Tough love via a guitar

Last week, VonMom made this statement about VonDad's guitar:
"If you're not going to play it, then you cannot have it."
Way to tough love me, VonMom.
So, went to breakfast Saturday morning with her, and assured her that yes, the guitar was in my car, meaning yes, I was going to class.

I went to Old Town - after I parked, I realized it was the first time I'd been there since VonDad passed.
Got myself in the door, got myself signed up for class, picked up a paycheck, and headed to the store to get the guitar tuned.
Handed guitar to dude in store.
Dude: "Wow. This is a really nice guitar."
Tears.
Sigh.
So, I did go to class, knowing full well that favorite teacher man knew the situation.
"I will sit by the door, in case I need to leave."
"You do what you need to do."
Not only did I survive class, but ultimately, I enjoyed it.  We played a few songs  I had learned before, so it was easier than I had expected.
Whenever I looked up, teacher man was smiling in my direction, nodding his head - his way of encouraging me to keep going forward.
At one point, he said "It's like riding a bicycle."  and I felt that that was true.
About half way through class, I found myself singing along and enjoying my playing, which I didn't think would happen so quickly.  It was mostly bitter, small parts sweet, but I did it.

After class, teacher man said "See you next week?"
*sigh* "No, we're having my dad's internment. I'll be at the cemetery." *sigh*

One step forward, two steps back.

I mean, how could you NOT.....

Man, I was TOTALLY going to marry Slash.....
But this is more about the weather and my mood than the hot that is (was?) Slash.

Enjoy, minions  CO-HORTS (better???)

I must go wipe the sweat off my brow.

Me quoting me

Yep, I said it.
Here are some of the things I said over the weekend.*
'Cause it might be entertaining.

• I think J is married. Or dead. These are the only two logical explanations.
• No, I did not have company last night. That was your tennant. Go, tennant, go.
• Why, yes, I did throw away the Color Me Badd and the Debbie Gibson.
• You can shower at my house, and sleep in my bed. I promise not to touch you.
• It took me over five hours and three industrial garbage bags.
• I need you to come downstairs and bring a killing thing with you.
• If I can't shit, you can't sit.
• Oh, my, you look so incredibly.......gay. Or Polish. Or both.
• .....spins a web, from his hand, Man that's cool Spider Man!.....
• I think, you know, like a spring. But not just a spring, a cool spring, with stuff in or around it.
• Thank you for not making me smack your heads together.
• Ain't no party like an A Team party. Which one am I again?
• So I'm just supposed to rinse the still moving legs down the drain?!
• and then, you know, I got those unsolicited dick pics......
• How nice of him. Want to come play barbies?

See? Now it's like you were right there with me.
And yes, I was sober the entire weekend. No, no new meds, just no time to drink.



*In completely random order

borrowing Fuck you Friday

So, I'm going to go ahead and borrow Fuck you Friday from the Zombie.
I don't think he'll mind.
And if he does, I apologize.

Today's target of the Fuck you Friday are the couple 'o dudes in my life who find more fun in flirting via text and email and IM than in actually hanging out in person.  Flirting is fun and all, but I want MORE.

Head Games by Foreigner just popped up on the iPod - a sign? I think so!

Saluting you with a kiss to my middle finger E, A, and J.
You're almost out of chances. 

Because, you know, I'm vulnerable and prone to making bad decisions......

Awesome people are awesome

Against all wishes, time does indeed soldier on.
I guess I'll have to move along with it.
Back to work this week. Some days are more difficult than others, but the busy distraction is definitely good for me.

So, there was this non-Von-birthday thing last Friday night.
I had every intention of cancelling it, but VonMom argued against it, and to be honest, VonMom pretty much gets whatever she wants these days.

I went ahead with it.  I sent an email to all those invited and said hey, let's all meet and have a drink to my dad instead.

I had a friend pick me up an hour early, just so I could get there and have a drink and settle in to the evening.  Upon arrival, ran into two of my Old Town friends who were early for the get together.  An area was secured and we got to drinking.  My first drink was a perfect Rob Roy on the rocks with a twist - Dad's drink. It was super yucky, but I drank it.  A steady stream of people I love started showing up.  An even steadier stream of beer found it's way down my throat.  A few shots decided to join the party. "To Bob!" "Yes! To Bob!" slam slam slam.

This awesome person showed up with her awesome hubbs. She said "So, a friend of mine is coming." My response "the more the merrier" and all that business.
Not long after, she said "My friend is here", so I turned around and there was this guy. I fully admit that I almost started crying to see him there, but the case of New Glarus beer he had brought me put the smile right back on my face.  I made my way around the bar, and realized that a good third of the place was my friends and family. Not to mention the dear dear friend of mine who was bar tending that night.  As I was talking to some people, another great friend showed up. There was hugging and happy bdaying and condolencing. yes, I totally know I made that word up, so shut up.

Wow, three of my favorite bloggy friends, all in one place! Four if you count Grizzled, and I totally do.  I don't really feel I had enough time or sobriety to spend with them, but the fact that they were there is so special to me.

Sure, I got wasted, and sure, I told some people some secrets I probably should not have, but I'm hiding behind my family's statement that I am 'vulnerable and prone to making bad decisions' right now.  I DO remember telling the entire bar that I got me some the night before. Why, yes, reader, you totally read that right - I got me some on my birthday. But that's a post for another day. Or, you can ask Jennifer, Z, or Brando, since I'm sure I told them the story more than once at the bar!

I received this email from eldest VonSis* the next day: 'It made me smile to see you hugging and telling every single one of your friends that you loved them last night. And I know it wasn't the booze or the cupcakes talking, you actually meant it. You told them all. That's great.'
She's right. I did hug and tell everyone that came out that night that I loved them - because I do.  I don't think (aside from our parents) we tell each other that enough.  As you all well know, my friends are incredibly important to me, and I do love them. Each and every one.
Sure, I may be vulnerable and prone to making bad decisions** right now, but I'm also living the John Mayer "Say what you need to say" mantra right now.
I hope that I continue to be honest with my feelings with everyone for a while, and that it's not just a knee-jerk reaction to losing my Dad. We'll see.  I could use a little softening around the edges.

*Officially dropping the Step sib moniker from the J5.  They're my family, and I'm going to try to keep them that way, so from now on, they'll all just be VonSis and VonBro. There are five of them, and one actual VonSis, so I'll try to be pretty clear about who's who.

**Whoever makes me a tshirt, button, wall hanging that says this phrase will be my new best friend forever.  If tshirt, I'm a 3x. I like 'em big.

See that twinkly smile?

Here they are, VonMom and VonDad.
See the twinkle? That's where I get it from.
This was just taken on October 2nd. At my sister's birthday party.
Such a great day - he was happy and smily and having lots of laughs.

No regrets, Dad, you and I? We loved each other well.

Fridge note:

Dear -

• Fish
• MenD
• BG
• K-Unit
• Pinko
• AK
• Smut
• B4
• Thunder
• Mikey

Please email me your mailing address. My email is vonnie1027@hotmail.com

Thanks.

Thank you so much for the flowers. I'm touched, and grateful to know you all

Everything to me

This week, I had been planning to write a letter to myself, for my birthday.
But of course, life got in the way, and yesterday was the worst day of my life.
My dad died yesterday so suddenly that I'm still reeling, and in shock. So instead of sleeping or getting ready for tomorrow (which promises to be another awful day), I'm going to write him a letter.

Dear Dad,
Thank you for choosing to be my dad. With five kids already, you didn't blink an eye when you took on the tornado that was me and my sister.  Thank you for loving my mother so fiercely and completely for as long as I can remember.  Thank you for telling me to "look it up in the dictionary", because today my spelling, vocabulary and grammar are enviable.  Thank you for telling me to "not piss my life away", because that is the reason my life is so full and awesome as it is.  Thank you for loving me enough to see past the tattoos, the weird hair colors and clothes, the cranky and snarky that is me and love me every day anyway.

Thank you for handing me the unfinished crossword puzzle last Thursday with the little grin on your face, when you said "Can you help me finish it?".  Thank you for asking my opinion on everything from baseball to cars to politics.  Thank you for teaching me how to put air in the tires, check the oil, and jiggle the wires until it works again.

I loved that our phone calls always started with "Hi Dad it's me!" "Hello me! What's up?" and ended with a chuckle and an "Ok honey, you take care."  I loved to make you laugh, and tried to do it every time I saw you.  I loved your laugh, and the twinkle in your eyes, like you and I were the only ones in on the best joke ever.

You taught me just about everything I know, and I think my love of music and desire to play music comes entirely from you.  I'll never forget the day you came into my room when I was blasting a new CD over and over. I expected you to tell me to turn it down. Instead, you asked who I was listening to, stayed for a minutes, said "I really like this" and walked out.  I was so happy that you were so hip!

Though hugging you was so hard for me since you had become so little over the last few years, they were always good long hugs, with a bristly peck on my cheek to follow. I know you know that that was way better than the nights that I just yelled down the stairs to you "BYE DAD!" "Bye honey!"

Thank you for being so very honest with every question I've ever asked you. I think you were shocked more than once by the questions, but you always gave them thought, and answered honestly.
Thank you for having an opinion on the things I was smart enough to ask your opinions.  Especially on the most important thing I ever went through on my own.
On the same note - thank you for letting me live my life as I saw fit.  You really gave me wings to fly and I think you really dug watching me soar. You never meddled, I always felt like I was on this great ride, and you and Mom were watching happily from the ground, keeping an eye on me, but letting me have the loops and thrills along the way.

I love that you have always loved my friends, all of them.  Though you admitted that they are a huge, diverse and sometimes motley crowd, you took pains to remember who was who, and I think you genuinely liked to be in their company, as much as they liked to be in yours. I was so proud to have "the cool Dad". I'll never forget the day you said to me "You're just like me, Vonnie. Can't leave the house without running into someone you know! Between the two of us, we probably know everyone!"

I think the universe got it right when it put our family together.  There couldn't possibly be any other man who could have been my Dad.  A perfect fit, even though it didn't happen the usual way.  I am so grateful that there is not a moment of my life that I don't remember you in.  I feel that the time I've had with you is just not enough, but 100 years wouldn't be enough. 

May angels lead you in, Dad - a wonderful Dad, husband, grandpa, engineer, pool player, tenor, musician, magician, jokester, gin rummy winner, silly dude.  May angels lead you in.

Party's Over

Please pick up after yourself. Let's leave the place as clean as we found it. In the meantime, one more video.

Sweating all over Von's blog

Invasion!!! Invasion!!!

Sweat
Broken
Now

Invasion!! Invasion!!

Invasion! Invasion!

Von Voyage!

Thanks to Thunder for the title.
I think my phone is working, but this font seems off. Who cares! We're in Boston and it's going to be wicked pisser! I may never come back .

One more before I go

I thought I'd leave one more "post" before I go. If you can call posting a video a post!
I might try to post while on the road, that is if my stupid smart phone lets me!
Now, it's on to BOSTON!
HAPPY FRIDAY, SUCKAS!
Oh, you know I love you. Play nice while Von is gone. I'll be watching!

Update on the un-dateable

Yesterday I had to quit both free dating web sites.
I had been thinking about it anyway, but then this happened:
I received not one, but TWO emails containing pictures of stranger men's penises.
And NO, I didn't ask for them.
I had been emailing with one man who seemed nice enough, and out of the blue - BAM - dick pic.
I thought, ok WTF and stopped emailing with him.  Then I reported him to the site.
Logged off there, went over to the other site, same thing happens!
I sat back and did some intro-spection -
'Am I the kind of woman that attracts this? What did I do to make this happen? Who in the hell does this?! What kind of reaction are the expecting to get from that!?!?!!?'
As I got more and more irate, I just went and disabled both accounts.
Before I disabled them, I did email two other non-dick pic sending men I had been having normal chatting emails with. I gave them my phone number so they could call or text me instead.
I doubt I'll hear from either one of them.
You get what you pay for, I guess, and these sites were both free.

I did have to laugh when my new train friend B said "Well, were you disgusted by the pictures, or more.........disappointed?"


So, here I remain - Vonbyherselfforfuckingever.

I'm blaming L for my current state of being.  I was totally and completely fine being alone before he got himself involved with me and then dropped off the face of the planet.
Now, I'm wanting something I hadn't wanted for a while, and confused and hurt as to why I just can't have it.

Not awesome

Things are not going awesome in the world of online dating, at least for me.
I've had a few go nowhere texters.
I did meet one guy the other night.
I was sure that I would be the one to politely decline a second date, as in my opinion I was 100% dating down, but he gave me the heave ho via email the next day.
Sure, it was two hours and $4.75 of my time, but it's shaken my ability to read people.
It has also called in to question my high opinion of myself.  Perhaps I am not as awesome as I think I am.  Or, even worse, perhaps my personality does NOT outweigh other less stellar attributes.

Tonight, I'm supposed to be meeting Junior. I call him Junior because he is 5 years young and 3 inches shorter than what I consider my minimums.  But, he's persistent, and we've had some fun via email.  A little concerned we are meeting without having even exchanged phone numbers yet.  Stranger still that the meeting is likely to occur at either my house or his.  This is only because our first meeting plan is to have an incredibly competitive game of Scrabble.  Sure, I could get murdered, or disappear, BUT if I do go to his place, it will be proof to me that he is not married.

I may be way too naive for this whole Internet dating thing.  My biggest concern is this:
My friends are so fantastic, and do not lie to me.  I do not lie, in fact, one of my faults is being way too honest way too much of the time.  I'm finding out through this Internet trial by fire that I assume everyone is as honest as my friends and I are, all of the time.  I need to stop doing that.  It's not doing me any good, not in this area, at least.

So, this is more of a rant than a post. But it's all that's in my head right now.

Von for MEOW

Um, so I don't have a cat, I'm allergic. But if I could, this would be my cat.
This is Simon's Cat.
If you haven't seen any of these before, you are MISSING OUT.
So check out the rest.

p.s. I do an awesome Simon's Cat voice.

p.p.s. Yes, smart asses, I totally broke a sweat posting this video for you.

Happy Friday.

Plenty of what the f.......

In an effort to forget that L ever existed, and to get myself out of the emotional rut I've been in, amongst other things....
I drunkenly signed up on two free dating websites.
Why one when you can be on two??

Anyway. I did this over the weekend when I was home, alone, drunk.

So, yeah, not an awesome start right there.

The upside, though, is that I'm damn funny, even when drunk.  So my profiles read wicked awesome.  And I have three cute pictures of me that I put up.

I forgot about it, then went on both sites Sunday afternoon to see what was up.
Oh, F word.

Damn it all to hell. Fat fetishists (ICK) and chubby chasers galore.  NOT for me.
So, I had to put the bitch beat down on every single one of those.  Some were a little more persistant than others - those had to be reported to the sites.  I do not play around with the nasty side of things.

Once I got over the shock of all the nasty, I weeded out some definitely nots - nicely, sent them all reply emails with various reasons why they were not the one, ending with 'Good luck with your search!' - and ended up emailing with a few very nice dudes.

It's now Wednesday, and I'm up to three Tims, who are now Tim Dom, Tim Pumpkin Hat, and Tim Cupid; Bill (fiesty one), Jeff  (sweet and too young, but the email was so nice he's in the keep pile), Adam (we'll see on this one) and two other dudes I don't know the names of yet.

I'm really kinda not too serious about this, some might call them place holders (ahem, story for another day, if it ever gets fully resolved), but I'm willing to give it a shot.

The downside is that it's like a gdmn part time job. The texting, the emailing, the picture posting, the updating.  Thank God both sites have apps for my Android. Still, though, it's a pain in the ass.

Currently in the lead is Tim Cupid, who I'm likely to meet this weekend. He's heading out of town next weekend for 2 months for work training. So we're going to meet to see if we want to be email or text friends while he's away.  He's hilarious, and agrees that I have fantastic hair.

At the very least, you all should get some pretty good stories out of this whole thing.

And oh, yeah, my internet crushes - you probably know who you are - you're still in my heart o' hearts, you're just both so damn far away.......

Random Monday

• Someone is heating up something stinky. It's only 11am, c'mon people.
• I'm going to see the Mekons on Wednesday. And hanging out with a Zombie. Be jealous.
• Bedroom overhaul 2011 is moving forward, full steam ahead.  I have about two weeks to take everything out of there and clean it. Then my bestie will be painting it. Hopefully after that the overlords will be putting it all back together when I'm out of town.
• I'm going to BOSTON!! In 18 days.
• Oh, and Shannon and TheMarty are going too.......
• I'm learning new things about college football. I like to yell "GO BIG RED!"
• I only moped minimally this past weekend. Yeah me. 
• Von birthday fun times is happening 10/28. Get yourselves to Chicago, and I'll buy you a beer. I swear it.
• The episode of Dr. Who on Saturday blew my mind. I watched it twice. TWICE.
• SNL was actually good on Saturday - Melissa McCarthy was hosting. Enough said.
• I love having a DVR thingy.
• I've read 27 pages of A Dance with Dragons.  Only 800,000,000 to go.

All I can write today

Once upon a very different time,
There was a very different girl,
With purple plaid well fought for,
A blue ring that was never quite right,
and yard and yards of perfect white satin

Movies movies movies (aka Von's boring weekend)

So, L was out of town this past weekend, and likely is in the process of kicking me to the curb (more on that another day)
Which worked out well, because one of my bosses needed me to do some work over the weekend.
And by some, I mean a lot of mind numbing researchy stuff.
So I thought
'Hey! I can finally watch those two movies I've had from Netflix since June!'
I am so not kidding. What, I get busy a  lot.
First up?
The Social Network. I liked this movie. I dare say I even liked it more than I thought I was going to like it.
Followed by:
The Kids are All Right. Or whatever the fuck it's called. I stopped caring by about minute 29. Needless to say, I hated this movie, and everything about it. I guess it's cool to name your kid Laser. I guess. Ok, no, it's actually not cool at all. Hated this so much, I want that time back.
Since I was on a movie kick, I ordered Paul on the tv.
I was SO disappointed in this! I am a huge Simon Pegg/Nick Frost fan. I will watch Hot Fuzz, Spaced, or Shaun of the Dead over and over and over and over.
Hated Paul. Perhaps because I hate Seth Rogen, and he voices the alien, but no, I think it was way more than that.
Sigh.
Looking for some movie redemption, and a break from working, went to see Contagion.
Great movie. Saw it with a friend who has a Master's degree in Public Health.
She filled me in on how very realistic it was.
Awesome.
Remembered my shitty health year I've been having.
Went home and googled "bubble". No such luck.  I now have hand sanitizer containers just about Everywhere.

Sorry, this one is a downer

You all know I'm addicted to delightful God-daughter (DGD, I'll call her for the rest of this post) like she's crack.
She's everything to me, and the closest thing I'll ever have to my own offspring.

Well, Wednesday morning, I woke up to this text from her mom:
'One of DGD's friends died. I don't think I can handle this'

Friends, DGD is 11 years old.

She's never experienced death before, being lucky to have very healthy grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.  I think she had a gold fish die once, that's about it.

After a flurry of texts and emails, I found out that DGD's friend and classmate had passed away six days before his 12th birthday. He had brain cancer, and had been diagnosed under a year ago. 

My stupid question was how is DGD handling it? Her mom told me that there's a lot of sobbing in their house, and things are not good.

The only thing I can think to do is cancel my plans for tonight, and go to this wake with them. Of course, both of DGD's parents will be there, but in this situation I think she needs all of the people around her that she can get.  Like I said, it's the only thing I can think to do. Being with her always makes me feel better, I can only hope that I do the same for her.  I don't think I'll have much to say, because what do you say?  VonMom said I need to be strong for DGD. I'm not sure how strong I'll be. Admittedly, I do not have nor ever intend to have kids of my own, but if anything were to happen to DGD, Oh My God. I can't even.......

So take this for what it is.  Hug someone you love today, whether they are a child or a grown up.  Love someone you hug today.

And say a prayer for that poor little boy.  May angels lead him in, and comfort his family.

Breaking a sweat

You're welcome

And I remain....

Two years ago, a reader asked what Von for now meant.
At the time, I was not prepared to answer that question.
This being my 500th post, I think it's a good time to try to explain it.

Hi, I'm Yvonne
Before I popped out of VonMom, in her head, I was to be Yvette.
She forgot.
No, I'm not kidding. She found the note in her purse a few days after she had me with Yvette written on it.
"Close enough", she thinks she said. Thank GOD, because I am so not an Yvette.
Though she tried really, really hard to get the world in general to call me EJ (middle name is actually Jae. Cool, for the mid-70s, I guess). It didn't stick. There's one person in my life who calls me EJ to this day, and I call her Sissy even though her name is Diane.  EJ is ok, but like I said, it didn't stick.
VonSis wasn't down with either Yvonne (fyi, pronounced EEEEE-von, and do not fuck it up, or I will killz you) or EJ.  She had her own mind, even at 1 1/2 years old.
She decided on Vonnie.
And it stuck.
From birth to mid high school. I was Vonnie to just about everyone. Even the places I worked.  The Girl Scouts of Chicago organization only knows me as Vonnie.
Yes, I have corrected about nine million people that No, my name is not Bonnie. It's Vonnie. But it became second nature, like breathing.

There started to be variations, after a while: Vonster Monster, Y-von (pronounced Why-von), Y, you get the drill.

Eventually, I met Shannon. She doesn't really like nicknames, and she had a best friend growing up named Yvonne, so I started the slippery slope back to my "given name".
But I was uncomfortable in this Yvonne-skin. 
Yvonne is me at work, when networking, when working at Old Town. Yvonne is very serious and task driven.
Yvonne is NOT me, at least not 100% of the time.

Then I met SIL1X, who has nicknames for just about everyone in her life.  Sure, who she met was Vonnie, but who she named was Von. 
I LOVED Von, pretty much more than I've ever loved a name I'd been given (ok, except for "Tuesday Night", but that's another story for another time).
Von is the social butterfly made of metal. She was a teenage anarchist. She is the music loving, wishing to dye her hair blue to this day, rebel who still owns her black leather motorcycle jacket.  Von, it turns out, is pretty bad ass.
No wonder some people who had been in my life longer than others did not take to Von. Not only did they not take to it, they hated it.  Perhaps Von is not the person they think I am, or want me to be.

So, when I decided to start this whole blogging thing (holy shit, 500 posts ago!), I started thinking about a name.  I didn't want anything trite, lame, bland.
I realized that I am not a still pond.  I am a roiling ocean - ever changing, ever challenging.
As I change, so does my name. As I grow, so does my life.

So there you have it.  I am Von, for now.

And as it is my 500th post - I want to say part of who I am today, mostly the good parts, I thank you all for. Most especially: Jennifer, Mendacious, Zombie, Brando, Becky, BG, K-Unit, Mikey, B4, Snag, Fish, Thunda, my beloved New Zealanders and Mandos. Wicked props to TheMarty and of course Shannon, for showing me this wacky wonderful world of blogging.
Hope you all keep reading, and I'll keep writing.

A GENTLE reminder

Ahem
I NEVER got my Toy Story aliens (THE CLAW!!!) cake last year.
So
Y'all have 48 days to get that done.

Here's a picture, to get your creativity all awhirl.



Just saying

My personal laptop is on the fritz. Again.
Normally this would freak me out, I mean, if I don't buy at least a handful of songs on iTunes, I go through withdrawal.....but anyway.
This time, I took a deep breath
and called my brother.  Both brothers have mad skillz when it comes to anything computer related, but I called the one that has a link up installed on my computer.
"Hi. My computer is broken."
"again"
"Yes, again."
----silence----
"Ok, so it won't connect to the internet, like at all. You fix?"
----silence----
"So, um, can you get into my computer and look around?"
*chuckle* "You don't have internet. So no, I can't get in and look around"
hahahahahaaaa
It would be funny if it wasn't so unfunny
Because he's awesome, he agreed to come over last night and check things out.
After about two hours of messing and digging and digging and restarting and me whining that I was hungry he offered to take it home so he could mess with it when he had time.
Of course I agreed to that.
I also agreed to tag along to dinner with him and his lovely wife. 
Which he paid for.

The point of my boring Friday tale?
See, I spend a lot of time talking about how awesome my friends are, and how much more they are to me than my own family.
And then something like this happens, and I have to say to myself
"Hey, my family is pretty cool sometimes too"

Now go hug a family member or something

Random schtuff

• Yes, blogger, I am aware I have 4 three posts to go before the big 5-0-0. I'm still thinking about that one.
• When it comes to people in general, I am wicked good at dealing with them, when it comes to men I fancy, I have zero clue what I'm doing.
• I CAN survive and stay awake for a 6 + hour drive that begins at midnight after working seven hours and being up all day without a nap.
• I can do the above because Shannon is hilarious, and incredibly easy to talk to, and my best friend.
• I can also survive the car ride when the destination is the North Woods of WI. So so so pretty. Too bad it was such a short trip.
• Sometimes my food allergies and food hang ups (ie, I do not eat ribs or chicken wings simply because I cannot eat meat on the bone. If my teeth hit bone, the meal is over for me) make me very shy and self-conscious.
• New people can be entertaining, but pretension can be annoying.
• New Glarus beer is my favorite beer right now.  Again? Still? Either way, yum.
• I do not like the show "Big Sexy". The girls on it make fun of skinny girls. Not cool, ladies.
• I will always help clean up any mess I made, but will punch someone if I have to clean up a mess I had no part of.
• Playing games is super fun. I don't think I play enough games. I need to start scheduling some game nights or something.  Plus, playing games often leads to fantastic inside jokes - even if you just met someone.
• I fear a man who carries a machete around for fun.
• I cannot go two and a half days without listening to my music, or music I like. Sorry TheMarty and Shannon, I needed it like a drug on the drive home.
• Eight people in a cabin, five men and three women, and only one bathroom. Not a problem. This time.
• I'll be in Boston in eight weeks. Who's counting? I'm counting. Didn't make it out there last year, missing it like a phantom limb.
• L's favorite band is Rush. I know this is a problem for some friends, and a bonus for others. I think it's funny.

And how was your weekend?

Just thinking

I don't watch reality television, pretty much ever.
Sure, I'll admit to recording (dvring?) every episode of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding over the weekend, and staring transfixed at that for hours, but beyond that, I don't do it.
I don't count Food Network shows (Iron Chef, the Best Thing I Ever Ate, Dinner Impossible) as reality tv.
But
I saw a promo that intrigued me.  Some channel is debuting a show called "Big Sexy". I think it's just a few episodes, following some charmingly chubby chicks in some big city, New York, likely.  I think they do or want to work in fashion somehow.  There's like five of them or four.
See how well I pay attention?
What I found interesting in the promo was how one of the women said
"Some people don't get that not all fat chicks want to be thin"
Huh
I could totally be friends with these girls. It appears we are like-minded.
I saw bravo to the network (not sure which one) is going to be airing this show, and double brava to the women in the show. 
I'm all for fat acceptance, and promoting body positive ideas. I hope the show does well. 
No
I won't be watching it, because it's still reality tv.  I believe more in getting out and living my life, rather than sitting on my ass watching other people's lives on tv. 
Plus
My life is WAY more fun and interesting than anything I could watch on tv.

That's what friends are for....

I've got the greatest friends EVER.

You know how I know?

Because they are there for me, at the drop of a hat, every time.

Thought I had plans Friday night, turns out I was wrong. Found out late Thursday night, when L deigned to spend about an hour with me.

Woke up Friday morning in a panic - I was in NO mood to stay home Friday night. That would have been pretty awful, considering my mood lately.

I calmed the F down, and made a quick list in my head.  Texted first person at 7:45 am.
"You free tonight?"
Alas, no.
Texted next person on list at 8:01 am.
"You free tonight?"
8:03am
"Yes I am!!"
Ah, the tricycle of awesome is truly awesome.
Shannon got us a reservation at Hearty Boys Restaurant.  Wow, we had a fantastic meal!! And some good honest conversation, which I needed. And some drinks. I'm SO off the wagon.

Saturday was Toni's big 4-0 birthday dinner.  Spent a perfect evening at Old Oak Tap. So good. Good food, good company.  Sure, L didn't show up like he had said he would, but I didn't let it ruin my evening.

Sunday, the first person I texted on Friday texted me.....
"What are you doing today?"
My response was that I had to work at Old Town at 5, but was free before then. 
Her response:
"Come over at 3 for fried chicken!"
As in, homemade fried chicken.
Ended up having a fantastic dinner with four people that I really love spending time with.  It was a shame I had to leave so soon, but it was still a blast!

Got to Old Town right on time, and immediately fell into massive crush mode with the entire band Mountain Heart.
They were fantastic, adorable, talented, did I mention adorable, fun.... I highly recommend you check them out. Whole lotta fun. And adorable.

So, while I remain disappointed in the L situation, I'm more than making the best of it.  It helps when you have the greatest friends in the world.

Evil iPod

My iPod is with me today, and on shuffle.
And it's totally messing with my heart feelings this afternoon.
After a calm morning of some good tunes, it's now gone all 666 on my little ticker.

First:
"Lips of an Angel" by Hinder
then:
"Everthing Changes" by Stained
followed by:
"Let it Happen" by Jimmy Eat World
and then:
"You and I Both" by Jason Mraz

Fucking hell, iPod, do you want me jumping out a window?
I'm trying to get some man problems OUT of my head, not dwell on them!
Music - it can fuck me up like nothing else.

Yet, I never turn it off.......

Deleted

I totally had to delete the last post posted.

It was crap.

Yep, still breathing

Just realized it's been a while since I've posted, and I've got my own rules about these things, so I'm past due to type at you.

I am, as the title suggests, still breathing.  Health-wise everything is pretty good. Down to physical therapy once a week for the busted ankle, and no new aches, pains or illlnesses.

Otherwise, not so awesome.  I have a bad feeling about the guy thing that has been going on for the past month or so.  And I know to trust my bad feelings.  So, I wait for the other shoe to drop, or the blow off to occur, or whatever.  I had spent the first two weeks of this "thing" happily ensconced in "whatever land" where I would be ok either way.  The second two weeks I dared to hope for more/better, and it's looking like that didn't do me any good.
So, I'm working my way back to whatever land. It's not going well.
Damn me for being such a thinker.

Doesn't help that I'm on the wagon, and intend to stay firmly on said wagon until the end of September. I'm telling you, if anyone needs a drink right about now, it's ME.

I did survive/do ok at my first show actually Working at Old Town in my new jobby.  Admittedly I was terrified extremely nervous through most of the evening, but I got through it without having to ask too many questions, and I was able to complete my checklist for the show, so I count that as a win.  Two weeks before my next show, but I don't think I'll forget too much.

Work work is good. Things are steady busy, which provides some distraction from my ever-churning brain.

Chicago has the shittiest radio stations on the planet. Consider this today's public service announcement. 

The return of Fun Friday

I was just told the best thing ever, courtesy of TheMarty:

You are a social butterfly. Made of metal.

This is going to be my new motto/descriptor.

So - minions friendz:

What is the best compliment or description of you have you heard?

yes, I'm going schmoopy mushy for the day. Don't get used to it!

Nothing

So, I just typed and deleted and then typed and deleted and then typed and deleted some more.

I'm feeling extra bitchy snarky today, but am not interested in burning any bridges today.

So, you get nothing.

Because I'm feeling a little too mean and evil, even for me.

Go ahead and laugh......

......just know that I can punch. Hard.

I went to see Night Ranger, Foreigner, and Journey on Saturday.
And of course, because I'm me, there's so much more to this story!!

My friend S had purchased the tickets, so I just assumed I'd be making the 90+ minute trek out to the burbs with her.
HA
Not the plan.
S was on vacation until Saturday, and her plan was to meet us there.
Us being me, and her barely friend and his friend.
So, I ended up having to ride out to Tinley Park with two complete strangers. 
NO
I didn't think they were going to kill me when the plan was formulated.  I didn't think anything of it until other people in my life started to freak out about it, thus freaking ME out.
Clearly, I am not dead.
AND
Me being me, they found me to be wonderful, delightful, charming company - or so they kept saying over and over and over.

Alas, due to missing our exit (because I am all of those adjectives, and the conversation just flowed!) we also missed Night Ranger.  Who performed a couple of Damn Yankees songs too - it doesn't suck to have lead singers who were in other bands.

I was super girly excited to see Foreigner.  I had forgotten how much I loved them!! Ok, sure, haters, it's not the original singer - but new guy did really well.  I was hoping for Say you Will, but nope.  They encored with a lengthy guitar filled Jukebox Hero.  And yes, they did sing Dirty White Boy.  I'm adding my Foreigner to the iPod tonight. And putting it on repeat.

Admittedly, I was less excited about Journey. New guy? Asian? Young.  And then, little dude started to sing.  If you closed your eyes through the whole set, you could have swore that Steven Perry was up there.  Plus little dude was excited and energetic and a pleasure to watch.  Sure, I sat during their new tunes (yawn), but LEPT out of my seat for every older one. 

Thankfully, S drove me home so I wouldn't have to ride back with the two strangers. Sure, they were fun, but still.....

Go ahead, make your hate haters, just know that I will remember........and I will punch you.

Happy Monday!

Not bad, really, and how are you?

I honestly had no idea it had been almost a full week since my last post. Sorry about that, lords and ladies.
I've been obsessively following SDCC* on twitter, working, twirling my hair, going on dates, doing laundry, etc.

Bad things have happened in this world in the past number of days. 
Is it right to blog about nonsense?
I guess.  I don't even know where to begin on Norway things, and I don't have too much to say on the Winehouse thing.
Ok, just one thing - let's not induct her in the 27 club just yet. She was 27, true, but that's where the connection needs to end, m'kay?

I wasn't even sure I'd post today, but then read a fantastic post over here by my good buddy
and realized that even though I may fear it, the big 5-0-0 fast approaches.  But his post gave me some great ideas.  IwillNOTstealidea IwillNOTstealidea IwillNOTstealidea......

I'm not going to review my weekend for you here today.  I don't want to bore you with that, nor do I want to cat-vaccuum this post to hell by just repeating what I do.

I will say that I'm kinda glad that I have more to think about these days than I have for a while. And by more, I think I mean it in a good way.  We'll see.  I'm just going to chill out and let things play out.  I can't really do much more than that.

I'm 325 pages into the 967 pages of "Clash of Kings". I'm way into it. WAY into it.  The first 100 pages weren't really doing it for me, then something changed and I cannot put it down.

I get to go to see regular Doc for my 6 month check up today.  Can't wait to show her the letter that informed me I had been exposed to Legionnaire's disease while I was in Vegas. Awesome.  No worries, mah frenz, I'm well past the time that symptoms should appear. Better safe than sorry, though, so I'm going to tell the Doc about it. 

I'm more glad than I can say that Shannon and TheMarty are home from their 2 week trip. I missed them, and tweeting/texting back and forth minimally just did not cut it.  Plus, I need a ride across the WI border to get me some New Glarus beer. I'm going to bribe them with gas money and lunch.

Other than that.....life goes on, t.v. gets dvr'ed for a later date, blogs get read and written, the world keeps spinning. And sometimes, when I'm lucky, like today, I'm reminded just how much I adore the song "Let It Be".  I was lucky enough to hear it this morning and just zen out for a bit.  Making the lyrics my theme for the rest of 2011. It can only serve me well, I'm thinking

*San Diego Comic Con - are you fucking kidding me that you didn't know?!?!

So, things don't really suck these days.

I love when people at work ask me:
"Didya have a good weekend?"
Because then I can answer:
"Of course! Have you met me?"

Sure, it makes me sound a little bitchy, but I really do have good weekends, pretty much all the time.  This year's exceptions being when I am sick or injured.

Anyway - so this weekend I:

• Tried chicken and apple sausage. I was sure I would hate it. I didn't. I liked it. Yummy.
• Met up with two friends for some martinis very last minute, but so glad to see them and spend some quality time with normal, caring people.  The friends in my life do not suck.
• Took my coveted photo print thingy I bought from BK (Blue Girl's talented offspring) to a frame shop. Very excited about my background-mat-thingy that is red and matches part of the photo, and the gold washed wood frame that brings out other colors. Pricey to frame, but soooo worth it.  Plus I know someone at the frame shop, so I got a deal. Of course I "knew someone", this is Chicago. Every has either "got a guy" or "knows someone" just about everywhere.
• Painted my finger nails blue. That is how I roll. A shade of blue that also matches the above mentioned photo.
• Spent a very awesome evening with John and Toni and a couple of John's friends. Might be an interesting development coming from that evening. We'll see. "We'll see" is also the theme of the development.  I will surely keep you all posted.  But as of right now, this is all coming at me out of waaaaay the fuck in left field, so I need some time to process it and let it play out.  Once there's something actual to tell, I will!
• Went to bed at 4am on Sunday, and was wide awake at 8:30 am on Sunday. I can still hang.
• Was completely useless on Sunday - to the point that I spent the entire day watching all of my dvr'd shows.  Shit, I watch A LOT of summer t.v. programming.  Help me, I'm turning into my mother on that front.
• Purchased all of the ingredients for a dinner meal dish thingy that I would like to make and eat. Then, the temperature went way way way up, so no cooking in my house for this week. But I'm excited to try to cook something, and will do so as soon as it's ok for me to use the oven/stove top whatever!

Easy peasy

Easiest way to delay 500th post?
Don't post.
he hehheheheeehee.

Sorry, kids, I've got nothing.
Work is kicking my ass this week, and doesn't really allow for play time.

Huh, look at that.

I'm 15 posts away from #500.
Shocked and awed that I'm approaching that number.

What do you want to read about in the big 5 0 0 ?

Ask and you may receive.....

Mish mosh

• When I got to work this morning, something awesome was waiting for me. And I do not mean the Tiffany & Co playing cards I got from my boss.  I received a picture I had begged for. BG's offspring has a knack for photography, and I've fallen in like with many of the pictures he's taken.  So much so that I purchased one. And it's here! And it's fantastic! And I cannot wait to frame it and hang it in my living room. So cool.  It reminds me that if had never started this b.s. I call VFN, I wouldn't have all of you endearing, interesting, fantastic people in my life.  I heart you all, muchly.*
• My weekend working Folk & Roots kicked my ass. I took a personal day yesterday to sleep in, do laundry, get some things in order.  I was lucky enough to spend some time with Sil1x, and also with delightful God-daughter and family.  It was a great, if hot and humid, weekend, and a good day off.  I'm still tired, and my ankle is screaming at me, but whatever.
• Why, yes readers, we are going to ignore the fact I made a slight change last week. **I smile brightly at you**
• I don't understand why every time I'm in a party-party drinking situation (aka Sunday night at F&R), I get chatted up by the hot preppy guys. WTF.  Clearly, they will not be taking me home or asking for my digits, but for some reason I'm the go to girl to chat up. Upon reflection, I realize that this happens to me All The Time.  Again, I have to say, WTF?
• I fear my book club is in danger. The same club that I have kept running for two and 1/2 years so far. I might have to go tough love on the current planner. If she does not plan a meeting soon for the awful crap she made us read, I'm moving on to the next book with no meeting. No one fucks up my book club.  The book, "Jimmie Hendrix turns 80" we started reading in the end of May. It's time for a meeting!!!
• I started physical therapy with my Chiropractor yesterday for my ankle. He's fixed my foot and worked on my knees, so I figured I'd give him a shot at the ankle.  He's got a lot of work cut out for him, as I waited too long to go to him, but he's up to the challenge!! He started yesterday. Of course today my ankle hurts, but it's always that way at first, plus I did a lot of walking for the fest all weekend.  I just want to be better and move on!  He said I have at least 12 appointments ahead of me.  He's the boss!
• I'm obsessed with "Falling Skies".  If you aren't watching it, you should be.  Thanks to TheMarty for making me watch the first few episodes when we were in Michigan.

*Thank you, Mikey, for checking on me this weekend. You don't know how much I appreciate it. You're the best.

Yes, Michigan

Man, I sure would love to tell you all about happy Michigan fun times.
But I'm pretty sure that a detailed recapping is not allowed.
It's a what happens in Michigan stays in Michigan, even when it happens in Indiana kind of thing.
But maybe I can share some highlights without getting removed from the tricycle of awesome.
Let's see:

• The sunrise sampler is truly the best value at Cracker Barrel, so why get anything else?
• The staff at the Steak n' Shake in Elkhart Indiana are not only super-de-duper nice, but also they are all cute as buttons. The kind of people I have to make faces at, just because.
• Seeing a movie when it's just you and your friends is really awesome. Even if the movie was XMen First Class and you wanted to see Transformers 3 but whatever.
• Freedom drinks are delicious.  When you drink them out of a straw, you get knocked on your ass by the very first one, in about 30 seconds.
• Shannon's freedom drink is stronger than anyone else's freedom drink.
• TheMarty prefers that his freedom drink be made with "the good stuff", and not the juice that tastes "like ass".
• When freedom drink is laughed into my lungs, it's not awesome. Nor tasty.
• Shannon's college bound cousin Clare is now the streamers on the tricycle. Because really, what good is tricycle with no streamers?
• Hodor makes a sub-par rescue word. When spoken it only gets a chuckle in response, and no actual rescuing.
• The game Ticket to Ride is super awesome, especially when I win.
• So is Uno, but only when I win.
• Spicy farcle is not, because I never win.
• When the weather man says 30% chance of rain two days in a row, he really means 0% one day and 100% the other. Good luck figuring out which.
• Awesome Chicago storms only happen when I am not in Chicago, apparently.
• Someone I know is nowhere cool enough to be asexual. This is a fact.
• Creepy old men are everywhere. EVERYWHERE
• When playing catch phrase, and the clue is "Von needs one of these......" the answer is NOT "breast implant"

I don't think I can give you anymore than that. 

Thanks for nothing, John Hughes and Winnie Holzman

I've been reading this book. It's a collection of essays inspired by John Hughes films.  I've also been watching My So-Called Life reruns on Sundance.
And I had a revelation.
No wonder I'm fucking single.

John Hughes and Winnie Holzman ruined romance for me at a very young age.  And continue to ruin me.  If I'm flipping through the channels and I come across any John Hughes film (ok, except The Great Outdoors, I don't like that one) I stop and watch and sigh and cry.

And, oh my, My So-Called Life - how much was I like Angela Chase? I think I still AM like Angela Chase.  I do have trouble wrapping my head around Jordan Catalano being the same dude who now has a pink mo-hawk and fronts one of my favorite bands, but whatever. 

I just wanted the MSCL episode where Angela and Ricky go to Jordan's band practice and she thinks the song he is singing he wrote for her.  Double sigh.  I can't tell you how many band practices I went to, just to be in the same building as the boy I liked, and hoped and prayed that the special meaning I inferred from the lyrics were true.  Thankfully, I don't do that anymore.  Yes, I still know a few bands, and I'm sure they do practice somewhere, but I think it would be pretty pathetic of me to hang out there and flip my hair and sigh.  But still - that episode had my stomach turning - in nostalgia and bittersweet ness.

One of the essays I read recently was about Some Kind of Wonderful - which happens to be my favorite John Hughes movie.  I was Watts. In a lot of ways, I AM Watts.  Ok, not thin, and I would never wear my hair that short, but in many other ways.  The essay was all about the high school and college love triangles, or as the song says "You love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody else, you just can't win".  The essay was pretty black and white - the writer wondering if she had paid attention to the ones that loved her if her life would have been different.  Oh, fuck, this could not have hit closer to home.    And I do wonder, often enough, what could have been if I had been paying better attention back then.

I now realize that my Blane, Keith, Jake Ryan, Jordan Catalano, even my Duckie will never ever exist.  There is no guy who will buy me a cake and pick me up in his Porsche on my birthday.  No one will ever tell me he loves me, always to the aching tune of "If you Leave", no one to, while dyslexic, write a song about his car that I will instead pretend is about me.  And no one to ride his bike past my house on a daily basis.  And for all of these delusions of romance, I still have to blame John and Winnie. 

I need to give it all up.  Ok, maybe not the dream of playing the drums like Watts in the opening credits of SKOW, because that's still pretty awesome, but the rest of it.

It may be time to let a real man, faults and all love me for me, and not the me I think is Angela Chase, or Amanda Jones, or Andi, or even Watts.

Vegas, Baby

It's been another whirlwind in this life of mine.
Last week I was in Vegas for my work's annual meeting.  Much like the losers at the Oscars, my position is the same - I'm just happy to be invited.  It is not common at all in the big huge company I work for that coordinators ever get to go to these things.  I have been to every one since I've been here.
This was the first time since I've started that it hasn't been in New York.  It was a crazy, busy, active, exciting, delightful few days.
Here's some of the highlights:

• Saw my first ever Cirque Du Soleil show - we saw Mystere the first night we were there. Lovely. Weird, but lovely.
• Watched all of my team ride the Big Shot - at the top of the Stratosphere hotel. Too cool.
• Had dinner and drinks at the Foundation Room at the House of Blues compliments of Dan Akroyd. Yep, you read that right - Dan Akroyd. Now, go out and get you some Crystal Head vodka, because it's delicious.
• Had cocktails in the Minus 5 ice bar.
• I drank $120 worth of tequila, but because I am me, and turned on the charm, I got them all for free. Now go out and try you some Don Julio 1842 and Sauza Three Generations. Expensive? Yes, but trust me.
• 113 is truly survivable because it's a 'dry heat'.
• and last but not least I RODE IN A HELICOPTER INTO THE GRAND CANYON. We landed IN the Grand Canyon and had drinks and walked around.
• See above - I rode in a fucking helicopter.

And oh yeah, there was a lot of work stuff going on too....

Today I'm taking care of a sunburn, due to the fact that I rode a float in Chicago's Pride parade yesterday. Another once in a lifetime experience! DANK Haus had a float, and I went along for the ride. Sure, I saw a lot of things in the crowd I wish I had never seen, but wow, what a crazy time.*

So, I live, the ankle continues its slow recovery, and it's back to business as usual.
Kinda.
I'm off to MI with Shannon and TheMarty for the annual rest/recovery/Freedom drinks/4th of July trip.  We leave Wednesday afternoon. Not a moment too soon. We'll be back on the 4th.  So, you may not hear from me until after that, but I'll try.

Stay classy.

*Me? Nope, not a lesbian, I'm straight as they come, but I do support the rights of everyone. And Pride parade is a wonderful celebration of all things awesome, unique and diverse.  I was proud to be there. Like one sign I saw said "Gay for a Day" sure, I'd say that was it.

Full moon crazy

This full moon has got me full on crazy.

Last night, I was just mopey and bummed out for no reason. Then I called Shannon, and we laughed and laughed and laughed.  Then I went to bed mopey and bummed.

Today? I'm all giddy and singing and chair dancing*. And happy, and having a good ole time.

Full moons and Scorpios get along about as well as I do with 2011.

The fight with real shoes continues.  Out of seven pairs of real shoes (aka work/dress shoes) only one has fit on my bad foot so far.  And as of Monday I'll be needing to wear real shoes for the week at our annual sales meeting.  Huh, not going so well.



*Jennifer - chair dancing is NOT lap dancing, it's dancing while seated at the desk, in the chair.

Back to decent

Thought you'd all like to know I am at work today sans crutch. Just me and an ace bandage.
And clothes, of course. *

I decided that this past weekend would be the return to my normal way of life, aka Busy.

Friday night, though wicked cold and foggy/drizzly, I went to see the Judds with my sister and nephew.  About two hours before they were picking me up, I found out that we would be meeting them.  mini Squee. I mean, whether you like country music or not, these ladies are Legends. Yes, capital L Legends.  So we line up back stage pre-show, get our talking to - No autographs, only one picture by their photographer, no purses, crutches, etc.....  I got it. I paid attention. Don't want to get tossed pre-photo op.  In walks Naomi and Wynonna.  I actually giggle and clap my hands together. Again - Legends.  Sister, nephew and I opt for a picture with all three of us in it. Minimal chatting, and I go to leave.  I grab my crutch from who I'm pretty sure was Wynonna's daughter, and start to hobble out. I feel someone touching my sleeve. I turn around - it's Naomi "Thanks for coming Sugar!" she says and beams at me. I mumble thanks and get out of there.  We had really awesome seats for the show. Wynonna sang two Elvis songs and one Foreigner song.   I had forgotten what fantastic entertainers they both are.  A good time, overall.

Saturday my ass was up at the crack of dawn for VonParents' neighborhood garage sale.  It's a big deal - the whole neighborhood gets involved. It's crazy.  I made it for about one hour when my ankle said 'F you, lady, that's enough!' and I hobbled back to VonParents' house to relax.  Ran some errands, then worked the Booker T show at Old Town. Which was awesome.  Really awesome.

Sunday I ran many many errands for many hours.  Sunday night is my t.v. night, with both Game of Thrones and The Killing on.  I made a pizza and rested up.

So, a great weekend with my back in the swing of things (for the most part - I do still hobble) and a lot of great great music.


*Dirty birds, I know you went there

New (to me) music Friday

So, this guy sang the national anthem at the White Sox game I went to recently.
And he Blew.My.Mind.
So I went on the ole iTunes and bought an ever-lovin' shit ton of his music.
Because, you see...
He Blows.My.Mind.

If you've already heard of him, that's awesome, and you are way cooler than me.
If not, get thee to the iTunes and buy massive quantities of his songs. You will not be disappointed.

And I have to say - this song? It's just SEXY

And yes, I did break a sweat posting that video.
Happy Friday, bitches.

People I want to beat with my crutch

A mish mash of sorts, just to clear my head.

So, my intern started this week.  A nice girl, a very quiet girl. A girl who over-stated (by a city mile, people) her computer skillz/knowledge.  It's going to be a looooong 10 weeks.
People, please, tell your children - they aren't doing anyone any good by lying on their resume.  I'm going to have to develop the patience of a saint. Today, I just want to beat her with my crutch.

It's 96 here in Chicago. I will not complain about this.  I hate snow, and ice, and winter and blizzards.  I can tolerate 80 at 7am. I work in a/c. I live in a/c. I have cold water, and movie theaters, and frozen fruit. I also have cold beer. Cold New Glarus beer.  The people that are complaining about the heat? I want to beat them with my crutch.  Seriously - if you hate the weather here all the time? Then get the fuck out. We don't want your kind anyway.

The people that do not let me sit on a bench, on the train, or on the bus? I want to beat them with my crutch.

The guy who is causing me stress regarding home improvement 2011 I want to beat with my crutch. This story is still developing -stay tuned.

The "wildings" or "flash mobs" who are attacking people in the neighborhood that I work in.  A) Not cool beating people up for the fuck of it B) Not cool tarnishing the term "flash mob".  I still want to do a flash mob - a fun one, involving dancing or singing or some such thing - and now that'll be all messed up thanks to them.  I want to beat them with my crutch, soundly, for every person they've beat up in recent days/weeks.

The stars of Hangover II I want to beat with my crutch, and I haven't even seen it.  I have no desire to see it. Over Kill.

The makers of Plants vs Zombies I want to beat with my crutch. And the zombies  in the game that I cannot defeat in level 5-3. Love to hate you, PvsZ.

Aaaand scene.
I feel better now.

Beginning to hate the boot.

This weekend is Maifest. One of my favorite weekends of the year, and one of my favorite things to do.
I'm never so cute as when I'm pouring a beer.
Of course, this year, I'm not allowed to be at the fest.
Not that DANK didn't find other things for me to do.
All day sitting down inside things.
I thought I'd be happy to be inside, in the a/c, watching the fest from my seat.
Turns out it's not so awesome.  Sure, I got to finish the book I was reading, and I did get to update teh fb with some witty tidbits to entice people to attend the fest, but other than that it just depressed me further, and I think delayed my recovery a bit.  I've been in the boot all day every day, and not elevating.
I'm not getting up that often, I just think I'm putting in too many boot hours, when I'm working towards getting out of the boot all together.

I really don't want to turn VFN into a big schmoopy whiny thing, so I'll just stop right there.  Here's hoping that I'll be boot free and into a much cooler, much easier to move around in ace bandage this week. Like, tomorrow even.  I'm still going to be using one crutch, just to be safe, but the sooner I can shake the boot, the better.

So, let me live vicariously through you for now. Fill me in on your wild and crazy weekends.
Please.
Now.
No, really.....now.