DJ corrected himself, and 75% of the people knew me anyway, but still, that part kinda sucked. Each introduced group had their own song that Bride and Groom had picked out for them. Mine and the best man's was "Mah na ma nah" song. I felt a little bad for the best man because this song was selected for me. He thought it was cool though. The best thing was that they had a photo room set up with all sorts of props and such with a photographer all night. He had a projector set up and uploaded the pics right away for all to see. It was a huge hit. Pretty late in the evening, I said to the Bride - "So, we haven't had one picture taken of us all night." Into the photo room we went for some shots. I know in one of them we are holding a little chalk board that says "besties". I can't wait to see all of those pictures! So. There was dancing. Lots of it. There were cupcakes (we totally hid some behind the bar so we could eat them on Sunday). I think there was food (I missed that part). There was drinking and some shots (who me?). And there were speeches. I'm not going to lie. My speech kicked ass. The beginnings of my speech came to me while I was in the shower. I slept on it, and the next day I wrote it all down. I'm going to brag here and state that I didn't do any rewrites. I felt pretty confident in what I wrote. The first part of my speech was to Shannon. The middle part was to TheMarty, the end was to both with an Irish blessing thrown in. I thought it was good. I didn't cry, but will admit I hoped they would tear up. Come to find out throughout the rest of the evening that LOTS of people cried at my speech. They also laughed exactly when they were supposed to, and I even got some unexpected applause at one point. I got more compliments on that than I can count. I think I will either rewrite it nicely or type it up and give them a nice clean copy. Wedding over, a small gathering of people headed back to the condo for some late night deep dish pizza ordering. Once we kicked one of the bridesmaids and a much much younger friend of the groom out of Shannon and Marty's room (EWWW - and Have a little respect for your friends that just got married!) I went to bed. It was like 4am. This post is toooooo long. I will write a part three with the Day After and my musings on a few of the people that were there sometime over the weekend. I know you are all on pins and needles.

Recap part 1

I took off work Thursday, Friday and Monday for the wedding. Here's some of what I did those days. Thursday: I kinda had the day to myself as the Bride overslept by a lot. I got my nails done a lovely shade of purple. I bought an outfit for the rehearsal dinner. I made sure I had my spanx ( you ladies know what I am talking about). Met the Bride at the condo they rented for the weekend. Holy shit. I cried at the sight of it. Why can't I live somewhere awesome like that? My ENTIRE apartment could fit in the kitchen/living room area. And it had a balcony. And a view. And three bedrooms. The Bride gave me a tour. I looked in a bedroom and said "Mine!" Bride laughed, but knew I wasn't kidding. After the quick tour, she and I went to dinner at Hopleaf. We had a couple of lovely beers while we waited for our table. Dinner was a sausage plate appetizer (nom nom nom), a CB&J for the Bride - cashew butter and fig jam - and a brisket sandwich for me. There were homemade potato chips with that. We shared a chocolate mousse with raspberry sauce dessert. I say "mousse" but it was more of a "cement". A delicious cement to be sure. We then went back to the condo. We popped our heads in on the Boston people who were playing games in their condo on the second floor. We headed back upstairs. The Bride had asked me to bring "Pretty in Pink" for us to watch. Of course, we couldn't figure out the DVD player, so that didn't happen. The Groom showed up and the tricycle of awesome had some laughs and then watched "Daybreakers". Not a bad film, I'd say. Super cool concept, actually. Neither Bride nor Groom expounded on the political undertones of the film (I was kinda shocked at that) and it was a good night. Friday. Oops. Made the mistake of turning on the "Grey's Anatomy" finale. First of all, I pretty much don't even watch this show anymore, but I saw previews and was like 'Cool, shoot 'em up at Seattle Grace, that's worth watching'. Wow. Lots of shooting and stuff in the first hour. I had to speak sternly to myself "hey, asshole, you are supposed to be out and about already. get moving" "Yes ma'am" I answered myself. Packed up, headed out. Got the lovely pastries over the Daily for the rehearsal dinner. Had one of those encounters where the manager knew me, and I was pretty sure I didn't know him. I said "Oh, it's not MY wedding" He said "Of course! Because if it was your wedding, this whole place would be jumping!" Um, okkkkkkaaaaayyyy Got to the condo, got to work. Weddings don't just magically appear. There's ribbons, and glue guns, and sparkles and other stuff. Rehearsal dinner. Double ooops. Maid of Honor (ok, yours truly) had one (ok, five) too many Jamey's (ok, shots of Jameson) on top of barely eating and having a bunch (ok, seven or eight) Rolling Rocks. Conversation with self in bathroom: "I have to throw up" "Do NOT throw up. They'll all hear you" "But I'll feel a lot better" "Do NOT throw up." "The Bride is going to kill me" "Do NOT throw up" I didn't throw up. (but in hindsight, I probably should have) Can't say I remember getting back to the condo. I do know we had to be up by 7:45 on Saturday to go over and get the hall ready for the wedding. ...........to be continued..............

Kinda

I'm back(ish)! Did ya miss me? Don't answer that, I know your snark. I missed you. I have tales. And stories. And the like. But alas I am busy catching up with work stuff, and life stuff, and my God it's hot here stuff. I hope to give you some wedding info sometime this week. I don't have any pictures though. I was too busy to take any. I will tell you that my speech was a big hit.

One task down......

Hey! Guess what! I got my speech/toast thing written! I've only be stressing about it for oh......about three weeks now. Once I formulated it, it was pretty easy to craft. It's breezy, witty, funny, smart. Hell, it's just like me.

Stupid internet

Damn you internet connection. I wrote a zombiefull post yesterday. It was short but sweet. Fing internet went away sometime during my writing, and didn't even save my stupid post. I'm not re-writing it. grrr

You were always on my mind

In an effort to be transparent, I have to fill you all in on the goings on around these parts. In 9ish days, two thirds of the Tricycle of Awsome are getting hitched. Since I'm the other one third, of course I'm the Maid of (dis)Honor. I'm very excited that the Boston People will be here for over a week. I haven't seen them since August, so it's going to be awesome. Well, if I can invite myself on some of their outings, it'll be awesome. Plus, there's this one guy that TheMarty's been talking about forever time, so I guess it'll be fun to meet him. Even though for a long time he thought I was a man. Ahem. Why am I telling you all of this? Well I'm busy. Ok, fine, busier than usual. Is that better? And I have things to do. And some stuff to do too. And I have a speech to write. Holy shit, I have a speech to write!!! In an effort to keep the Tricycle of Awesome intact, I will also have to put my best filter on, and bite my tongue every so often. Plus, I'm sure there will be many shenanigans and goings on, but I'll have to figure out just how much is shareable. Shareworthy? Shareingness? So, as much as I'll want to blog about the good times and bad, in sickness and in health.... sorry, went off track there...... I may or may not be around much for a while. Unless I get a thorn in my side about something. And you know, there's always something. Just a little heads up is all.

Am I?

Am I the only one who didn't think that Betty White was funny on SNL? I mean, come on people. She swore. Then, she said lesbian. Then she swore some more. When I'm 88, I will swear for you, and you don't have to watch me on late night t.v. Hell, I'll do it right now. Not funny. That's just my opinion.

I can play this:

Half a mile from the county fair and the rain keep pourin' down Me and Billy standin' there With a silver half a crown ...... my favorite line? And it stoned me to my soul Stoned me just like Jelly Roll What the hell does that even mean? I do not know. But I do know I can play this song, and that makes me a musical human.

You know what sucks?

That because I'm stupid and told people (specifically my sister) about this here blog many many many moons ago, I can't write what I want to write today. SO, I'm choosing to not write a post at all, because all I want to write about I can't. It's my own damn fault, but still. Suffice to say, Mother's day sucked big time.

Help!

You all know, I never NEVER do this - a blatant plea for comments and replies.... BUT I need your assistance. I have a group of "train friends". My tfs (as they shall henceforth be known) are women of varying ages and backgrounds. We like each other well enough and we tend to sit togetherish on the train. Many other train riders don't really care for us and our obnoxious behavior, but oh well, we are very entertaining. There are anywhere from 3 to 8 of us on any given day. There are even two sub-groups of us. The nice ones (generally the older ladies) and the mean ones (just guess which I fall into) NOW There is another group of train people. A small horde. There's 4 of them, sometimes 5 or 6. They are ugly, boring, stupid and all around nasty. They need a name Like, an opposing gang name. This morning I called them the ugly stupid gang. Laura said to me "That's no good. We need VonForNow good." That being said. I pose it to you, because to me they are what they are, the ugly stupid gang. What do you think? What should their name be? And, then, what should our gang be? ** after reading this post again, I had to add a note. Hmmm...Laura said "We need VonForNow good." HuH? I AM VonForNow. I mean, I write it, so it's me, so the snarky wit she's asking for is mine. And my commentors, sure, but mine. Like me and my blog are two seperate things....hm...must think on this for a bit.....**

Jackpot!

Won the lottery with my new guitar teacher. He's 10 shades of awesome. He may or may not (but most likely may) be a hippy. A super cool awesome hippy. His name is Steve. He refers to us as "musical humans" and also "guitar humans" I like being referred to as a musical human. I hear he is one of those people that can hear a song and just play it, with all of the intricate styling he had heard. He is hilarious and cool, and he calls everyone by name. He seems like a genuinely good guy. I'm pretty excited about the next seven weeks of class. On our first day he taught us "(Sitting on the) Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding. Well, until we got to the pesky F chord. The road to my musicianship is currently sunshine and light, and paved with tie-dye and rose-colored glasses.

Agrees

Agrees that she was a little passive aggressive yesterday. And hates passive aggressive kinda a lot. SO, I'm sorry. Or I'm zorry.

phoning it in.

***yawn****

or

whatevs

Happy f*cking Monday

Thanks!

Dear Old Navy, Thanks for cutting your clothes on the big side! My capris are totally falling off me today, forcing me to order my summer clothes one size smaller!! Thanks for making me feel less than - in a good way! Love ya! Von

Dunno

I'm not quite sure how to get GermanClassCrush to love me when he never comes to class the same weeks that I do. We seem to be on this weird blow off class on alternating weeks thing, which sucks. In other news Not that any of you besides Saying Yes would even be aware of it, but I've had an obsession the last two days. back story: Woke up yesterday to go to work, and as usual, the first thing I do is turn on WGN news. There was a dog running on the expressway. And then swimming in the river. And then running down the expressway. Yes, there were cars on the expressway. Here's me: "Where ya going baby? Huh? Be careful? Someone help him!" yes, I was mostly speaking to my t.v. I went to wgn.com all day for updates, and nada. I guess the little guy got tired and ran into some woods. I figured I'd keep checking for updates today. So Wake up this morning, turn on t.v., wrong new on. I see - a dog, running down the expressway. I say "A day late and a dollar short with your news...." Then I see the little icon that says LIVE I switch over to WGN and "So if you're just tuning in, no this is not a joke, that dog is back, running on the expressway again" and here's me: "Where ya going baby? Huh? Be careful!! Where is animal control!?!? OMG don't hit him!!!" I had to turn it off when he almost very nearly got hit by a semi. Get to work Checking WGN The poor thing got tired and got arrested. For realz. He was last seen in the back of a squad car. Allegedly he's a pit bull named Boxer. I see, he ran away because of the identity crisis in being a pit bull named Boxer. I'd really like to take his stupid owner, have him go for a little jog on the highway, followed by a swim in the river, a night in the woods, and then another run on the highway. Stupid people should not be allowed to own dogs.

Quick Geeeetar Update

So, sitting in our final Guitar 1 class Saturday, getting ready to go up to the auditorium to "graduate" by playing a song on stage, our teacher noticed our nervousness. To make us feel better, he said: "Don't worry. There is absolutely NOTHING riding on how well you play this song..." well, that was not an accurate statement, as you all know I had A LOT riding on this song. We let the teacher know what the deal was: "Von does. She has to do well, or her dad won't let her keep the guitar" "Oh. Ok, here's what we're going to do - Von will sit next to me....." We got on stage. We played "Dark Hollow" We didn't suck. Went to lunch with VonParents immediately after graduation. I sat with my geeeetar, like it was my date. Lull in the conversation I say: "So.....?" VonDad **smirk** VonMom "Oh, I think you can keep using it." weird flutter of the hands, kinda like a pshaw, we're done with this conversation VonDad "For now." My plan? Get to Guitar 3, or even Guitar 4ever, and then open up discussion about the Guitar being MINE 4ever. My evil plan is in the works...... stayed tuned.....(music joke, kinda, hahahaha)

Thank you, Dictionary.com

Judgmental: 1. involving the use or exercise of judgement 2. tending to make moral judgements Apparently, this is what I am. Or think maybe some of my closest friends think I am. Sure, I have strong opinions, but if someone is my friend, they should know that pretty early on in the friendship. Here's me using it in a sentence: Because I'm judgmental, two of my best friends basically don't tell me anything anymore. How can you use it in a sentence? I could also use some help figuring out WHY my honest opinions are often dismissed as judgmental.

You are on notice:

Please note Friends, Lovers, and those I cuddle with. If you DO NOT post within 30 days....... You do NOT get to live at the top of the list. that's just how it is. Get off your asses and write a post or two. C'mon.

Things that make you go hmmmm

The other day I was getting ready to to out. While getting ready, I was blasting Q101. Q101 happens to be Chicago's alternative radio station. It tends towards heavier bands, which is what I dig. The louder, the faster, the better for me. I love the same types of music I always have. My age has not mellowed me out. I love Korn. Slipknot, Rise Against, NIN, Breaking Benjamin, Sick Puppies, 30 Seconds to Mars - all these bands and more are what Q101 plays. The problem? Turns out I am so NOT their target audience. Neither my age nor my gender make me someone that they cater to. Yet, I can't stay away from it; At home, in my car, at work (when I'm not listening to XRT) I just wonder if I'm an anomaly. Am I supposed to no longer like hard/fast/edgy music after I reach a certain age? Is that what happens? I mean, I do love allll of my various types of music, this just happens to be the one that I come back to the most. Am I one day going to wake up and crave adult contemporary? *shudder* Or show tunes? I can't let that happen. I just can't.

I reckon (or, actually, didn't)

I don't regret much from my younger years. Truthfully, from time to time I even wonder if my best years are behind me. But, that's a subject for another day. One thing I totally regret, and am trying to make up for now is this: I never realized how amazing R.E.M. is. I mean, amazing. Sure, I have "Out of Time", I think there was a rule that all high school seniors had to have that CD. I gave it a good amount of play time, but there was always some other band stealing away my attentions. Either something new, or an old standby, R.E.M. never really stuck with me. Until recently. I can kinda remember when it happened, too. I was driving and I heard a song by Michael Stipe and Natalie Merchant. It was a song I've never heard before or since. It was beautiful. And it got me to thinking. I bought "Nightswimming" on iTunes. I dusted off "Out of Time". I revisited "Lifes Rich Pageant" What was I thinking?!?! Why wasn't I cool enough to know and appreciate this for what it was?!?! Why wasn't I paying attention? So now I'm on a mission. An R.E.M. super appreciation mission. I'm eating them up like candy. Every song I can, every lyric mentally broken down for meaning and movement. I may have been blind before, but now I'm all over this. I'm sorry, Michael Stipe, for not being smart enough to get it.

Guitar Goddess!!

ZOMG Not only can I play a passable version of "Free Fallin'" NOW I can also play that cool part of "Paint it Black" you know the part the bing bing bing bing bing byong bung bong.... That part! Guitar 1 graduation, T minus 6 days!! OTSFM, Saturday 4/24, 12:15, be there or be square

Fridge note

So Heyyyyy, I've been busy.... w o r k i n g I know, sigh, no excuse. but I have post in my head. Just need time to write it. Soon, my little ones, soon.