Monday, January 30, 2012


Once upon a time....
I was a Girl Scout. I wasn't just a GS in grammar school, when it was kinda acceptable - OH NO.
I was a full fledged graduated after getting every single award possible GS.
I have my Gold Award, which is the highest honor in scouting.
I can light a fire in the rain with a single match.
I can cook a four course meal in the ground in a dutch oven.
I can camp, outdoors, in every season the Midwest has to offer. EVERY season.
I can survive for two and a half days with just the items in my back pack.

So, this year is the 100th anniversary of GS.
I have fallen away from the organization over my adult years solely because I have a hatred (that is 100% reciprocated) for the woman that was my troop leader when I graduated.
She is the reason I have done nothing - because she is everywhere.  So, I just gave in and stopped.
But I can tell you that the reason I continue to volunteer my life away to this day has it's roots in my GS background.

I loved everything about the GS, and I can say that GS is mostly responsible for my independent spirit, my gigantic self confidence, all of my good qualities - not the least of which my ability to survive a zombie apocalypse.

This past Saturday, the previously mentioned hated one (heretofore known as HO) had an all day celebration for her past scouts.  Laura and I decided to make an appearance.

It was bittersweet for me, seeing years and years and years worth of pictures of me and Laura in our best friend times.  We received our Gold Awards together. Those days, we did everything together. So looking at the pictures was really hard for me, because I miss that.

Anyway - came across a picture of EB.  EB and her friend DT were older than me, and used to pick on me.  DT was very scary, she was just a mean bitch - but EB was the one who was silent so therefore deadly.  I looked at these pictures, and said out loud:
"If EB showed up here today, I could totally kick her ass! I bet I'm five times her size!"
---EB was a very tiny girl----
Then I looked at HO and said "She's not coming is she?"
HO of course, ignored me. 
So, we sat there and had some dollar store pop and some cookies and killed time.

All of the sudden
And four teenagers

I can't really tell you what happened, but I know I fell over chairs, got all flushed, and begged Laura if we could go.  EB avoided me, until I said:
"EB. I was so afraid of you."
She laughed the laugh that I immediately remembered as villainous and evil. Except now it didn't sound so evil.
"I just told these kids in the hallway that you were afraid of me for years, so I wasn't going to talk to you"
"Ha! Ha ha! Yep, well that was then and all that"......and I fell over a chair backing away from her.
Best part? - It's true, I'm way taller and way bigger than she is.  She's a mom. A 41 year old mother.
And I'm a bad-ass, a few years her junior.
But I turned into a big pile of cowardly goo.
I got really nervous about everything coming out of my mouth.
Laura finally stated that we could go.
Thank God!
Said goodbye to EB, who was having a field day with my awkwardness.
Had to say goodbye to HO.
She said:
"You should stop by our meetings! Any time!'
My reply:
blank stare
Somehow, not sure, I recovered myself just enough to get a dig in there.

So, that was my Saturday......or part of it, anyway


blue girl said...

Oh, how nerve-wracking!! I could feel your nervousness through the screen!! I'm glad it didn't come to blows. And I think it's so cool that you were (are) such an awesome girl scout!! So awesome....send me some Thin Mints!!

(The yucky feelings you described in this post is one reason I hate FB. There are ppl and times I'd rather keep hidden back in that dark, dark closet of my mind)

zombie rotten mcdonald said...


Brando said...

If said [insert prefix here]pocaylpse happens, come to TLB's parents house in Antioch. Your skills will be well appreciated and I 100% guarantee we will never run out of ammunition.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I loved being in the Boy Scouts, von.

I didn't get hardly any badges, because, BADGES???

But I did catch a lot of snakes and go canoeing and stuff that was cool.

Jennifer said...

I was a Campfire Girl... and can light a fire in the rain with one match, but not because I was a Campfire Girl, but because I NEED COFFEE!!!

blue girl said...

I don't even think I was a Brownie.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Could you fight off a grizzy bear with a tuna can lid? Huh?

Samoas... most powerful cookie in the universe!

Kathleen said...

another reason why you are awesome Vonnie