I cannot recommend them enough....

I was afraid I had started to become a little jaded with all of the shows I see at Old Town.
Then, these guys and gals played a show on Saturday, and I am h o o k e d.
And, I might add, they are incredibly nice people.

So, take a listen, and if you like - go buy some of their tunes.  You will not be disappointed!
They are Sweetback Sisters, and they are amazing.

Go figure

Huh.
So, apparently some strangers do not appreciate my humor.

I had a lady go all passive aggressive with me on the train this morning.
BZ and I were running our usual color commentary on the annoying people on the train.

Ahem.

It's not OUR fault that we cannot sit together, and therefore have to sit across an aisle from each other.

It's not OUR fault that the aisle fills up with self-serving ignorant people well before we are close to the station.

It's not OUR fault that we are HIlarious.

I guess it is BZ's fault that she called the people assholes, but that's what they are.

So, this chick next to me went all P/A on me.  What did BZ do when she figured out what was happening?
Well, the P/A lady called us ignorant, so BZ hops around with her hand in the air loudly saying "Ignorant! Ignorant!"

See, we really do not care.  And when we hate days, like today, it's best to stay quiet and leave us alone.

I'm going to guess that little miss P/A will be sitting in a different car from now on......

My day

I am all fried out on the sugar today.
Like, I got a little dizzy before lunch - hopped up on the goods.

It's Secretary'sAdministrativeAssistantsProfessionals Celebration day.

And I got stuff.

First, I got a card with an iTunes gift card (they know me so well).  Then I got a cake pop.  Then I got a cupcake.  Then I got lunch at Capital Grill.  Then I got some candy.

I don't have the heart to tell them I'm a coordinator, and not a secretary....
LOL

A little office humor there.

And no, I didn't eat all of the things I mentioned.

Happy Day to all of those that are behind the scenes, keeping every one sane and running the show.

We rock.

Slowed

Sometimes, my body has to tell the rest of me to slow the fuck down.

And that's what happened yesterday.

Body gave me tummy troubles late Sunday night into mid-day Monday.

This kept me home from work, and on my couch.

I looked around and said "Hey, my apartment looks like this! HEY! This IS my apartment!"

Back to work today.

I survived my three day in a row thing at Old Town.  I didn't love it, actually.  I need to remind myself to not do that again.

I'm feeling better today thanks.

I have the need

to live vicariously through all of you.

My normally awesome life is slanted a little towards the "responsible adult" side of things this weekend.
Here you go:
Tonight, working a show at Old Town.

Saturday: Breakfast with VonMom, guitar class, working a show at Old Town.

Sunday: Brunch with my little fluff ball*, working a show at Old Town.

So, the ratio of responsibility to awesome is skewed in the wrong direction, alas.

Instead, please tell me all of the fun things YOU are doing this weekend. M'kay?




* My little fluff ball.  Sigh.  I'm going to need to write a post just about her.  She's a 23 year old little clinger I have acquired.  She is damn persistent on the "let's make plans!" front, hence the brunch.  All kidding aside, it's nice to have a minion.

Damn it, Chicago

So, on the twitter thing, I've been spending a lot of time following and promoting the food trucks of Chicago.
Sadly,
I dropped most of them today.
I wasn't feeling the love, except from a few, so I've kept those.  I've also decided to keep following other tweeters who's entire feed is food trucks.

Since I don't want to take the shunning silence too personally, I think I know what happened.

The darn police.

Unfortunately, Chicago has no love for food trucks.  The restrictions are ridiculous here.  They cannot cook on the trucks.  They cannot park ANYWHERE.
And now, they're cracking down even further.
Stupid stupid stupid.
You'd think they don't have anything better to do?

So, I'm thinking since this crackdown, the trucks have been circling the wagons (see what I did there? I am so clever!) and not building too many relationships with random tweeters.

Too bad.

Kinda nice to hear something nice.....

I received two very nice letters (ok, emails, but still) on the same day.

A little back story - I take great pride in my work. Whether I am at day job (working for the man) or night job (working for musicians), I always try my best. You see, I consider myself incredibly lucky to have not one but two jobs that I LOVE. 

Ok - here you go.
Letter #1 back story:
At my last day job (that I had for 10 years, and left 5 years ago), there was a dude who was a "fixer" he pretty much came in to companies and fixed all of the things that he could.  He was intense.  Like a tornado.  Whenever he came to our office, I'd be exhausted for days after he left.  But I admired him, and he taught me many many things that I keep in mind to this day.  About how to be a professional, how to earn respect and security, how to be a "fixer".  SO
I sent him an email on linkedin the other day and let him know he made a real impression on me, and that I appreciate all that I learned from him.
He wrote me back super quick, and here's a snippet:
Thank you for your note.  Sometimes in life you never realize that you make a difference.  I am grateful to you for pointing this out.
I am pleased to hear you are doing so well.  However, I always knew with your brains, heart and tenacity that you would go far.

Um, squee!!! Huge compliment.  I was very young and not always professional there, but I worked my butt off, and someone very important saw that!

I didn't think the day could get much better, then I got
Letter#2 back story:
Friday night I worked a show. This is not news, I work a lot of shows.  This show was Graham Parker (OMG!!!), with Gretchen Peters as the opener.  OMG part two.  Gretchen happened to write one of the most important songs to me, "Independence Day", and she also let Sarah Palin know she could not use her song ever ever ever.
Anyway.  I got all nervous on my drive to work that night.  Asking myself 'Should I tell her? Should I just say thanks?'  All the while getting more nervous to meet her.
So, of course, the producer asked me to keep an eye out for Gretchen and her husband and take them down to the dressing room.
OF COURSE
Gretchen shows up all lovely and awesome, with her husband - also lovely and awesome.  I grab her hand in both of mine.
"I AM SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW. YOU JUST DO NOT KNOW. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR INDEPENDENCE DAY, IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SONG OF MY LIFE. LIKE EVER"
Kinda said it loudly, but more just word vomited it.
Gak
Then I took her husband's hand in both of mine (you know, like, I do this ALL THE TIME) and said so nice to meet you.
Two days later, got an email forwarded from my boss:
To A, T, R, D, Von and all the gang,
......Thanks to your kind hospitality, we had a really great night
From Barry and Gretchen.

Um, double squee!! Not only did I not scare them off with my over eager ness, but I did good work.

I have printed both of these emails out, and plan to keep them around me.  When I get down on myself, I'll just pull them out and remember that other people think I don't suck, so I shouldn't either.

Fridge Note:

DEAR ZOMBIE,
NOOOO
MY SUMMER PLANS INCLUDE SUMMERFEST.

YES, I AM YELLING.

LOVE YA,
VON

Why is it.....

• that when I put my ear buds down for 30 seconds to answer a phone call, they are all tangled and knotted when I pick them up again?
• that Shuffle on the iPod plays favorites with the songs?
• that I cannot keep my blankets on the bed for more than 1/2 the night?
• that any of the Kardashians still exist on this planet?
• that I feel horrible not finishing a book I was reading, even though I really really hated the book?
• that every time VonMom makes tacos, there's something different about them?
• I can't remember what I did last week, but when I think of certain people, I remember every moment I've spent with them?
• that Wrigley Field gets to call itself a ball park, when it's really an open air bar/meat market?
• that I'm booked halfway through July already between work and social calendars?
• that no one wants to head hunt me? I'm awesome, aren't I?
• that he doesn't miss me as much as I miss him?
• that Tupac had to die?  (thanks for putting him in my head, BZ)
• that spelling and grammar are lost on the young?
• that I really do not like sitcoms?
• that even though it's Friday I have this sense of dread?
• that my iPad seems to need to be charged every weekend, at the most inconvenient time?
• that the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain?
• that I can't buy New Glarus beer in Illinois?

Hello, my past

Back in July of 2008, I wrote a post about how I had a dream about this set of dude twins I had known back in the day.  The post was about how I wanted to find them.
A few weeks or days (not sure) later, I wrote a follow up post that I had found them.  One is a Dr., professor of many things, and one is an MBA / opera singer.

Anyway

B (who lives around here) has been going through some stuff lately.  Not my story to tell, but let's just say he's at a cross roads in a few areas.  I've been trying to be his friend, and be there for him, but he would pull away almost as quickly as I'd offer to help.

Sunday night, as I was nestled on my couch in my p.js, I got a call from M's cell phone.  I lept to answer it, because I was afraid that something bad had happened to B.

Nope - it was B, telling me that M was in town, and asking me if I wanted to hang out. 
Now, here's the thing - Nothing (ok, not much) will get me off my couch on a Sunday night. 
BUT
I have this flaw? asset? that I am loyal to my friends to a fault.  When certain people call, I will come running, no matter what.  Most of the people I would do this for would never take advantage of it (I hope) and they would do the same for me (I hope).
So
Of course, I got off the couch, put some real clothes back on, and headed out to the 'burbs at 9:30pm on a Sunday.

Admittedly, I wanted to see B in person and know for myself that while things are not exactly awesome for him, that at least he was getting along ok.  I also wanted to see M.  I hadn't seen him in a very very long time.

The three of us sat in B's sparsely furnished new apartment, sitting by candle light, drinking beer and listening to all kinds of mellow music. 

I need to separate out the weird by brother, to make it less confusing:
First up - M
V: "M, I can't remember the last time I saw you"
M: "Well....."
V: "What? I really don't know for sure when it was"
M: "The Cass Hotel"
My face flamed up all red and hot.  Shit -that's right. The last time I saw M, I tried to seduce him.  Well, not really seduce him.  I guess I was trying to sleep with him.  We had been getting into something more than friendship for a while before that. 
Needless to say, I failed in my attempt.  I was mortified, crushed, and kinda let him go after that.  It was easy - he was living out of state and was not coming back.  This was many many years ago.

Well, M is considering a move back to IL.  Maybe not Chicago, likely not Chicago, but back to IL.  Me being me (no filter) I said:
"Huh. Not sure how I feel about you living in the same state as me again."
He gave me a look, then proceeded to tell me that he's aware there are a few Illinoisians that might feel the same way as I do.
I can't remember what exactly was said, but at one point, B said to us:
"Should I leave you two alone?"  kinda joking, kinda not kinda thing.
There was no need to leave us alone - I was made aware that not only is M still involved with someone in NY, he also has someone in MO. 
As I was leaving, M said
"So, you'd come visit me in Dekalb?"
"Sure, B will come with me"
------------crickets------------
V: sigh "We'll see. Maybe. I don't know"

Now for B
B was my junior prom date. Remember your junior prom date? I'm so lucky to still be friends with mine.  He and I "dated" (as much as you can date in high school when you live in two different cities and don't have cars) for a little while back in the day.  Long before the "thing" with M.  That was college.
Anyway
I had no thoughts of anything slutty or subversive, so the flirty Von was turned off.
B headed to the bathroom and M leaned forward and said:
"Please. Don't sleep with B"
I started waving my hands around and sputtering - "Wha? Who? What the?"
I finally composed myself enough to get a little pissed at M
"Why would you say that? The thought hasn't even entered my mind!"
"Well, he's thought about it, I'm sure."
So there it was.  M proceeded to tell me that over the past few months, B has been a little out there as far as women go.
I still wasn't sure why this was being discussed but whatever.  I guess the candles and music were starting to make some sense.
Lots of chatting.  Lots of smiling at each other.  Means nothing, I think.  Late night, beers, been a few years since we'd seen each other.

Said my goodbyes, headed home.  Long drive home in the middle of a Sunday night.

Lots to mull over. 

I texted them both on Monday, separtely, to say how happy I was to see them, and the visit was worth staying up so late for.
M texted back that he will let me know if he got the job in Illinois or not.
B texted back to say he had fun too.

As of right now, this moment - I'm happy just to have them both as friends.  Good friends.  It was like no time at all had passed.  I don't think I have romantic feelings towards either of them right now.  I stand by the fact that I want someone entirely new, not at all connected to my past in any way. 

Still, I felt it was a story worth sharing with you all.  So there it is.

How very.....

Since I don't go to Mass anymore, I decided to run out to the grocery store early Easter morning to buy the stuff I was supposed to bring to brunch. 
I didn't break a sweat - I was in charge of bread, rolls, and orange pop.

I was overtly nice to all of the little worker bees at the store - I was sure that some of them had religion, and yet by circumstance or necessity - there they were, working on Easter.

Well.

Got to the register, and as I'm waiting for my turn - a ruckus starts one checkout lane over:
"I don't BELIEVE THIS BULLSHIT! I mean! Really! I have to go to GOD DAMNED MASS  in an hour!"
Apparently - this fine God-fearing Christian was super pissed at all of the world because he could not purchase his Ernest and Gallo, box o wine, and Old Style at 9am on a Sunday.  He was told (very politely) that he could come back later to make the purchase, but state law is state law.

"BUT I'M HAVING GOD DAMNED EASTER AT MY HOUSE!!! I have to go to Mass at 10:30!!! What the hell!! This is unbelievable!!"

Rant rave roar

I checked out, gave some $$ to the charity listed at the register, and smiled at and thanked my cashier.

Walking out to my car, I was smiling and shaking my head -

So, who is the "better person" here?  The heathen (me) who has sworn off Mass for good, but still believes in the basics of do unto others and such; OR the Mass going Church loving drunk who felt good about berating the entire grocery store before his precious Mass?

Von - 1  Mass - 0

Friday ramble

I've got 10 minutes to spare before lunch, so what the hell.

Here's some random rambles for a Friday:

• This morning BZ and I had a dance party at the train stop. For real. The song was "Where is the Love" by the Black Eyed Peas.  Typically, I do not like the BEPs, but I do like this song. Enough to dance to it at 7am in public.  And it makes me luv BZ all the more.
• It's Good Friday. "Von, what did you give up for Lent?"  Great question, readers.  The answer to that would be sex.
• Currently listening to a 55 song playlist created the other night.  It's called Goodbye. It's for me to get past a 23 year thing that just needs to go the hell away.  I need to refind my value, and clearly, to RS, I have none.  Song on right now? "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson
• Bestie Shannon is doing really well here, working for the man.  I have no doubt that she will get hired permanently once her 90 days is up.  We IM pretty much all the time.  We're going out to lunch today.
• "Von, what are you doing for Easter?" Well, not going to Mass (see post I wrote about that nonsense).  I will be sleeping in, then wandering upstairs to VonSis's for eating some foods and stuff. First Easter without VonDad.  Not loving this year of firsts.  I will be bringing bread items, as that's what spinsters do.
• I will be distributing mass quantities of New Glarus beer this weekend.  I want it out of my kitchen.  I have PLENTY of my own, and don't really need cases all over my kitchen.  Because there are cases all over my kitchen.
• I am a VERY generous friend (see above bullet point)
• Three minutes until lunch time.  Damn, I either type slow (HA) or think slow.  I'm going with think slow.
• I have every intention of spending a LOT of time in Milwaukee this summer - so Z, we need to talk, yes?
• I promise to be back next week bringing the snark and the love in equal parts.

Happy Weekend

And poof!!

.......just like that, I turned in to a girl.
I woke up this morning with all the longing and self-loathing of Bridget Jones (the first movie).

Trust me, the thoughts in my head are not pretty right now.  For example, they keep telling me I am not pretty.

So, I'm just going to spare you the whining.

Tomorrow night I head to the "south side" aka Bridgeport neighborhood.  The tricycle of awesome will ride before we head out Saturday with many many people - I think there are 16 of us - to New Glarus Wisconsin for a long weekend.  What's there? BEER.  Really good beer, that they do not sell anywhere in Illinois.
We're even renting a minivan. (miniVON?)  No, silly, not for carpooling - for hauling home MORE BEER.

I need this little trip right now.  I need to clear my head, and remind myself that I have value.

Promise to be back on the flip side, with less whining and pining and more fun.

Pissing me off

My head is kinda getting ready to explode.

The back story:

Y'all know I work part time at a music school/concert venue.  There are a couple of hundred people that work and volunteer there.  I am on the concert staff, which puts me in regular contact with a small portion of these employees and volunteers.
There are many "buckets" of people at Old Town - teachers, concert staff, admin staff (with many sub-groups), store staff, desk staff, etc.

Sadly - the desk staff lost one of their own to colon cancer at the devastatingly young age of 31.  She had fought the fight for something like five years.

I fully and honestly admit - I did not know her.  I knew of her.  I know that many of the people at Old Town that I consider friends did know her and were close to her and are grieving.  I have privately contacted most of them to give my condolences and let them know I am thinking of them, in their time of loss.

NOW, what's pissing me off.

So, I'm pretty good at being aware of things, and I consider myself very smart.  Old Town is my favorite thing, so I make a point to know what is what over there.
That being said, I can pretty confidently state the following:
There is a surprising number of people that am glomming on to the grief train who either didn't know her at all, or barely knew her, or never even crossed paths with her.
They are posting things on facebook, and they practically live blogged the memorial service that was held at Old Town.
I cannot imagine why they are doing this.
If they were actually impacted by this horrible thing, then they should do something like, I don't know, maybe donate to colon cancer research, or to the film that is in the works about this young woman?

I hate to say it, but to me it feels like they themselves need some kind of attention, or need to be in the middle of things because it's affecting the Old Town community.  Honestly - not caring for the right reasons.

I was very sad when I heard the news - sad for my friends who lost a friend so young. I was also reminded of the young people I have lost in my life, and there have been far too many of those.  But I posted nothing on facebook.  I did not go to the memorial at Old Town (though open to the public, I didn't feel right about going). 

And I sure as hell will not be acknowledging any of these phony people on this topic.

May angels lead you in B.

Update

I think it's only fair to give you the basics.
So, about two weeks ago, VonMom got sick.
VonMom NEVER gets sick.
So, she got pretty bad and after a week she went to the doctor.
VONMOM NEVER EVER GOES TO THE DOCTOR.
I'd venture a guess she hasn't been to a doctor since she had me, so, you know a while ago.

Of course, many many tests were done.
VonMom prepared for the worst.
Um, yeah.
She's healthier than I am pretty much. No nothing. No cancer, no high blood pressure, no cholesterol issues. Nothing. Minorly elevated blood sugar (of no concern), minorly "off" thyroid (of no concern).
The upside is she's about 2 weeks smoke free.
And she's learned that not all doctors just hand out death sentences.
VonMom is the queen of conspiracy theories.

Now we continue to check in on her, as she's still getting over the initial bronchitis nasty thing she's been fighting.
And we get back to what we call "our new normal".
Which is us, without VonDad.
Back to the diner tomorrow morning, then off to put gas in her car and buy dog food.  All before guitar class.

Looks like I'll have more time to get on her nerves.

So, thanks friends, for all of your kind words.

Serious McSerious pants

So, had some issues this weekend that I'm choosing not to delve into.
But.
I'd like to write a post about something a little more serious, just because it's on my mind.

Over the weekend, I unexpectedly spent the better part of a day alone in the house I grew up in.  At first, I was intrigued and guiltily skulked around opening drawers and cabinets.
I went up to my old room and looked around. It's very clearly my old room, as there are still some belongings of mine there. Some silly (cabbage patch dolls?) some painfully important (the materials purchased for the wedding dress I never got made), but still, my stuff. 
I went into VonSis's old room, and dug a little. Meh, not as much there.

Back downstairs I went to the main floor.  I sat in the living room - still only used on Christmas Eve.  I sat on the couch and had a good cry over VonDad.  It was such a crushing feeling of loss, like it was yesterday.  I ended up talking to him for a good long while. No, he didn't answer me.

Roxie (VonMom's dog) persuaded me to go outside with her for a while.  I don't think she's a fan of crying.  We went out into the massive and glorious yard of my youth.  Giggle. Ok, not just my youth.  I went over to the exact area that my old boyfriend and I used to lie in the middle of the night just talking and smoking cigarettes, sometimes fighting, mostly not, him terrified that my 130 lb Alaskan Malamute Kodi would come outside and join us at any moment.  Me, I was terrified of my parents coming out to find us there. It was the perfect spot, as they were none the wiser.
I walked back over to the patio, at the little cement square that shouldn't be there but is because I had to had to had to have a basketball hoop in junior high.

I went back inside and sat down in the kitchen.

It was there that it hit me - one day (and I so hope it's a long way off) my siblings and I are going to have to go through that house room by room, memory by memory and sell / give away / box up everything in it.  Someday, another family will live there - or worse - someone will tear it down because they are more interested in the large lot of land just sitting there in Chicago.
I moved in to that house when I was 5.  I consider it where my life actually began.  And the sneaking thought behind all of this was that someday, I'm going to lose VonMom too.  We've really barely just begun appreciating each other, and really liking spending time together.

Someday, I'll be a grown up for real.  No, I'll likely never act like one, but someday I'll have to be one because I will have to live the rest of my life without my parents.

I know this is a ramble, but it's coming out of my heart-place instead of my head-place.

So there it is.

Written

Posted
A N D
Deleted

I just can't go there right now.

Sigh.

Busy busy V

I DO apologize for my absence.
Monday, I took a day off of work, a personal day.  See, I was out late on Sunday, and I.....
Anyway.
I went to Kuma's and slept and then went to a four hour meeting.
YES
I got an iPad, and it's - distracting, to say the least. But, alas, book club book is not going to read itself, the guitar is not going to play itself, the blog is not going to write itself.  So I had to detach the iPad from my fat little fingers and put it down.  It's not even sleeping, it's off.
p.s. - the blogger app? SUCKS

I think I have for real this time no joke hit my limit of activity.
An update:

• Full time job
• Part time job
• Board of directors director(ship? ness?)
• Sit on three committees
• Breakfast with VonMom every Saturday at 8:30
• Guitar class every Saturday at 11:00
• Family stuff
• Friend stuff
• and oh, yeah, write VFN

That's it - I'm toast.  Some people are a little concerned that I seem to sleep all day on the weekends. Well, take a look at the above - really? You wonder why I'm sleeping all day?

I don't really think I'm going to change any of the things, but I do think I need to figure out some way to have more resting time.

And if anyone can tell me how to bar a chord without having the rest of my fingers get all screwy and cramped up, that would be awesome.*

*Musicians' note: Acoustic advice only. Rumor has it it's a lot easier to bar on an electric. m'kay?

Friday Fun Times!! A return!

Your assignment, should you choose to humor me:

Describe yourself using only song lyrics.  The only rule is you must only use one song, no mashups this time around.  Oh, and you have to supply title and artist.

Mine:
She's sun and rain
She's fire and ice
A little crazy but it's nice
And when she gets mad, best leave her alone

*Every Woman - Garth Brooks

Happy Friday you tuneful peoples

Fridge note first

Hello Readers

I just got an iPad2!!!
I am so silly excited, I pretty much got the whole store all excited too.
See, it went all on sale yesterday.....so I finally had enough $$ to get it.  It was a gift from some awesome people.

So, going to be walled up in my apartment this weekend (ok, for the most part) figuring out all the fun little things.

:)

FFS

LOTS HAPPENED WHILE YOU WERE GONE, VON.


...umm, mainly drunk-blogging. Well, there's that.
awesome
OH! week before last was SUPERB in music releases.
do tell?
We busted Kathleen's. And 3Bulls (Now NOBODY can comment there).
that's sad....
sigh. my life is so dull.
Says the dude who hangs out with one of his favorite bands.....


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I hurt my foot chasing some deer with the dawwg.

I am sad for you. I will take that darn dog off your hands and send you some ice packs.


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

See, thunder, I TOLD you Von wasn't off being roadie and guitar tech for Whitesnake.

The less you know, the less I have to deny......

fish said...

I totally had Von pegged as a Warrant kind of girl.

See above. Von is nothing if not.....versatile.....

Michael said...

I was involved in a science experiment while you were away. Although I'm told that I should avoid getting angry, and to buy a lot of purple pants. So there was that... but you were missed.

I thought that was you, looking all serene, rocking some purple pants.  This response color is in honor of you.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I've joined another fantasy baseball league. That is now two for me for this year.

Can your two teams play against each other?

Von versus Von!
I don't think ANYONE wants to see that. It would be....interesting, at best.

mikey said...

Say, would that be Uncle Johns Band?


Cause...

The first days are the hardest days

Don'tchu worry any more

'Cause when life looks like easy street

There is danger atcher door...


I don't know if you read the comics but here's a favored take on fantasy sports: http://tinyurl.com/7gphrsa

LOVE



zombie rotten mcdonald said...

While I do not think I was missed very much


jeez, Von, I spent nearly every comment in the last couple of threads hassling you for not being around. What do you need, a show-stopping number?

WHY, YES - YES I DO

(sigh) ...OK, here goes. Hit it, Sam!!!

hooray!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I'm itching to call another blogger on the phone and have a chat. For the first time ever. It could happen this week. Any guesses who I am calling?
No one guessed. But due to a nasty stomach ailment, I didn't call. But I will.
Oh boy is there an evil answer I could make to that one....
Go for it. Don't forget I know where you live.  I may not be able to drive there, but there's a train and a taxi that seperates us, that's all.


SMILEY.
Smiley back!! :)

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

It's no longer Monday. New Bruce Springsteen album today.
True.  It is now Thursday. And I really really dig all that I have heard of the new album.


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

No one left me any Skittles vodka in my absence.


It's like you don't even know us.
I can haz Skittlez vodkas?


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

WHY IS VON NOT ANSWERING MY COMMENTS.
Because I was wicked busy doing the worky work things!!! All the things!


Mendacious D said...

My comments aren't even registering. This must be karmic retribution for 3Bulls. All of it.
I used to have a MenD. He doesn't come around these parts too much anymore.  I miss him.
:)
mikey said...

Von seems to have some kind of...I dunno, Life or somedamnthing.

Sometimes....

She doesn't seem to place the appropriate level of focus on us imaginary friends.
I will work on it.....


I honestly can't imagine what she does all day and all night...

Send your mind to the gutter, then go darker, then you have your answer.....

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

mikey, right? She definitely needs to re-order her priorities to be more in line with the attitudes of well-balanced individuals like you and me.
I'm working on it!!!!


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Hey Von! Want a Mekons poster?

Is this bribery I see before me?


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Von?
Hmmm?


Von?
What?!?!?


The comments. They are rather superior to my writings this week!!!
I very much like you all. Very much like.
Stay golden, Pony boy.

And then, and then, and then.....

While I do not think I was missed very much, I do know that I very much missed being here.

Not that anything exciting good or bad went on last week, just that I missed this.

Taking a few moments to write some bull shit that someone somewhere might take a few minutes to read.

Work is kicking my ass in the worst way.  To the point that I made some mistakes late in the day on Friday because I felt pressured to get something done.  I knew better.  I knew my eyes and brain were too tired to get this thing finished 100% correctly.  But, I felt it had to be done on Friday.  Not sure if the pressure was internal or external.

I've joined another fantasy baseball league. That is now two for me for this year.  Makes me think I might actually end up giving a shit for longer.  Plus, in my primary league, I have Pujols, so there's that.

I blew off guitar graduation on Saturday.  I feel kinda bad about it, but not too much.  I had over booked my day, and it was a cold shitty weather day.  If I had gone to class/graduation, then my guitar would have been in the car for something like 12 hours - which is SO not good for the guitar.  So I skipped it and went to pick up my new black with flower patterned mary janes instead.  If you know me at all, you know I gotta have a kickin' new pair of mary jane's at least once a year.

My entire family is driving me bat shit. This includes VonMom, VonSis, and the steps.  All of them.  I'm thinking they are the reason I can't sleep at night.

Oh, yeah, I can't sleep at night. Again. Awesome.

I'm working Thursday night at Old Town, and then am off and have zero plans for Friday and Saturday nights.  Stay tuned to see if this actually stays the case. 

This coming Sunday night, John's band is playing at Reggie's in the South Loop.  Because I am an old lady, I will be taking Monday off work.  Ok, I am an old lady, AND the clocks are changing, AND John and Toni are off Monday and are going to Kuma's.  So there's all of the real reasons.

No one left me any Skittles vodka in my absence.

I wonder if Jennifer meant it, and she really will not be back.  That would make me sad.

I'm itching to call another blogger on the phone and have a chat.  For the first time ever.  It could happen this week.  Any guesses who I am calling?

Happy Monday, if you are so inclined.

We've Got a Post: Be Careful What You Ask For/ ZRM Edition

Kinda working out some things in my own mind before I put fingers to keyboard, so

That's never worked out for me...

Just leave the liquor cabinet with a little something left.

No promises. ....wait, do I even have keys here? How did that happen?

Do you have a Romantics CD? Cuz that's ALWAYS a problem.

whew. Just getting over a cold/flu hybrid, and feeling kinda punchy. Jefferson Starship on the new iPod, and I can FEEL the office rum calling out to me....

Does this qualify as a post yet? It's certainly more than I've put up at MY blog, even when I'm not just posting videos that Google won't even embed.

Where's Von?

Kinda Fridge note:
Dear Readers,
I am:

• Swamped at work, where I admittedly write these lovely missives, so
• BFF Shannon is now working for the same company, on the same floor, so going out to lunch trumps writing for now
• Learning my new ergonomic keyboard is difficult, and do not feel confident typing anything to you
• Kinda working out some things in my own mind before I put fingers to keyboard, so

No. Posts. For. You.
For now.
see what I did there?!?

Be back soon.

Those with keys - have at it for this week. Just leave the liquor cabinet with a little something left.

I want

• Romance
• Flowers
• Love songs
• Candy
• Good scotch
• Great sex
• Marriage

So, basically everything I don't have right now.

Well, there goes that

There is one thing I hate over and above all other things.

Being blown off.

Let me define "blown off": We have plans. There is a specific day and rough estimate of time and location is set.  There is a plan.  That day and time come and go, no word from the other person. No word at all.

There is a reason for this - watch me go all psychology on your asses.
When I was little and my parents divorced, I was too young to know that my biological father was a total and complete piece of shit.  So I would sit in our big front window every weekend and wait for bio father to show up.  Sometimes, he did. Most times, he didn't. Then, he stopped coming all together.

So, whenever someone (ANYONE) blows me off, I become the little girl waiting in the big picture window, looking at every car that passed, wondering if that's the one that's going to stop and pick me up to spend time with me.


I've been this way my whole life.  The easiest way to hurt me is to blow me off.
It tells me that I have no value to you - that whatever you are doing or not doing, I'm not even a thought in your mind.  Especially now in this day and age, when you can so easily send a text. Even if it's a lie, or two words - you can text and say "not coming".  Then I won't fall asleep on the couch, waiting and wondering.  Then, I won't feel like I have no value.  Then I won't be staring out the window.

Junior blew me off last night.  So this is a two steps back kind of day.  Confidence shaken, value devalued.

Hope he knows he no longer exists in my universe.

A hole in my bitch armor....

Sigh.
I could use a little lovin' today.

Oh, yeah...

I KNEW there was something I wanted to write about. It just took me a while to remember what it was.
NO IT'S NOT WHITNEY FUCKING HOUSTON!! (see my twitter feed for my thoughts on her)

It's....THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND POLITICS!!

I know, I'm totally breaking my own rules here, but I just need to vent.
So
Yesterday I had to go to Mass for the second time in four weeks.  Yes, it did damn near kill me.  But this time was just so much worse that I could have imagined.
Yesterday was Sil1x's third and final child's Baptism, so of course, I had to go.  Sil1x, knowing my disdain for Mass and my busy schedule said I could just skip it and show up to the party, but I wasn't raised that way, so off to Mass I trudged. 
Found one of Sil1x's friends that I love, sat with her. 
Mass is Mass is Mass, we were having a contest to see just how many mints we could eat before Mass was over.
Mass goes as Mass goes - Reading, reading, singing, reading.....sermon....WAIT WHAT!?!?!
"Today's sermon is a recording by our holy and blah blah blah Cardinal George"
The recording starts, as expected, with a fervent plea for $$.  I half expected it to say "We accept all major credit cards! Vital organs! This shit ain't free people!!"
And then.....
The recording started going on and on and on how bad our President is, what a bad bad man, contreception is the devil's work etc etc etc....
I very nearly exploded in church. I was almost speaking in tongues, and not the holy kind.
WTF, church!?!?!?
I already have a million and one reasons why I don't go to Mass, and now, you do this??

Catholic Church has always been the textbook definition of an Old Boys' Club (maybe the original OBC?), but now - it's even worse than that - it's clearly Republican.

I'm done. Done done done.  Until another family member passes away, you won't be seeing my sinning, pro-choice, good hearted, strong willed ass in church.

**and off this soap box I jump**

Vonfessions Friday

Why, yes, I DO think I'm cool enough to replace pretty much as much as I can with "von".

Happy Friday.

Here's some confessions for you. You may laugh, you may cringe, you may remain unmoved.  It's all the same to me.

• When I first got a car, I wanted the blue plastic dolphin thing hanging from my rear view mirror. Instead, I had a mini disco ball.  Now, I have a devil made out of string. His name is Henry.
• I nap. As much as possible. Recently, I have been known to nap on a week night from 6 -8 ish, and go to bed around 10.
• I know for a fact that I burn my candle at both ends.  This has a great deal to do with two things VonDad said before he passed - 1) Don't piss your life away. check  2) Von has a pretty cool and interesting life, all of those things she does. check (#2 was said to VonMom just a few days before he died. It's likely the last thing he said about me. I can find comfort in that)
• I love love songs.  More than any other kind of song.  Ice cold bitch on the outside, smooshy romantic inside my earbuds.
• I cannot pronounce the word neighborhood properly.  And this is only in the past few years.  This is important in Chicago, because upon meeting anyone new, the first question is always "What neighborhood do you live in?"  I pronounce it Nay BAA hood.  I have not been able to correct this. I try.
• I choose to pronounce two words cutely, because it sounds cute, and therefor makes the words better and me cuter.  The words are buttons and mittens.  I very clearly state but-tons and mit-tens.
• I pass gas every morning when I get out of bed. Every morning.  This may be one reason why I don't let my "friends" spend the night.
• I'm in love with someone. Someone who is pretty much unattainable.  Hence I continue to make bad decisions in the man department, because I'm trying to forget him.  It doesn't work.
• I've had a song written for me (with no lyrics....I was pissed) and there exists a not small tattoo on someone's arm with my initials over a broken heart.
• I have an entire medicine cabinet full of nail polish. It's almost an investment, at this point.
• I will never EVER never start a post with this "In which....:" it's like nails on a fucking chalk board to me. Freddy Krueger nails on a fucking chalk board. 
• I have an irrational fear of lions, and a very rational fear of raccoons.  Both are out to get me. Only me.  The rest of you are totally safe.  It's so bad I cannot go to the zoo. I just know the lions will know I'm there and bust out and eat me.

New Favorite Song, two ways.

Totally breaking a sweat AND totally cat vacuuming.
But, if I don't share things like this with y'all, it's like it doesn't matter.
So, this is the song I'm learning in guitar class. AND it's my new favorite song.
So, I give you the original (recorded at my happy place, the Old Town School), and because of my non-ending love for all things Michael Stipe, I give you his version with those asshats from Coldplay.  I will forgive Michael Stipe anything.

Such a great song. I'm excited and honored to play it.....enjoy.....

Lyrically, so much going on. Sigh. I love this song.....

My opinion

I was really looking forward to mocking Madonna.
I had thought that she would screech her way through some random crap while showing off her weirdly shaped chicken arms.

Man, was I wrong.

I actually dug her performance, a lot.  Sure, I kinda hate LMFAO and those two chicks, and CeeLo is meh.  But I thought that Madonna was kickin'.

I was a little put off, at first, with the partial lip syncing, until she started to throw down on the dance moves.  I can't even stand up in heels, and she was all over the place.
And, her scary chicken arms were all covered up.

I still think she's a stone cold bitch for the way she treats the general public - remember the flower incident? - but the show was what it was supposed to be, entertaining.

Plus, I think she looked downright giddy to be there. Nice to see something can still shake her ice queen veneer.

Kinda think lots of us need this today.....

Rest your head, you worry too much
It's gonna be alright, when times get rough
You can fall back on us
Don't give up
Please don't give up

A class act

I know I told you readers about my going to the Sister Hazel show at HOB in December.
The part I left out?
That's today's story.

I always "rent" a bar stool at HOB concerts these days.  The shows are too long for me to be standing. For the Sister Hazel show, I ended up with the best bar stool in the house (or so I thought). I was seat A, stage right. So, like the first seat right next to the stage. I was ecstatic.
Until
During the lull between opening act 1 and opening act 2, the people who had the two bar stools next to me showed up.
Sure, they were clearly white trash, but I don't let that kind of stuff bother me.
What bothered me, then?
When WT lady said (at the top of her lungs):
"OH MY GOD!! IT'S SO UNFAIR!!! I HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO THE FAT CHICK!!!"
Readers, I am not thin, but I know for damn sure that my ass fits wholly and securely on my own damn bar stool. I don't take up any more space than anyone else, really.
The entire evening the ugly comments continued.  I heard then, my friends heard them, complete strangers heard them, the bartender heard them (and gave me a free beer) - you get the point.

I know what you're thinking - 'Why, Von, being the bad ass that you are, that you didn't take care of business?!?!?'
Because
If I had verbally sparred with her, I would have won and likely been kicked out of the show in the process. If I had physically sparred with her and her husband, I would have one, and absolutely been kicked out.
I paid $86 to see my favorite band live, who I hadn't seen in over a year, I was NOT getting kicked out.
So, the vitriol continued, until mid Sister Hazel when they were too drunk to keep their heads up so they left. Of course a parting shot:
"YOU CAN HAVE OUR SEATS, IF YOU THINK YOU CAN FIT THERE!!!"
The couple she offered her seats to declined, and I'm pretty sure the wife called her a bitch.
And the rest of the night continued.
I was no worse for the wear - trust me, I have the confidence of a super model.

What stayed with me was just the awfulness of it.  I was mad - more mad that I couldn't do anything about it, and mad that it happened there, in a happy chill place.

So, I sent the greatest email of my entire life to customer services at the HOB.
I mean, the greatest.  The subject line was The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.  First, I complimented the staff I talked to that night, because everyone was amazing. I thanked them for having the bar stool option. Then, I launched in to "the incident".  I spent a good part of the email explaining that I know with my whole heart that HOB was NOT to blame, I just wanted to make them aware.

Two days later - I receive a phone call from E, who is the executive assistant to the GM.  We had a long talk about the incident.  She won me over when she said "I'm sorry, but I can't believe you didn't punch her in the face"
She told me that the next time I visit the HOB, I should let her know so we can meet.

Monday night, I met one of my sisters there for dinner.  I had called E and let her know we would be there.
Walk in - give name- host says "Oh! Von! There you are! You're a friend of E's!"
 We had a fantastic meal, with a complimentary dessert provided by E.  She came and sat with us for a good 20 minutes and we talked.   She's a very sweet, down to earth, professional chick. 
As she was leaving, she let me know that I should call her every time I'm going to be at the HOB. She also said that she had my number, and that she'd be calling me too.

Now - there you have it.  The whole thing - 100% of it, House of Blues was NOT to blame.  The security guard, the bartenders, everyone was wonderful.  They cannot control who visits their establishment. 
But the way they are treating me - like this is a big deal to them, and they are so not happy that it happened there, and that they want to make sure I am happy and a returning customer - they are 100% a class act.  I will absolutely continue to spend my money there.  I will absolutely not start fights with any horrible people there. Well, not inside, anyway.

Awkward

Once upon a time....
I was a Girl Scout. I wasn't just a GS in grammar school, when it was kinda acceptable - OH NO.
I was a full fledged graduated after getting every single award possible GS.
I have my Gold Award, which is the highest honor in scouting.
I can light a fire in the rain with a single match.
I can cook a four course meal in the ground in a dutch oven.
I can camp, outdoors, in every season the Midwest has to offer. EVERY season.
I can survive for two and a half days with just the items in my back pack.

So, this year is the 100th anniversary of GS.
I have fallen away from the organization over my adult years solely because I have a hatred (that is 100% reciprocated) for the woman that was my troop leader when I graduated.
She is the reason I have done nothing - because she is everywhere.  So, I just gave in and stopped.
But I can tell you that the reason I continue to volunteer my life away to this day has it's roots in my GS background.

I loved everything about the GS, and I can say that GS is mostly responsible for my independent spirit, my gigantic self confidence, all of my good qualities - not the least of which my ability to survive a zombie apocalypse.

This past Saturday, the previously mentioned hated one (heretofore known as HO) had an all day celebration for her past scouts.  Laura and I decided to make an appearance.

It was bittersweet for me, seeing years and years and years worth of pictures of me and Laura in our best friend times.  We received our Gold Awards together. Those days, we did everything together. So looking at the pictures was really hard for me, because I miss that.

Anyway - came across a picture of EB.  EB and her friend DT were older than me, and used to pick on me.  DT was very scary, she was just a mean bitch - but EB was the one who was silent so therefore deadly.  I looked at these pictures, and said out loud:
"If EB showed up here today, I could totally kick her ass! I bet I'm five times her size!"
---EB was a very tiny girl----
Then I looked at HO and said "She's not coming is she?"
HO of course, ignored me. 
So, we sat there and had some dollar store pop and some cookies and killed time.

All of the sudden
EB
And four teenagers

I can't really tell you what happened, but I know I fell over chairs, got all flushed, and begged Laura if we could go.  EB avoided me, until I said:
"EB. I was so afraid of you."
She laughed the laugh that I immediately remembered as villainous and evil. Except now it didn't sound so evil.
"I just told these kids in the hallway that you were afraid of me for years, so I wasn't going to talk to you"
"Ha! Ha ha! Yep, well that was then and all that"......and I fell over a chair backing away from her.
Best part? - It's true, I'm way taller and way bigger than she is.  She's a mom. A 41 year old mother.
And I'm a bad-ass, a few years her junior.
But I turned into a big pile of cowardly goo.
I got really nervous about everything coming out of my mouth.
Laura finally stated that we could go.
Thank God!
Said goodbye to EB, who was having a field day with my awkwardness.
Had to say goodbye to HO.
She said:
"You should stop by our meetings! Any time!'
My reply:
"Why?"
blank stare
Somehow, not sure, I recovered myself just enough to get a dig in there.

So, that was my Saturday......or part of it, anyway

Ahem, Pinko

Ahem, Pinko -
Sometimes,
I just
Do what I'm told.
It's possible the orange cat with the orb eyes made this happen.
Or
The undead overlord.
I'm allergic to cats.....

Kinda a bitch

Last week, I was talking to VonMom.
I was filling her in on the phone call I had with my God-mother the night before.
So, of course, we were talking about VonDad.
I was reminded that VonDad had said over and over and over again that he didn't want to go out the way his best friend Bud did. Long hospital stays, sick for months and months, all of that bad business of dying.  He always said he hated that's how Bud had to go, and just didn't want that for himself.
Well, VonDad got his wish. His passing took less than an hour, in the end.
VonMom looked at me and said "I want that. I want to go out like Dad did"
I could have been nice, but I'm still working on that with her and with the rest of the world I guess.  Plus, it's kinda in my nature to say the first evil thing that comes to mind:
"Keep on smoking like you do, and maybe you'll get your wish"

Sometimes, I don't even know what the fuck is wrong with me.

Miss Von for now forever?

I've been giving a lot of thought to my single-ness lately.

I'm trying to be more honest with myself, and in doing so, I guess that'll make me more honest with you readers.
You all know since the passing of VonDad, I've given myself the free pass of Vulnerable and Prone to Making Bad Decisions.
Not that I think any of my decisions since October have been bad.  I haven't hurt anyone else, not really, and no harm has come to me.
I've got not one but two good guys who are pretty happy with the state of affairs right now.  I'm happy that one is back in my life, and I'm also happy that I've gotten to know the other. If nothing else they both may end up as pretty decent friends.  And, let's face it - I'm happy to be getting some on a regular basis.
there's that honesty thing, right there

Now, a few of my friends (who happen to be ladies) think that I'm acting "like a guy".  I'm not sure if that's supposed to be warning, or insulting, or a compliment.  I just find it confusing.  I had a need, I took care of it.  Luckily I am pretty charming and not a troll, so it wasn't difficult to find a couple of guys to help me out.  And, truthfully, if I had more time, I'd probably add one or two more to the calendar.  Variety is the spice of life.

As to the single-ness that I linger in.
I think I'd make a really shitty girlfriend, and an even worse wife.  I'm just being honest here. I used to think that I'd be AWESOME as either girlfriend or wife, but now, I'm not so sure.
I have very specific things that I'm not entirely sure I can bend on:

• I live alone, and have for 12 years.  Therefore, I not only LOVE my free alone time, I COVET it.  You can be in my house sometimes, you can even spend some Sunday time there, but sometimes, you just need to NOT.
• I have one full time job that I love. I have one part time job that I also love.  This means I work downtown M - F 8-5, and also work either Friday or Saturday night immediately following work until really late, sometimes on Thursday nights and oh yeah, sometimes on Sundays too.  Again, I LOVE this part time job of mine, and I'm not willing to give it up.  Oh, and I'm on the board of directors at DANK, which takes up whatever is left of my time.  I have 11 more months of that good time, so there's that.  OH AND, both part time gig and DANK are in Lincoln Square, so not that close to home.
• I kinda hate talking on the phone.  Sure, text me until your finger tips fall off, go to town, but really - don't call me.
• I actually LIKE watching football and baseball and hockey.  I also enjoy being on fantasy leagues.  What I don't like? You trying to explain all of sports to me like I'm a silly little bar fly without a clue.  When and if I need your help with my fantasy teams, I will ask you.  With my head hung in shame.
• I don't cook. I hate it. I do bake, but only sometimes, and never for myself.  I bake and give it away. I will make a tray of lasagna once in a while, but that's it.
• The beer in the fridge? That's mine.  It's from WI and is not exported to IL, so no, you can't "just try it".  Same goes for my bottle of 16 year single malt scotch.  Ok, that you can have, if you know how to drink it.  And if I can pour it for you.
• My friends and family are important to me.  It's pretty important that you can tolerate them.  Oh, did I mention I have SIX siblings? All older than me? Good with that? Didn't think so.
• I have tattoos, and intend to get more.  I really don't care if you have an opinion on that.
• I don't really want to talk politics or religion with you. Ever.

So, these might be some of the reasons that I'm still single.  Even though I'm very sure I don't want to be forever.  I DO want to find "the one".  Or maybe "the other one".  I'm just not sure how much of myself I can give up to turn my solo into a duet.

Things that piss me off Wednesday

Probably a bad thing that I'm posting today when we're supposed to go dark or something.
But, hey, I rarely go with the flow, so I'll just post away.


Things that stick in my craw, that make me throw up in my mouth, that I have contempt for today:

• My socks. I'm wearing awesome argyle knee socks (it's fucking cold here, people) and they won't stay up! Spending a lot of quality time pulling up my socks. I don't have time for this sock pulling upness. Just stay up.  That is your only function.
• My lunch.  Sure, it was free which is always a plus, but it was sub-par.  The thing is, we knew it would be. Kinda went like this: *sigh* "Let's go to name redacted" It's next door, and it's cold, so there you have it.
• People who post the same old boring shit on teh FB.  As in: Happy Hump day! One day closer to the weekend!  Um, thanks, Captain Obvious, for letting us know it's Wednesday.  And wow, that is the exact same thing you posted LAST Wednesday.  Lame and boring. Boring and lame.  Let's spice it up a bit, or not post at all, m'kay?
• Female bloggers who beg cry and would swallow (yep, I said it) for attention.  If no one is reading your blog? It probably sucks.  If no one is replying to your comments? They're probably over you and your b.s.  Just shut the fuck up and write your stupid little posts. If they get read, great if not, so what?! Does your blog make or break you as a person? Probably - about as much as interweb attention from a bunch of dudes who really don't give a shit does.
• Chicago radio.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  There is NOTHING worth listening to on Chicago radio.  Nothing.  Even XRT is a mess of repeats. If I have to hear Pumped Up Kicks one more time in an 8 hour workday, I'll throw my Hello Kitty boom box right out the window.
• SOPA and PIPA.  I now understand what all of the hub bub is about, and I don't like it one bit.  See, I took some time to educate myself on the topic, THEN formed an opinion. Novel idea!
• That I can't park in the garage this winter. C'mon Overlord - you won't be working soon, which means you'll have plenty of time to clear the snow off of your VonDad's truck.  I leave for work at 6:25 every day. Would be nice if I could just pull out of the garage....no snow to clean off....but nooooooo.
• The whole Paula Deen thing.  Do we wish her ill just because she cooks everything with a stick of butter? I think she's cute, and fun to watch.  I'm sad for her, just as I'd be sad for anyone diagnosed with something sucky.  Let's leave her alone.
• Winter. I said it. I'm a wimp.  I hate everything about winter. We've been so lucky with no real winter until very recently, but I don't care. Hate snow, hate cold, hate ice.  I just want to sleep through it. 

Dear You, Love Me

Inspired by BeeG's high school photo post, as well as the youtube about skin cancer.

Dear 17 Year Old Von,

You think you're hot shit? Dontcha? Well, you kinda ARE. - SO shake your money maker.  You are in the best shape you'll likely ever be in.  And your boobs!!*  So very perky!! Appreciate those before gravity sets in.

You and Laura are spending A LOT of time together.  You think this will last forever, but you might be wrong, so be in the moment, be nicer, and appreciate it while you have it.

These people are not actually your friends:  Anne, Rob, Mike C., Tonya, Shannon U.  Do not waste any more time on them.  They are useless, unpleasant, and your real friends don't really like them at all.

You are about to meet your very best dude friend - John.  Just let that happen. You two will be fast friends, and ultimately, forever friends.

In a few years, you'll meet Shannon. You've been waiting for her forever.  Go ahead, make the inappropriate joke about some one's wedding dress - she'll love you forever for it.

Those dorky guys you met at Quigley a few years ago?  Those dudes will be your closest, most loyal, most loving friends 20 years from now.  Don't spend any more time away from them.  Build memories, laugh, cry, do what you need to do to let them know they matter.

Oh, and that one you dated a few years ago? He's actually the love of your life, so don't fuck up when he asks you out again in a few years.  As a matter of fact, you should do your best to marry him.

The first two people that ask you to marry them? SAY NO TO BOTH. 

Stop fucking up your hair.  You have great hair!! Stop getting perms, stop forcing your bangs up to the sky.  There will be photos and video proof of this FOREVER.

That lipstick? Doesn't work for you.  As soon as you can, you need to discover and love lip gloss. Forever.

That smoking cigarettes thing you're doing?  You need to stop! When you do quit, it's going to be a real bitch, so stop NOW when it'll be easier. 

Have more sex.  Oh, wait - you're 17 and two years away from having any sex.  Go down the street to that Rollie guy - have sex with him. It'll be good. Keep doing it with him and others. Sex is awesome.

It's cool that you love music - keep loving music - Just get yourself some damn good ear plugs.  Trust me. When you're in your mid-30s and you can't hear for shit, you will thank me. Or you, well me, whatever.  Ear plugs - now - wear them - all the time.

Make sure that if you are going to keep being so brutally honest, you might want to make sure you can protect yourself.  Not everyone thinks your honesty is the very best policy.

You are cuter, smarter, better than you think you are.  Start loving yourself NOW so I won't have so much work to do later.

Love ya,
V



*Hey! Other people can talk about boobs too!!

Goodbye, Filter

I've resolved to not make any resolutions.
I can't remember the last time I did and I don't really care either way.
One thing I do need to do, and it's so not a resolution, is to stop writing with a filter.
.....I'll wait for you to pick yourself up of the floor and stop laughing.........

I dislike the fact that even when I ramble and shamble over here that I always have the nagging notion that this person or that person won't like what I write.  Or that this other person may have started reading, or that someone else will stop reading this.

Part of what bothers me so very much about this is that if you've ever met me - in person - then you know that I will always say what's on my mind.  Regardless of whether or not it's popular opinion. So, to not do that here is more than a little silly.

So, be afraid, be very afraid.  Ok, no that's not a threat, not really.  Because I also know that some of the people I'm concerned about would never ever confront me about something I wrote that they didn't like.

What can you expect to be different?
More snark.
Less fluff.
More bitch.

2012 Let's mess this place up.

Music, music and more music

I'm doing it again.
Writing a post, then deleting it. lather-rinse-repeat.

I don't really know what needs telling today.  So here's some music stuff:

• I hate Sheryl Crow. A lot. She's one of the main reasons for my dislike of female singers as a people. 
• That being said, there are a few female singers that I adore, damn near obsess over. TheMarty and Shannon's cousin Clare are fascinated by this. Every time I see them, they quiz me on female singers, seeing who "has it" and who does not.
• Who has it? Adele - she is the QUEEN of has it.  Others? Stevie Nicks, Natalie Merchant, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Janis Joplin, Sarah McLachlan, Sara Bareilles (but nothing by her that's played on the radio), Patty Smyth, Pink, Missy Higgins, Joss Stone, both Anne and Nancy Wilson.
• I'm not entirely sure what "It" is. Care to think on it?
• I posted lyrics from Hurt so Good yesterday on both teh FB and Twitter. No one got the reference or cared. Has John Cougar Mellencamp become obsolete?
• I start guitar class again a week from tomorrow.  I fully intend to do some practicin' between now and then. I intend to.
• I'm also considering learning to play bass. Because I think I would be an awesome bass player. And, there's only like four strings instead of six.
• I'm going to be hitting on John's bass player tomorrow - if I get him to kiss me, maybe he'll lend me one of his old bass's to learn on.
• I can't decide if I want an iPod touch (which I can get now) or an iPad (which will take some time to save up for). I'm really torn on this one.
• I had to turn down a ticket to the Megadeth/Motorhead show next month.  I'm trying to get serious about paying down my debts, and am trying to go out less. This means less concerts. This makes me sad.
• I have a friend who's a real and true Opera singer. And he's amazing.  And I have every intention of going to see him perform soon.  And I think if you live nearby, you should see him too.
• I like Lifehouse.  I admit it. Sure, it's a dirty little secret, but I do. My favorite tunes are Storm and Everything.  If anyone every sang Everything to me, I'd be theirs forever timez.
• I also think 3 Doors Down is an entirely under-rated band.
• I think Anthax's Worship Music album is one of the completely best albums I've heard in a very very long time.
• My favorite favorite favorite song right now is Bridge Over Troubled Water. For some reason it makes me think happy thoughts about my dad. I'm even considering getting some of the lyrics tattooed on me. Sail on, Silver Girl.

Yikes

An interesting thing happened when I was off work these last ten days.
You think this is the lead in to a joke, but you'd be wrong.

I had four different friends, two male and two female, inform me that they are getting divorced.

I'm not going to go into other people's personal business too much here, I'm just finding the situations interesting, and the fact that these four people came to me is also interesting.

Now, the ladies both told me in person, and neither has filed for divorce, they were thinking about it. Each lady has a valid reason for thinking about this step - one a major trust issue, the other financial differences with her husband.  They told me in depth what they had been going through, asked my opinion (Yes! Ask the spinster all about marriage! j/k) and wanted to talk through it all.  We picked apart every "could mean" "might be" "have you/has he" possibility.  Each conversation was hours long, a little weepy, a little giggly.

The men. Sigh.
First dude sent me a drunken text at 1am on Christmas Day. He basically told me he was getting divorced and don't worry about him because he's out with friends even though it's Christmas and Merry Fucking Christmas and I know you are sad and I am sad too etc....
We played phone tag for a few days until I finally got to speak with him.  He told me the story, all dates and facts and concrete info.  The process has already begun.  They were discussing what to do with the house.  I told him I loved him, sent him a flask of very expensive Scotch (he lives in another state, so we can't drink together, at least he can drink well) and am keeping tabs on him.  Now, of course, his wife that I totally loved I totally now hate. I'm pretty clear on these kinds of things.

Second dude sent an email to a group of his long time friends.  He said that he and his wife are divorcing, and that he would like us to keep him in our thoughts.  I've tried to chat with him. He said emailing would be best, he also said he'd like to see me.  I offered up a few dates in the near future that would work for me.  He now responds that he's super busy with the divorce and finding a new place to live.  Of course, I understand.  I don't know the details on this situation yet, but he's also being very black and white.

The whole point to this post?  The fact that both ladies were all emotionally driven, and the dudes were facts and figures, even though all four of my friends are clearly hurting.  I'm not going to lie.  I find it a little odd that these people came to me (aforementioned spinster), yet I know I am a kick-ass friend, and I'm probably the person they should  turn to in this time of need.

I also know someone who should get divorced, and SOON. But that's a story for another day. Or when I'm drunk. Either way.

So, as much as I want/need/desire/require 2012 to be better for me, it's not looking so hot for some of my dear friends already.  I already know that I'll be heading out of town asap to visit my friend in the other state.  I already know that I'll be buying many fine beverages for my dear friend that is here, once he has time. 
I also know that either way they decide, the two ladies are going to need me too.

Why don't people follow my relationship lead?........Oh, never mind......