Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Hello, my past

Back in July of 2008, I wrote a post about how I had a dream about this set of dude twins I had known back in the day.  The post was about how I wanted to find them.
A few weeks or days (not sure) later, I wrote a follow up post that I had found them.  One is a Dr., professor of many things, and one is an MBA / opera singer.


B (who lives around here) has been going through some stuff lately.  Not my story to tell, but let's just say he's at a cross roads in a few areas.  I've been trying to be his friend, and be there for him, but he would pull away almost as quickly as I'd offer to help.

Sunday night, as I was nestled on my couch in my p.js, I got a call from M's cell phone.  I lept to answer it, because I was afraid that something bad had happened to B.

Nope - it was B, telling me that M was in town, and asking me if I wanted to hang out. 
Now, here's the thing - Nothing (ok, not much) will get me off my couch on a Sunday night. 
I have this flaw? asset? that I am loyal to my friends to a fault.  When certain people call, I will come running, no matter what.  Most of the people I would do this for would never take advantage of it (I hope) and they would do the same for me (I hope).
Of course, I got off the couch, put some real clothes back on, and headed out to the 'burbs at 9:30pm on a Sunday.

Admittedly, I wanted to see B in person and know for myself that while things are not exactly awesome for him, that at least he was getting along ok.  I also wanted to see M.  I hadn't seen him in a very very long time.

The three of us sat in B's sparsely furnished new apartment, sitting by candle light, drinking beer and listening to all kinds of mellow music. 

I need to separate out the weird by brother, to make it less confusing:
First up - M
V: "M, I can't remember the last time I saw you"
M: "Well....."
V: "What? I really don't know for sure when it was"
M: "The Cass Hotel"
My face flamed up all red and hot.  Shit -that's right. The last time I saw M, I tried to seduce him.  Well, not really seduce him.  I guess I was trying to sleep with him.  We had been getting into something more than friendship for a while before that. 
Needless to say, I failed in my attempt.  I was mortified, crushed, and kinda let him go after that.  It was easy - he was living out of state and was not coming back.  This was many many years ago.

Well, M is considering a move back to IL.  Maybe not Chicago, likely not Chicago, but back to IL.  Me being me (no filter) I said:
"Huh. Not sure how I feel about you living in the same state as me again."
He gave me a look, then proceeded to tell me that he's aware there are a few Illinoisians that might feel the same way as I do.
I can't remember what exactly was said, but at one point, B said to us:
"Should I leave you two alone?"  kinda joking, kinda not kinda thing.
There was no need to leave us alone - I was made aware that not only is M still involved with someone in NY, he also has someone in MO. 
As I was leaving, M said
"So, you'd come visit me in Dekalb?"
"Sure, B will come with me"
V: sigh "We'll see. Maybe. I don't know"

Now for B
B was my junior prom date. Remember your junior prom date? I'm so lucky to still be friends with mine.  He and I "dated" (as much as you can date in high school when you live in two different cities and don't have cars) for a little while back in the day.  Long before the "thing" with M.  That was college.
I had no thoughts of anything slutty or subversive, so the flirty Von was turned off.
B headed to the bathroom and M leaned forward and said:
"Please. Don't sleep with B"
I started waving my hands around and sputtering - "Wha? Who? What the?"
I finally composed myself enough to get a little pissed at M
"Why would you say that? The thought hasn't even entered my mind!"
"Well, he's thought about it, I'm sure."
So there it was.  M proceeded to tell me that over the past few months, B has been a little out there as far as women go.
I still wasn't sure why this was being discussed but whatever.  I guess the candles and music were starting to make some sense.
Lots of chatting.  Lots of smiling at each other.  Means nothing, I think.  Late night, beers, been a few years since we'd seen each other.

Said my goodbyes, headed home.  Long drive home in the middle of a Sunday night.

Lots to mull over. 

I texted them both on Monday, separtely, to say how happy I was to see them, and the visit was worth staying up so late for.
M texted back that he will let me know if he got the job in Illinois or not.
B texted back to say he had fun too.

As of right now, this moment - I'm happy just to have them both as friends.  Good friends.  It was like no time at all had passed.  I don't think I have romantic feelings towards either of them right now.  I stand by the fact that I want someone entirely new, not at all connected to my past in any way. 

Still, I felt it was a story worth sharing with you all.  So there it is.


Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

As of right now, this moment - I'm happy just to have them both as friends. Good friends. It was like no time at all had passed. I don't think I have romantic feelings towards either of them right now. I stand by the fact that I want someone entirely new, not at all connected to my past in any way.

No trip like the nostalgia trip.

Jennifer said...

"So, you'd come visit me in Dekalb?"

DeKalb?? F*** no! It's DeKalb!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Lol at Jennifer.

I have some old fiends I meet up with annually (on the golf debacle), but it's different with the old (and interpersonal) stuff that rarely happens. Don't know if I'd handle it as well as you, Von.

(dealle encestro, says w.v.)

fish said...

Please. Don't sleep with B

I mean seriously WTF kind of comment is that? B is the one with some issues if you ask me.
Not that anyone did.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Next time, on As The Von Turns...

Jennifer said...

I stand by the fact that I want someone entirely new, not at all connected to my past in any way.

I think that sounds like a fabulous idea. No strings, no baggage, no confused emotions. Of course the new eventually turns into the old, which has plenty of strings, baggage, and confused emotions. :)

I'm just teasing, Von. New sounds very good and healthy. Bring on the NEWNESS!!!

Michael said...

Twins eh?

Von said...

Z, pumpkin, you saying I have drama? ;)
Michael, pumpkin, Yes.....twins. I can be charming and sparkly when I want to be

Von said...

J - I know you were kidding. I agree, bring on the newness!
B4, yes, nostalgia is really something, you know? The most bittersweet thing
Thunda, thanks. I'm still trying to process it all
Fish do I still need to ask? Your opinion is required! :)