Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Snippets

A couple of snippets from last night: 1. One cannot give someone the finger while wearing mittens. The person who should be offended sees this as waving, and will wave back, thus infuriating you futher. If one must give the finger, take off the mitten, so the message is not miscommunicated. 2. I CAN park in the garage while VonBroinlaw is parked in there. I can, I can, I can. Yeah me. 3. Chris made me spit out my pop at dinner last night. We were sitting at the table, having just finished our crappy holiday dinner. Laura was out warming her car, and Lizzie was playing with her toys. For no reason whatsoever, Chris looked at me and said "How bout I take that ski and shove it up your ass and walk around the restaurant with you like that?!?". She.was.sober. I love Chris. I missed her a lot. A lot. 4. We were nearly thrown out of Joe's Crab Shack last night. Chris decided to fill my purse with whatever she could find on the table. There was sugar, sweetandlow, crab crackers, napkins (used), pens. We were standing up practically wrestling. I think Laura was torn between laughing and trying to get us to stop. Lizzie? She was trying to help her mom fill my purse with crap. Yep, Chris and I are great role models for her!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Mr Freeze is winning

I can handle the snow. To a point. If it snows, and hangs around for a day or two, that's cool. This 6 snow storms in 6 days, followed by the coldest temperatures in two years? That's a problem. I even cancelled plans yesterday, because I was so freakin' cold I couldn't stand the thought of going back outside. Sigh. So, I know I've been lax with this here blog. Mea culpa. A quick weekend in review. Friday I didn't go to work. I had hit the wall. I'm in that mode right now where I have a lot of plans, I say yes to, well, everything. I got tired. And, of course, we had Another snow storm on Friday. So, I stayed home from work on Friday. It was everything I needed it to be. I wrapped all of the presents (once I remembered what was for who), I watched three movies. I finished reading Twilight. I ended up cancelling my plans Friday night too, I was too comfortable in my cozy little apartment. It was exactly what I needed. Saturday Laura and I went to dinner, and then to the Daily. She had never been there, and was curious. We picked a good night to go because pretty much everyone I know there was there, both staff and customers. I had this tasty little beer called Skull Splitter. I highly, highly recommend this beer. It's from Scotland. It's 8.9% people - what more do you need? Go get you some, you won't be disappointed. Sunday I headed to Montgomery IL for breakfast with the godmother. My godmother is awesome. I get the feeling she feels about me the same way I feel about my goddaughter. Mimi is one of my dad's best friends from forever. When I became Catholic in third grade, Mimi became my godmother. Anyway, she lives out in the middle of nowhere, and we go to her house every year for breakfast right before Christmas. It was a great time. Her granddaughter showed up and joined us for breakfast, which was nice. The only problem was it was so so so cold yesterday. When my parents picked me up at 8am, it was -6 with a -30 windchill. That's why VonSis and I ended up cancelling our plans last night. We just couldn't get ourselves to go back outside. I swear it took me about an hour to warm up after I got home from breakfast. Today isn't much better. I got up and got myself by just not thinking about it too much. I have noticed a happy thing this holiday season - I've heard more and more people saying "Merry Christmas" more than the standard lame "Happy Holidays". Every time someone says "Merry Christmas" to me, I respond, enthusiastically, in kind. I think it just sounds better, I don't know. I will try, really try, to blog again this week, but it may not happen. It's just an incredibly busy time right now. Hopefully I will have something entertaining to share after Christmas. Wishing you all and all of your families and friends a very Merry Christmas, or a Happy Hanukkah, or a happy last week in December, whatever you'll be celebrating this week.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Auntie Mame

I didn't hate it. I'm not going to lie, I was a little unsure at first, but the company that I kept last night made it a hilarious round of good time. My favorite line? "I'm ya SPONGE!" I'm going to use that. A lot. (If you haven't seen this movie, rent it. NOW. If only for that line, it's worth it) Sigh. Right now? Looks like we're livin' in a snow globe. I do love working on the 30th floor downtown! Not really looking forward to heading home. Not just a major snow storm, but cold as hell. COLD. H A T E W I N T E R. I know, I know. Weekend review and all of that. No time, my friends, no time. Tonight, you say? Um, well, I would, except that I am going to dinner with my friend Toni, and following that up with a movie..... What movie, you quander? Well, um, let's just say we're going to be lecherous cougars leering at some fine young vampire meat..... I know. I know. Let the harassing and haranguing begin..... (p.s. I know quander may not be a word, but I liked it, so I left it in)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Dod Gamn

Busy weekend, busy life = no time for weekend in review. I'll get back to you on that. Right now? Going to sit on a radiator and try to get feeling back into my body. God Damn Chicago. God Damn 7 degrees, with a 15 below wind chill. God Damn Monday.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Happy Friday

I find that giving someone a piece of my mind gives me peace of mind. I'm having lunch with Shannon today. She's bringing me my first Bake Off entry to sample and judge. Where are your entries?!? I've got nothing else as of yet today. But with the monstrous full moon, you never know what could come spilling out of my brain.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

28 is not so bad

I like to read. A lot. So, this year I decided to keep a list of all of the books I've read. I think it's late enough in December to share the list with you. Let me warn you, I don't stick to any one type or style of book. So, here goes. Please, don't judge. 1. My Boring Ass Life 2. Wheel of Darkness 3. The Tenth Circle 4. The Thirteenth Tale 5. The Pact 6. The Mistress of Death 7. Lucky 8. The Will of Wisteria 9. Keeping Faith 10. Open Me 11. Five Quarters of the Orange 12. The Worst Day of My Life So Far 13. The Memory Keeper's Daughter 14. Left Behind 15. Hunting Unicorns 16. Tribulation Force 17. Bloodsucking Fiends 18. Nicolai 19. The Collectors 20. Soul Harvest 21. Blessed are the Cheesemakers 22. Apollyon 23. Ysabel 24. Book of the Dead 25. Mercy 26. World War Z 27. Story Telling 28. Kitchen Confidential 29. Twilight (I'm just starting this. Damn peer pressure) Phew. This is quite a list. To be honest, I didn't finish #12, I ended up hating it about a quarter of the way in and I didn't finish. It's very rare for me to not finish whatever I'm reading. If I start a book, I feel like I owe it to the book, or maybe to myself to read it all the way through. I also do not read more than one book at a time. Again, I consider it a disservice to myself, and to the books. My sister and I read All The Time. Our mom instilled this practice in us at very young ages. I don't remember a time when we didn't go to the library, or read books to earn Cubs tickets from the library, or get books as gifts for Easter and Christmas and sometime birthdays. Sadly, VonMom is very very off when selecting books for me. The ONE type of book I will not read is chic lit. I'd rather rip out my own teeth with a rusty pair of pliers and call that a good time. So, of course, VonMom gives me chic lit. My favorite story about that is this: A few Christmases ago I got a book from VonMom. She was all excited because it was about two sisters, and one was blonde and one was a brunette, and the blonde was the younger party gal and the brunette um, wasn't, yada yada yada. I read the first few pages of this Jennifer Weiner crap "And the little blonde one was having rough sex in the bathroom at her high school reunion with some random dude and aren't I so witty with my peppy prose?" Instead of just putting it down and not finishing it, I called VonMom and read her the first few choice pages. I said "Isn't this just so, like, great?" She wasn't amused. From then on she's asked for recommendations either from me or from the poor Barnes and Noble staff who indulge her lenghty description of me and my life story, so they can help her pick out a book or two. VonSis? VonMom buys her whatever giant huge tome she can find. Regardless of subject matter. Sigh. Thank God my sister and I have each other to book swap with and compare notes. We're like our own mini book club, but kinda like one on crack, with the speed she flies through books, and me trying to keep up. Best book on the list above? Ysabel, by Guy Gavriel Kay. But, I will say, he's been my favorite fantasy writer since I was about 13, so that may be a little skewed. *Side note: YES, there are a few of the Left Behind series on the list. However, I was strongly adivsed, and I strongly agreed to stop reading the series. Not only was it boring and weird, it left a bad taste in my mouth. If anyone would like the authors' names or any more info on any of the above, please let me know.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Yawn

Saturday was my third annual cookie and ornament swap. Pretty much my whole weekend revolved around that. Friday night was bake and prep. I really wanted to go over to the Old Town craft fair, there were a couple of things I wanted to pick up, but I had to get stuff done. Alas, the work of a hostess is never done. Saturday morning while I was taking my "pretzel things" off the cookie sheets they had cooled on overnight there was a loud knock on the door. Oh, yes, that's right. Saturday was also St. Nick's day. VonMom was standing outside my front door in the snow with St. Nick's bags for me and VonSis. The upside of having to see her so early in the morning was I got an invite to join my parents for breakfast at my dad's favorite diner down the street. I put down the spatula and put on some jeans and headed over for some pumpkin pancakes. So good. My cookie party people showed up around 3pm, all in their pjs, all ready to drink, eat and swap some cookies. I had about 15 ladies over. It was awesome. I'm pretty sure everyone had a great time. There was a lot of laughing going on. VonMom ended up holding court in the living room for quite a while. I had to put the kibash on her filling in all of my friends on our gypsy heritage, and her idea that I have powers. Yes, she was sober. I ran into the room when I heard the beginnings of this story out of her mouth. She just kept talking. Sigh. I won't be able to live this down for a while. Quite a few of my guests stayed pretty late, until 10:30 or so. I was so tired I didn't have a chance to clean up 100%. I always like to clean up the same day of whatever party I am throwing, so I can have the next day to relax. Didn't work out that way this time. Sunday morning VonSis woke up with a hangover. Though I did dishes, and ran some errands, she stayed on my couch pretty much all day. It doesn't bother me too much. Sil1x told me that I am a good hostess, and that I threw a great party. She's a party-hostessing master, so those words made the cleaning meatball sauce off my wall, and scrubbing wine rings off the counter, and taking out 5 bags of garbage out in 15 degree weather all worth it. I can't wait for next year! Happy Monday.

Friday, December 5, 2008

C is for cookie

That's good enough for me! Two cookie related items: 1. Tomorrow is my third annual cookie and ornament swap. Generally a big hit. This year all guests are coming in pajamas, and they've requested more food. Ask and you shall receive!! There will be a ton of food. My annual party is a good time. A bunch of women get their drink on - we have peppermint schnapps and hot cocoa, vodka and cranberry gingerale, wine both white and red, beer - and bring a dozen homemade cookies and a wrapped ornament. They each get a festive tin and get to pick out a dozen or so different cookies to take home, and a new ornament. Yep good times. Am I ready for this at all?? Nope. Not at all. I'm lucky my house is decorated. I managed to bring the party tables into the house yesterday and mop the floor, but there's no food and no cookies yet. Sigh. It's going to be a looooong night tonight. 2. The Bake-Off is upon us!!! Team Chicago and Claire are eagerly awaiting your entries!! Valuable and super-awesome prizes await you!! Did I mention first and second place get to be the judges next year? Comment here if you'd like further details.....

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Bleh

I would love to write something awesome for you, but that would involve me putting down my box-o-tissues and Vicks vaporub for more than two minutes. Bleh. Still sick.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Better late than

AAAAchhoo! Yep. I am sick. Wicked sick. Major head cold, I think I am competing with Shannon for most tissues used in one day. Bleh. So, my blog is a little late. Black Wednesday didn't turn out quite as I planned. I wanted to go out and get my drink on. I went to my parents' house for dinner, where I told my parents I planned on going out. That was my biggest mistake. My dad - the ONE person who I listen to pretty much all the time, no matter what - had an opinion, a Strong opinion, about me going out that night. Sigh. I tried to argue my point: "I'll take a cab, dad." "I'm going out with old friends - people even you know! Yes, guy friends, who'll look out for me!" "I'll go out early and come home early!" He would hear none of it. My good ole' Catholic guilt kicked in, so I went home and didn't go out. Plus, I kinda fell asleep on the couch for a bit, and when I woke up I really wasn't feeling it anymore. Damn me, being all old and stuff. I ended up texting TheMarty for a while, and going to bed pretty early. Turkey Day itself? Not bad, not bad at all. I was watching the hugely lame Chicago parade when I remembered 'Hey, there's a way better parade on some other channel!' and flipped over to the Macy's parade. Sure, I hate the Macy's machine for taking over the State Street Marshall Fields, but they throw a kick ass turkey day parade. I giggled and clapped. I even caught the RickRoll first hand. Good times. I went to EldestStepSis's house for a bit. (again, my dad recommended I stop by. Sigh) It was fine. I got a lot of extra hugs as this was the first time I saw the steps since Charlie died. StepBrother E was late, big surprise. Oh well, while we waited for him we had some Champagne - Score!! We were seated at a too small table, but the food was pretty ok, and they conversation didn't suck. After a couple glasses of a decent red wine, I headed over to Chris' house. Unfortunately, my goddaughter was in a crappy mood. It got to the point where I was pretty much ignoring her, just because I didn't want to deal with the whining and the crabbiness. All of the adults were pretty annoyed with her. Other than Lizzie's pissy mood, Chris' house was great. She had all of my favorite Thanksgiving foods, and she is an awesome cook. We had a good time, and I ended up staying there until 9pm or so. I took home some leftovers and "Hellboy II". That was a pretty good movie. Friday I woke up feeling a little sick, but it was time to decorate!! It took about 5 hours, maybe a little more, but I'm really happy with the way it turned out. I don't decorate exactly the same every year, I like to change things up. Last Christmas I got a lot of new decorations, and I got some stuff from my mom for my birthday this year. I will get some pictures up soon. By Friday night I was full on sick. Saturday I got my Christmas cards all filled out and mailed. I met Shannon and TheMarty for dinner. I love love love how I always spill food on myself. I'm awesome like that. After dinner I volunteered a show at Old Town. Hot Tuna!!! Woo hoo! A whole lot of groovy going on! Sunday VonSis, Sil1x and I went to brunch - Fabulous!! While we were getting our eat on, it started snowing. Pretty at first, then annoying. Bleh, I hate winter. Sunday night I went to John and Toni's. Toni made her famous and killer chili. We watched football and ate chili and ate chili and watched football. After dessert I headed home. I don't understand how a LONG weekend can feel so very short! I'm going to go take a nap now. I'd like to make some effort to get better so I can go to work tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Giving Thanks

Top 10 things I am thankful for: 1. My job. I'm no idiot. Every day. Every day I am thankful for the job that I have, and the wonderful company and people that I work for and with. I am so very lucky. I know what things are like out there, everywhere. Not only am I thankful to have a job, but I am thankful to have a great job. 2. My apartment. Even though I don't own it, I am thankful that I have a warm, cozy, cute place to live. I can paint it however I like, have a great backyard I can entertain in. 3. I'm thankful for my name. I know, it's a little weird. Let me explain. Up until the last 5 years or so, I hated my name. I don't know why I changed my mind, but now I really love it. It's unique, and allows for nicknames a plenty. I'm thankful my mom forgot what she was actually going to name me - Yvette, I am certainly NOT an Yvette - and bestowed on me the awesome name that is mine until the end. (p.s. - for those of you that don't know, my real and actual VonMom given name is Yvonne) 4. I am thankful for the 15 months and 1 day that I have not smoked a cigarette. You can do it MenD!! 5. I am thankful for the fact that I have not one but two places to go tomorrow. Sure, I bitch about the stepfam, but they like me a whole lot. So does my goddaughter, who is so excited about me coming back this year that she was hopping around the house last Saturday. I might even be NICE to the stepfam. We'll see. Ido plan to stay late at Chris' house and hang out with my awesome goddaughter. I'm thankful for her, too. 6. I am thankful for the Old Town School. I love it there. I feel my absolute best when I am there. After three years volunteering there, it never gets old. I love the music, the staff, the other volunteers (ok, most of them), the way I'm treated there. They really appreciate us there. No politics, no b.s. 7. I am so so so thankful for my friends. Old and new. Chicagoan, Bostonians, Internets, etc. Those I've known 20 years are just as valuable as those I've known less than 1 year. I am blessed to know all of you. I love all of you. I would not be the person I am were it not for you. You all make me a better person. 8. I am thankful for my family. Family is a relative term, especially in my life. Germans, Canadians, actuals, step, Sil1x, etc. 9. I am thankful for iTunes, my iPod, my laptop and Netflix. All of these things will get me through my long weekend. A little materialism is okey dokey in my book. 10. Finally, I am thankful for carbohydrates, without which I would never enjoy Thanksgiving. Ah, sweet carbs, come to mama. Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. Eat well, sleep in, have a drink or two.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A quick follow up

Thanks, all of you, for the support. (I seem to keep thanking you all, for many things, but you all are awesome) A quick follow up: Ok, sure I am still charmingly chubby, but I'm cool with it. I have enough self-confidence for me, and for all of them. I have no pimples. I am no longer dishwater blonde, but expensively and expertly Blonde. I AM Irish enough. Not only do I immerse myself in all things Irish, but I also play and sing Irish music, and well. Tin whistle? Check. Bodhran? Check. - I doubt they even know what a bodhran is, or how to pronounce it. It took me a while, I'm embarrassed to admit, but my parents neighborhood is beautiful. Not only is their house gorgeous and huge, but their neighborhood is awesome and close knit. I wouldn't have wanted to grow up anywhere else. Keep your Sauganash and your Lincolnwood - Forest Glen suits me just fine. And Lauren had a great point. My trip to Boston was fantastic. There's nothing I would rather have been doing that weekend. My new Boston friends are genuine, and awesome, and good people. They make me laugh. Even though I have known them a short time, I hope to be friends with them and the people that introduced me to them for many years to come. Hm. I think I am starting to feel better about this......

Monday, November 24, 2008

I need a hug

I wish I could lie and say I was popular in grammar school. The truth of the matter is I wasn't. Not by a long shot. I was the chubby dishwater blonde girl with the pimples and the bad perms. I wasn't Irish enough. We didn't live in the right neighborhood. I coached basketball instead of played it. I got good grades, and stopped trying to impress the popular crowd by mid-7th grade. Could it be all of these reasons that I didn't get invited to my 20th reunion party? No, oh no dear readers. I'm not kidding. I wasn't invited. After I left the evils of QAS behind in the fall of 1988, I knew that I was destined for better and cooler things. I threw myself into activities. I lost a little weight. I discovered Medusa's. I also discovered that it's much more awesome to just be myself, than try to fit in. Strangely, when I did my own thing I made friends. Lots of them. All different types and shapes and sizes. My high school years were fantastic. My couple of college years were awesome too. Every year after that (and there have been a few) has been better and better. For the most part, I really like myself. I love that I do a lot of different things, and that I know a ton of people. VonMom likes to say that I am like my dad in that no matter where I go, I always run into someone I know. This is true. I know a lot of people. Friends, acquaintances, people I have volunteered with/gotten drunk with/made music with/learned with/lost with....these people are everywhere. I love people. - Ok. I really do. As long as they aren't lame annoying people. All of this is a direct result of who I was, the person I was beaten down to, when I left eighth grade. I left those people and they way they behaved way way behind me. True story: While at a party my freshman year at NEIU, I ran into one of the guys that tormented me the most in grammar school. I wasn't exactly sober. G looked at me, I gave him the finger. Drunk as I was, I knew exactly who he was. He finally figured out who I was. I ignored him as best I could, but the party wasn't that big. He kept being around. I was my usual self, trying to make people laugh, having a good time. A few days after the party I ran into G at school. He stopped me and said "I wanted to apologize to you." I stood there, waiting for some asshole comment or other. Then he said "I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you in school. You're pretty cool, and I'm sorry I didn't see that before." I saw him a few times after that (he was friends with my to-this-day very good friend John) and I hated him a little less. Still, what he said made me glow a little. The reason I am writing this blog is that I'm pissed. Frustrated, mostly, with myself that those people that I went to grammar school still affect me so much. I found out about the reunion party when I talked to JL, the one person I reconnected with from QAS. JL is good people. I found him on myspace early in 2007. We got together had some beers and we made each other laugh. I think we are friends again, which is great. Anyway, we were talking on the phone, and he mentioned that he had run into another one of the QAS people somewhere, B. B told JL about the party. JL hadn't gotten actually invited either. JL told me. He asked if I wanted to go. That ended up being the weekend that I went to Boston, so I had an easy out. I don't think I would have gone anyway. JL went. I haven't had the chance to hear how it was, I'll need to call him to find out. A thought: Really? Did they even try to locate everyone? I mean, my parents live in the same house we lived in when I went to school there, so it's not like they couldn't find a mailing address. Assholes. I really feel that they invited the same people that they hung out with 20 years ago. I'm assuming that reflects on how little they have changed or matured as people. I looked at some of their facebook pages, and I found a couple of pictures of myself on their pages. Do they look at these pictures and not even realize that there are other people in those pictures beside them and their friends? Why am I even in those pictures? I have no memory of this. I am really mad at myself for being so affected. Fact: I would not have gone had I been in town. Fact: I don't really want to ever see those people again. These truths being said, I don't know why I am so upset about this whole thing. Maybe I wish it had been my option to not go. For all of the strides I've made, I feel like this whole situation has knocked me for a loop. I know that I do make fun of myself quite a bit, and it is because I do it before someone else can - this is one piece of baggage I carry from grammar school. I just need to remind myself that all the good that I am, all the fun, and the cool, are also a result of them. I worked really hard to never be that girl again. I do still like myself a lot. This is a speed bump, a minor set back. I haven't thought about them in years, and I want to get back to that, I don't want to be thinking of them now. I just needed to get that off my chest. QAS people suck.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Update

O M G I knew it, I just knew it. The CDs are fantastic. I see what will be playing nonstop on my stereo this weekend....

A happy dose of awesome

So, I was going to just grumble about how tired I am. See, I had to go to this thing that I didn't want to go to, from which I didn't get home until 11:30ish. After which I woke up this morning with 7 minutes - 7 minutes - to get up, dressed, teeth brushed, out the door to go to work. However. Two awesome things happened yesterday. Maybe three. First: At the thing I didn't want to go to, there was a silent auction. I zeroed in on this Lincoln Square print. I had seen this print all over the place over the summer, but I just didn't buy it. I regretted not getting it, and when I went looking for it, of course, it was gone. Sigh. Well, there it was last night, up for auction, in a package with two bottles of wine (nice), two darling wine glasses, an embroidered Lincoln Square tote, and a tie with all of the Chicago neighborhoods all over it. I said to myself: "Self. I WANT THAT". So I bid. And bid. And was forced to bid again. AND I WON. Sure, is it all really worth $160? Dunno. Do I really have $160? Not really. But the print all all of the goodies are Mine, m i n e, MINE!! And, I am trading sister the tie for the sonicare toothbrush she won as part of an auction item. Sweet!! Second: I got home all cold and tired and excited with my winnings, when what to my wandering eyes should appear in my mail? Ok, yes, bills. But also......(this is a drumroll.....) an envelope from BillyRottenPilgrimMcDonald!!!! Oooooh. I opened it, and there are not one, but TWO CDs!!! And, as I recall, BPRM gifts music to those he likes. He likes me! He really likes me!!! I cannot wait to listen to them! For all of the things I forgot this morning, like my lunch, my water bottle, my phone charger- remember, 7 minutes from bed to car - I remembered to bring the CDs!! I am about to give them a listen! I already know two important things that make these CDs like gold a) The man has awesome/fantastic/extensive musical tastes and b) we have very similar taste in music. This is going to r o c k. Kinda third: I'm not going to lie. I did enjoy people telling me I looked nice yesterday. I wore a black dress, black tights, black shoes, awesome black and white headband and silver jewelry. Those that matter most (sister, sil1x) told me I looked nice, among others, and more said it more than once. I will admit part of the reason I looked nicer was I wanted the germans to know what they are missing out on, and that I could have represented them well, professionally and with style. Too bad for them, so sad. I might be a little inspired to dress/look a little classier in 09. Not sure how committed to that I am, we'll see. But it was nice to get compliments. A little bit of snark: I will admit to one snarky/bitchy moment last night. When one of the newly elected board members asked me if I will be attending the Bach concert this Sunday at the place that finds me unworthy, I said "No, I'm working a show at Old Town. They remain my first volunteering priority." and under my breath "they like me there". It may have been a little to soon for me to be there, I think. Ok, must go listen to the CDs. Have a lovely weekend. I hope it is warmer wherever you are. *Chicago current temperature? 18 degrees*

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Quirky? Bleh.

I am not quirky. I know of a few folks who think, nay, pride themselves on being "quirky". I think they define themselves by going against the grain. What grain? Who's grain? What are you against exactly? They shop at thrift stores. I'm sorry you're broke - stop drinking so much, you could at least buy one or two items at, say, Target for the $$ you spend on booze. They decorate weird. Ikea - ever heard of it? Beats the hell out of old garbage picked milk cartons. They look down upon those who either a) aren't quirky like them or b) don't put them on a pedestal for being so gosh darn quirky. Get over yourselves. You know, they think they are unique. Let me fill you in on something, when all of their friends, and a lot of the people they associate with look Just.Like.Them, show me what is so unique about that. To each their own I guess, but they annoy me. Me? I'm just me. A little of this, a smidge of that. A dash of that other over there. Never the same way too much of the time. I'm a diamond - too many facets to count. But a regular, plain old diamond. Who'd buy a quirky diamond anyway?

Monday, November 17, 2008

Meh

My weekend. Sigh. A varied and interesting state of affairs. Upside: Lauren!! Got to see her Saturday night, and Sunday! Friday night dinner at Olive Garden (I don't care, I love it there!) with my sister, Sil1x, and Bubbles. Met new best friend. Heard some wonderful news. Brunch at Tweet OMG so freakin' good! Lovely party for Shannon's birthday. Fantastic foods, beer, free parking, watching La Pequena and Dan Band videos on UTube. Started back again at FatCamp (oh, uh, AKA Weight Watchers) Saw Sil1x AGAIN on Sunday! Not-quite-red but scrumptious red velvet cupcakes. Made from scratch. Little hot fudge sundae made with peppermint ice cream, meant to make me feel better. Downside: Measurable snow. Self-important assholes. "Made of Honor" not so good, even with McDreamy and McKidd. Missing Charlie a lot on the weekends. People drank my beer. Started back at FatCamp (W2) Got some startling news. Though we begged and pleaded, Lauren went back to Boston. Didn't finish reading the book I was sure I'd get through this weekend. Nailpolish put on yesterday, already chipping. People dragging me into the extremely childish bull shit. A bunch of germans let me know that I am not good enough to represent them. So, yeah. Some big highlights, and some sucky lows. What can you do? TGIM? Does that work? Thank God it's Monday? We'll see.... ***Happy Birthday Shannon!*******

Friday, November 14, 2008

Yippee! It's here!

Just got the official word, and I couldn't be happier! For those of you in the listening area of "greater Chicagoland" 93.9 is now officially the Holiday Light!!! Yep, they flipped the switch at 8:30 this morning. All Christmas music all the time, until like midnight 12/25 or something. Doesn't matter when it ends, it's on right now! George Michael is crooning all about "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away...." as I type this! *for those of you who aren't familiar with the Holiday Light, they are notorious for starting Christmas music on November 1st for the past few years. They didn't do it this year, and I for one have been anxiously waiting to see when they would start.

A mixed bag

First things first: Some people just can't handle the snark. I got a somewhat nasty email today from one of the stepsisters in response to my humorous email requesting holiday gift lists for her offspring. Seriously? Shit. If I am spending my hard earned $$ on your kid, you should know my sense of humor by now. Especially if you are "family". Geesh. I basically told her to get a sense of humor, and get me a freakin' list. Topic two: I like the word asinine. I like it a lot. It randomly popped into my mind today, while I was listening to an asinine conversation at work. I was annoyed at the forementioned conversaton, until I got distracted by my love of the word asinine. Am I even spelling it right? Don't know, just love it. Next: Lauren is here!!! Squeee! I will see her Saturday night, and Sunday, and I love the company that she works for that sent her here for a conference or meeting or something! And then: I only officially decided a few days ago that I will be decorating for the holidays this year. I wasn't going to (mostly because we lost Charlie) but then I realized that I'll probably be more chipper this season if I do. Now that I've made that decision, I can't WAIT! My sister found the exact trees I was looking for, so I'm trying something new this year, and I'm so ready to get started.

I am currently having some weird brain thing going on. I've noticed in elevators that when my mind starts to wander, it starts listing band names, A to Z. For example: 'Abba, Black Sabbath, Credence Clearwater Revival, Dr. Dre, ELO, etc, etc, etc.... This is a game Shannon, TheMarty and I played on that final stretch home from Boston, when we were in a whiteout snow storm in Indiana. This was more than 3 weeks ago. I don't know what my problem is.

Have a nice weekend. (betcha at least ONE of you - I'm looking at you, Rotten, is running through band names alphabetically now too....)

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Und you vill b a k e

So, yeah. It's that time of year! As one of Four esteemed judges in this year's RoD Holiday bake off, I implore you to get involved!! I await your criscocarbychocolateycreations! Go here for details: http://republicofdogs.net/?p=3873 And for realz, as I am the judge with the nut allergy, and I think y'all like me a little - No Nuts. On behalf of Claire, Shannon, and TheMarty, thank you in advance for your participation!! Let's make this FIERCE. My fingers are crossed for another video of snark or two this year, that was Fantastic last year!! Now, get thee to thy kitchens.....I'm waiting!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Full moon or something?

It's gotta be a full moon. Or Something. I've been a little feisty of late. Examples: Saturday I went to see Zack and Miri with Laura. Somehow Laura made friends with this awesome really old dude walking from the parking lot to the theatre. So, Laura and I were in line for snacks, and AwesomeOldDude and his equally awesome friend were right in front of us in line. AOD turns around and said to us "So, what movie are you going to see?" Without skipping a beat I say "Zack and Miri make a PORNO" see, I had to talk LOUD in case he had hearing loss. Laura shook her head, AOD looks at me a second and says "What kind of movie is that?" I say "Oh, you know, it's a comedy. What are you going to see?" "That new Clint Eastwood picture." yet he was still looking at me like I had lost my marbles. We part ways at the concession stand. Laura and I walk into our theatre, and there are the two AODs. I walk right up to them and say "Honey, you are in the wrong theatre! This is the PORNO movie, no Clint Eastwood in here!" Laura giggled behind me. AOD says "Oh, I know. We're just waiting to be let into our theatre." I say "Ok then, I didn't want you to get all confused or anything." Tee hee. So, today I sent an email to people in my life that have children that I will be doing some holiday shopping for. Instead of being nice and/or normal, my email was terse and threatening. I let them know that if they don't provide me with lists for their offspring, and soon, that they would have to explain to their offspring why they got expired coupons and gas station aftershave. They think I'm kidding. I wouldn't tempt me if I were them. As I wrote in the email 'Von don't play.' I just got back from my goddaughter's girl scout investment thingy. (It's this psuedo-ceremony in the school gym). I love my little gd, so I go to as many of her things as I can. I don't really like the people at her school - see, she goes to the elite snotty evil catholic grammar school that I went to. It's a great school, but the people suck. Anyway, so, I'm standing there with C, gd's mother. We're busy making fun of the kids, and some of the parents, drinking our Hawaiin punch. (mmmm red sugar mustache) One of the parents comes over and starts talking to us about what we think about the kids going and singing to the felician sisters. Only she didn't pronounce felician properly. No, she said 'fellation' (I shit you not). So, instead of correcting her politely, I just kept getting her to say felician. FELLATION. Over and over and over again, I got the snobby mcsnooterson to say fellation sisters. I was shaking, I was trying so hard not to laugh in her face. C wanted to punch me. She did pinch me in the arm, trying to get me to stop it, but I just couldn't. It was way too easy. I love feisty, and I love snarky. They make me ME.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Boston? Wicked Pissah!

Our trip to Boston was just that - wicked pissah. Wicked and wicked pissah are my new most favorite things to say. I am going to infiltrate Chicago with these Bostonian words because I love them that much. 18 hours in a car ain't no thing when it's with Shannon and TheMarty. I was able to stay awake from 9pm when they picked me up until about 4:30 am on our way there. I vaguely remember stopping for breakfast somewhere near Rochester NY. Really, don't remember that. I do remember getting really sick and tired of rest stop bathrooms about 9 hours into the trip. Somehow, we arrived at Lauren and Greg's exactly at 4pm east coast time, just as was on Shannon's itinerary. Weeeirrrrdd. After getting settled we all met up and took the T to Boston to see Great Big Sea. Oh.My.God. I LOVE this band. I can't believe I've never heard of this band before!!! And! And they have a member who plays the bodhran!!! Squeeeee...... While trying to get comfortable during the intermission (the seats were made for little people. Really little people - like midgets) Hilary noticed that the guys in front of us were swearing a lot. How did she handle this? By leaning forward and saying: "Hey, you're f*cking swearing a f*cking lot." One of the guys (H O T) had me laughing my midwestern ass off by running down the litany of Boston stereotype chatter. The whole "paaak the caaaa in Haaavaaad yaaaad" and on and on. Too too funny. Saturday we went shopping. Is New England the reason that the word "quaint" was invented? I think so! We headed to this little country store thing which was gigantic with antiques and awesomeness. On our way back to Hilary and Dave's house, Dave told me this little joke: "Von. What's the difference between pink and purple?" "What?" "Her grip." Bawhaaaaahawhawwwww That's pretty much how we talked to each other all weekend. Jokes and dirty humor abounded. We all met up at Lauren and Greg's before heading to the party. The costumes are as follows: Von - witch (lame, I know. Bad planning). Shannon - sexy snow white. Marty - Dave (of the her grip joke) Dave - Red Sox fan Hilary - Crazy cat lady Lauren - Dr. Who Greg - Captain Jack from Torchwood Eric - the JOhn 3:16 guy. The party was wicked awesome. Lauren's parents have converted their garage into the most fantastic party barnthing evah. There were decorations everywhere, and lights, and seats and a woodstove and awesomeness. I loved it. There was a ton of food, which was good because the cider that Hil made was STRONG!! Someone, Eric I think? bought a beer called Monstah (for real) in honor of my obsession with the boston accent. I got a little drunk pretty fast. It was the cider - that delicious nectar. Mmmm. Rum! Sunday we got started a little late, I wonder why! We all (minus Hil) headed in to Boston to see the sights. We had the best weather that weekend. It was upper 60s low 70s all weekend long. We went to No Name seafood for some chowdah. The best seafood chowder in Boston? Don't know, but it was mmmm good!! We all ate a big lunch there, and headed over to a Contemporary Art place. Ok, I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of contemporary art, but I was just going along with the crowd. I walked in to one "exhibit" where there was some light on the floor or something. There were a bunch of people in the room looking at the light or something. I turned around, and Eric was behind me. I said, "Oh, f*ck no." and walked out. Eric shrugged and laughed. Turns out Dave is about as much of a Contemp Art fan as I am, so we walked around together making fun of the exhibits and the people that love them. Good times. We walked around the city, and Dave told me a bunch of bullshit stories about the famous people and historical figures in and around Boston. I believed him at first, but I caught on eventually. We had dinner Sunday night at this wicked pissah place called Chatta Box and then got ice cream from some place where the cows that make the ice cream live right there. Again, I say quaint!! 4 am came much too soon! Our trip home included 2 hail storms, and a SNOW STORM in Indiana. I kid you not. White out blasting the car snow storm. Sigh. I wish we could have stayed in Boston a few more days. I'd love to go back, and soon!! Lauren, Greg, Hilary, Dave and Eric - you guys are wicked pissah. Can people be that? I hope so, because you are. Here are some pictures from our trip:

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Dear People that threw Charlie away 8 years ago,
Thank you. Thank you for giving him up, whatever your reasons were. I forgive you for messing up his teeth, we didn't mind getting them cleaned every year. I wonder what you did that made him never want to play, but I will forgive you that too. Had you not tossed him out, he would have never found his way to us. I think you tossed away the best dog you never got the chance to know - I feel a little sorry for you. Let me tell you what you missed.
You missed not just a good dog, but a great dog. You missed the little hero, who, when I fell down some stairs stood by my side and barked until my brother-in-law came to see what the problem was. You missed the silly little "circus dog" who made a game out of running around my little apartment and jumping onto the couch and over the back of it. You missed my friend who danced on his back legs around the Christmas tree, looking for that one candy cane that I might have hung just low enough for him to grab.
You missed the little alarm clock, who didn't care how much I had to drink the night before, if it was a weekend, he was barking at me either from the doorway or from inches from my face right around 8 am, without fail.
You missed the winter cuddler, who would patiently wait for me to sit with my legs tucked just so, so he could jump up and curl right into the nook he thought I made just for him. You also missed the comedian who made my sister and I cry with laughter when we tried to get him to wear "snow booties". You missed the life of every party. We had to almost physically check many of our guests to make sure they weren't walking away with a beagle parting gift.
You missed the magic dog who seemed to grow in height and weight whenever he deigned to sleep up on the bed with me. I swear, he became as big as a St. Bernard sometimes.....
You missed the furriest best kleenex, if anyone was crying, Charlie would go to that person and sit right up next to them 'here', he seemed to say 'use my scruff for a cuddle and a sniffle, that's what I'm here for.' You missed the dog who couldn't hate the dog beach more. He wrapped his entire body around my legs when we got him about 6 inches into the lake - I didn't know a dog could bend like that.
Thank you, so much, for my best friend, my constant companion.
(Ok, now. I got that off my chest. I'm going to take the rest of the week off. I'll be back next week, and I hope to be back to my old bitchy self. Thank you all so much for your kindnesses. Sil1x, thank you for the chocolate and ice cream - Americone! - and for letting me cry on your living room furniture. You and the little one cheered me up more than you can know. Shannon and TheMarty, thank you in advance for the dinner/drinks coming up. I hope to be ready to go out Thursday night, and I'm glad it's with you. All of my friends, old and new, internets and otherwise, thank you all so much for your support - Your reaching out via phone/email/text has made me feel better. I know Charlie loved you all too.)

Monday, November 3, 2008

Bad news

Charlie was put to sleep this morning. I can't say anything further right now. I just got the news myself, and I am debating staying at work or going home. See, I really don't want to go home, but I can't see myself sitting here and sobbing the rest of the day. I'm going to be taking a little blogging break. Thank you all - SO much - for the kind words. It means more than I can say right now.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

An update

There are so many topics I want to write about, however, there's something big going on in my life right now, so I don't have the time nor the motivation to blog. Because I count you all among my friends, I'm sharing it with you here. I've just spent half of my Sunday morning crying in my parents' kitchen. I'm afraid that my aweome precious beagle, Charlie, is dying. He's had a back problem for about 5 years that has been getting worse this year. About a month ago, we had to take him to the emergency vet. They thought again it was his back. Things have been going down the tubes since then. This weekend seems to be the worst. He has not gotten up, eaten or really drank any water all weekend. I've made him rice with chicken broth, he wants nothing to do with it. I have to bring water to him in his bed and hope that he drinks a few ounces. He's only been outside once this weekend. I went to my parents' house to talk to them. I walked in the house and immediately started crying. I want the vet to fix him, make him better. I don't want him to suffer anymore, I really do think at this point that he is suffering. My parents told me that our vet (he's been my families vet for 30 years) never makes the final decision for you. I guess we will have to say "I think it's time" and he will either disagree or say "ok". I don't think I can do this. I have to go to work, so it's going to have to be VonSis that takes him to the vet either tomorrow or Tuesday. My dad is going to go with her, for moral support. My parents came over a little bit ago. I know they said that they wanted to see how Charlie was doing, but it sure felt like they were saying goodbye. I know that I won't be doing much of anything besides working and taking care of Charlie over the next little while. So, my friends, bear with me. If you think I'm a sap for being so attached to my dog, so be it. But, if you understand where I'm coming from then thanks. Hopefully I'll be back later this week, with some good news.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I do what I am told....

Thanks Saying Yes!!! My uncle once: said "which way? North or South?" but with his heavy German accent it came out "Norse? Or Souuuuse?" I nearly peed myself laughing Never in my life: Have I driven on a highway When I was five: My life started over, for the better High school was: Fanfreakintastic. I loved almost every minute of it. I will never forget: Song lyrics. Like, ever Once I met: Sister Hazel. Ok, more than once, but still There's this girl I know: Who can't admit that she is wrong, so instead attacked me, and on my birthday. Kinda an evil thing to do. Once at a bar: I danced on the bar, and got free shots. By noon, I'm usually: Hungry? Last night: I had too much to do, as always. If I only had: More money, and more time. Sigh. Next time I go to church: Who's getting married? What worries me most: Not going to go there. What I miss most about the 1980's: Medusa's. and the hair. And the economy. If I were a Shakespeare character, I'd be: sad A better name for me would be: No, I think Von fits me perfectly I have a hard time understanding: Math. math is hard. If I ever go back to school: I will finally be doing what I should have been doing my entire adult life You know I like you if: I try to make you laugh. Take my advice, never: Stop at every shot table at Exit. There's too many of them, and you will get sick. I swearz. My ideal breakfast is: carbs. Any breakfast really. I love breakfast. Especially Cracker Barrel. Especially the one in Rochester NY. Why won't people: Find me a boyfriend? The world could do without: JOHN MCCAIN My favorite blonds are: Myself! ( I am a great blond!!) and Laura, and that chick I see on the escalator every morning with the awesome hair, and I'm so jealous. If I do anything well, it's: Sing (my shower and my car think I'm awesome) And by the way: It's time to start working. ***Yes, I know I owe a BostonAwesomeTrip recap. It's coming. I promise.*****

Thursday, October 23, 2008

T minus

In about 10 hours we will be on our way to the East Coast. Driving. Ok, I'm not driving, but I will be participating in the "keep the driver awake" game. Are we crazy? Yes. We are also broke, so hence the driving. I don't think I'll be able to post anything until after our return, vacations to me mean no computers. I hope to have interesting tidbits to share with you upon our return. I will say that we might go to McGann's, which is a bar that I've been kicked out of not once, but twice. The first time was for *ahem* being too intoxicated. The second was a case involving me getting caught in the men's room looking for a certain picture on the wall that I had planned on taking with me. So, off to Boston. See you on the flip side.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A meme thingy.....

I ripped this off of Saying Yes. Hey, Thanks!!! What is your favorite thing to wear? my red plaid shoes Last meal you had at a restaurant: A Mastadon burger at Kuma's Korner...mmmm... Name one thing that scares you: Driving on highways/expressways (duh) Who was the last person in your bed? Me What were you doing at 7:00am? Waiting for the metra Last person you hugged? I think Sil1x at the party on Saturday When was your last encounter with the police? I cannot recall. That, or my lawyers have advised me not to... Have you ever driven without a license? I really don't think so. I'm crazy like that. What time of the day is it? Lunch time! Who/What made you angry today? Don't want to talk about it. PMSing, so pretty much everyone I know? Do you want anyone? Sure! Do you like birds? Not really. Strange question Do you download music? Never Do you care if your socks are dirty? Yes, gross! Again, strange question Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos? Lame. I hope they all mean something totally different than what the person thinks. What are you doing tonight? Running errands I think Do you like to cuddle? Not really Do you love anyone? Yes! Whose bed did you sleep in last night? Mine Have you ever bungee jumped? Hell to the No Have you ever gone whitewater rafting? No, but I would love to! Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? Sigh. Yes. Part of the reason I quit the dating website I was on. How many pets do you have? 1! Best dog ever! Charlie! Have you met a real redneck? I'm related to some! How is the weather right now? Fallish, yet sunny What are you listening to right now? Sister Hazel What was the last movie you watched? Sweeney Todd. Meh Do you wear contacts? Nope Where was the last place you went besides your house? Work What are you wearing? Work clothes, black and grey What's one thing you've learned this year? That I have an extra bone in each of my feet. It's called an "accesory bone". What do you usually order from Starbucks? Grande decaf non-fat cinnamon dolce w/ whip Ever had someone sing to you? Yes. And it's fantastic. Have you ever fired a gun: No no no. I would never do that. Are you missing someone? Always Favorite TV show? Grey's/Lost/Fringe is pretty good. What do you have an obsession with? Lots and lots of stuff Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? Twice Who? Meg Ryan (dude was DRUNK) and Sally Struthers, in the "feed the children" chubby phase Who would you like to see right now? I think the people I'm seeing this weekend! Ever had a near death experience? Maybe Are you afraid of falling in love? A little Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to? Oh, yeah. Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently? No What's something that really bugs you? I am SO not going there today. I might get into too much trouble Taco Bell or Burger King? Yo quiero Taco Bell Next time you will kiss someone? Soon I hope! Favorite baseball team? You need to ask? C U B S Ever call a 1-900 phone number? Sure, connections when I was like 11. 1-900-2020202! Nipple or Nose rings? Neither What's the longest time you've gone without sleep? 30 something hours Last time you went bowling? Too long ago! WOuld love to go bowling! Where is the weirdest place you have slept? At Double Door, during a metal show. I was that tired. Who did you last speak with on the phone? My boss What does your last received text message say? Something about some radio station going off the air. What's the closest orange object to you? A stuffed jack-o-lantern that is representin' Halloween decor on my desk. (auf Deutsch: Pumpkin = Kurbis) Whew! Finished! That was fun!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Ain't no party like a Von thrown party...

99.9% of the reason that I have been cranky and stressed out lately was because I was leading a team of experts in throwing VonSis and VonBroinlaw a surprise 10th anniversary party. It was yesterday. Given the fact that VonSis has been known to read this here blog, I could not vent here at all.
I'm just glad it went off so well. A big huge THANK YOU to Sil1x, Heidi, and (believe it or not) VonMom. Ok, there were moments (many many of them) when I wanted to kill VonMom, and God knows we haven't spent that much time together Ever, but she was a big help too. Also helpful were all of the DANK people. Yeah, that's right VonSis, she who thinks she knows everything going on everywhere, we planned, prepped, and produced a party for you and 40 of your nearest and dearest not just under your nose, but Where You Work. HAHA!
Here are some photos:

You see, even when I bitch, and complain, and whine about doing it, I like to throw a nice party. I think I did. There was a moment, when Heidi and Sil1x were helping me set up, and I looked around at all of the lovely results of our hard work and said "I am pleased".

VonDad, you owe me a dollar. VonSis totally started crying when she figured out the surprise party was really for her. Pay up.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

One Week

One week until we leave for Boston. I can't wait!

Awwwtumn

Man. They turned off "my" fountain in Millenium Park. Sigh.. That means it's offically Fall. I used to love love love Fall, until I couldn't get over the fact that it's the precursor to Winter. I hate Winter more than I hate the summer scarf trend. So, they are filming a commercial right outside my building today. They brought these big huge trucks that make snow. Dudes, you could have waited like a week, and you probably would have had the real thing. Sigh.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I like

I like the name of a song I just heard: "Sex on Fire". It's by the Kings of Leon. Song itself? Not so great. More or less meh. But title? Hell yes. A fun little seasonal german lesson for you: Hexa = witch. Ich bin eine Hexa = I am a witch (shut it! I will be a slutty one next weekend in Boston, but today? No witch here.). Du bist eine Hexa = YOU are a witch. Du bist DAS Hexa = You are THE witch. Got it? Now go practice on that bitch, I mean witch, that's been bothering you.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Damn it

I screwed up my 100th post. I was so into posting lame pictures I didn't realize that the big 1-0-0 was fast approaching. That, and Charlie is resting and recovering from a little back incident earlier this week. He's not his usual self, nowhere near up to writing his first post. Stay tuned for that!

Hate her

This is the stupid Tracy girl from the RedEye.

Hate her.

She is totally stupid.

Not even cute.

(clearly, today is my day to just import pictures and write stupid things. Lame. I know.)

Happy Thursday

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Too bad, so sad

I am a Cubs fan. Like, the kind that bleed Cubbie blue. I could care less, generally, about the White Sox. It's their fans that are the problem. I wanted to cheer for them. I really did. When the Cubs season was over the other night, I wanted to look to the White Sox. I am a baseball fan too, and I will watch games until the end of the World Series. The White Sox fans make it impossible for me to care about the team at all. Some asshole wrote a song mocking the Eddie Vedder song written for the Cubs. Seriously? And the Sox started handing out and using stupid white towels for people to wave around when the Sox did good things. NEITHER of these ideas are original. See, asshole, the song Eddie Vedder wrote was an ode to his childhood here. He was asked to write something, and being a thru-and-thru Cubs fan he did. You, asshole, took someone else's melody, someone else's words, and made a joke out of them. You said nothing good about the Sox, you just made fun of the Cubs and their fans. Because of you, I'm glad the Sox are done until spring training. You, 20 year old marketing associate who decided that handing out towels was a good idea - you should be fired. How many other teams use towels at games? And have been for years? OH, yeah, plenty. Because of you, I'm glad the Sox are packing up their lockers. Because of you, Tracy Swartz, who is just an unfunny beatch, and you Richard Roeper, neither of you who EVER had anything good to say about the Cubs, even when they had the best record and were in first place - I'm glad I won't have to hear AC/DC or Journey for at least 5 months. I knew my Cubbies would choke. I am realistic at least. I just don't need to hear it from a bunch of ignorant assholes wearing their black out clothes. A Sox fan admitted last night thatWhite Sox fans were spending more time bashing the Cubs and their fans than enjoying their team that was still in the game. For that reason more than anything else, I'm glad it's over. My prediction to win the World Series? The Rays take it. (Side note: Shannon, Sil1x, and other friends of mine that are Sox fans - you know I am not talking about you. The good natured joking we do is nowhere near the same thing as the nastiness that I am referring too. Plus, you grew up South Side, and I totally get how you would prefer the Sox to the Cubs.)

Sunday, October 5, 2008

From 33 to 13, Step by Step

Sunday afternoon, and I'm Hangin' Tough. Typing today, as talking is not an option. I ripped the hell out of my vocal cords last night. Step One: We can have lots of fun. Our seats. God damn, our seats were great. Especially when all hell broke loose and the guys showed up on a riser about 20 fackin' feet in front of us. Hence, the destroyed voice. I screamed like a little girl with her pigtails on fire. Step Two: There's so much we can do. Like go eat at Chili's before hand. The food was crap, but the people watching was fantastic. Another thing we did - stood in line for about 45 minutes to buy merch. Yep, I am a nnnneeeerrrrd. I bought a big huge program book thang that was overpriced. Didn't buy a t-shirt though, and I kinda wish I had. Step Three: It's just you and me. And her. And a couple thousand of the fattest, nerdiest girls I've ever seen in one place. I may be a fattie too, but at least I am Cool (yes, with a capital C) Step Four: I can give you more. More bathrooms. I didn't see one men's room that didn't have a temporary "women's" sign over it. I only saw about 6 guys in the place anyway. They can hold it. Don't you know the time has arrived. That's right. Or, that's The Right Stuff. Yep, last night was the New Kids on the Block concert. I feel like I have a hangover, yet not a drop of libations passed my lips. I screamed and screamed, and waved my hands in the air, like I just didn't care. I giggled, and hugged chics I didn't know. I shared my internets-acquired set list with anyone that was slightly interested. I swooned with Donny (new favorite. Sorry Chris), Danny, Jordan, Jon and Joey appeared 20 feet in front of me. I blushed when I made eye contact at Jon, and he smiled and waved. I got sad when it was over. I'm deaf - nothing to do with the band, everything to do with the screaming of thousands of women. I threatened - some stupid bitch that thought that bumping into me 10 times while in line for merch would make the line move faster. I danced. I laughed out loud. I sighed. I went back in time. I regret not a moment of it. I make no excuses for going, nor do I apologize for it. If you think I'm a dork now, that's ok, If You Go Away - I'll be Loving You Forever.

Monday, September 29, 2008

It's official

These shots: Apfelkorn, Feigling, and Kalbanis (done in copious amounts) DO give one a Two Day Hangover. I think I might have to puke in my garbage can. I can't believe I came to work like this.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Too much

Oops. I did it again. I'll give the weekend in reveiw. Or at least what I can remember of it. Friday night was good. I worked the DellMark records anniversary show at Old Town. I had decent volunteers, and it wasn't too crowded, so it was an easy show to work. I got to hang out with T and K, two of my favorite Old Town people. I was planning on meeting T after the show at Martyr's, but I wasn't feeling well so I just headed home. Saturday. Ugh. Oktoberfest. My sister and I got to DANK about 4pm. There was a lot of work to be done before the show. Nothing major, just some last minute things. My first official shift was at 6pm. I was on my second beer when my first shift started. I was a front door person. I worked with some nice people. It was pretty slow in the beginning. I was in such a good mood. I love Oktoberfest, it's one of the best times all year. After I was done carding and wrist banding people, I headed up to the party for my unofficial second shift. I was "sticker girl". Something to do with my outgoing personality and my desire to talk to everyone made this the perfect job for me. I just walked around sticking stickers on people. One batch said "Haus your DANK?" the other said "DANK eschoen" Pretty fun stuff. THe fifth floor was pretty crowded and gettin hot, so I headed up to the 6th floor to cool off and have some beer before my 11pm bartendind shift. My parents were on 6, and so was my sister. I was sitting with my parents and their friends and Shannon arrived. This is the point where I stepped up the drinking. Sometime during our bar shift, T from Daily showed up with a couple of friends. We started doing shots. The problem was by the time T got there I had already had more than a few shots. At some point my inner voice told me to stop, that I had had too much to drink and I was already in trouble. I drowned that voice with some more shots. I don't really know why I went to Daily after DANK. I knew I was totally done drinking, I had no reason to go there. I think I was having fun, and wanted to continue having fun. Shannon, Nate (this guy we know. I have no idea how we ended up taking him with us to Daily. Whatever. It's all pretty foggy) and I walked over to Daily. I'm pretty amazed I didn't break a leg or something walking over there. At Daily I only had water. I was so so sick by the time we got there. I remember T smacking me on the ass. I don't know why. I remember Shannon and T dancing. I think. I remember being aware that T was gone. I guess that's his MO. When he's wasted he'll just leave. Doesn't say goodbye to anyone, he just sneaks out. I think this can be a good plan, I might have to do that some time. Shannon and Nate poured me into a cab sometime around 3am. Right now it's about 8:30pm. I just got out of the shower. No need to fill you in on the details about my awful hungover Sunday. Just know that there was puking, gatorade, and pizza. The last was only about an hour ago. Am I going to say I'm never going to drink again? Um, no. I don't lie, and that would be a lie. What I will say is I'm not going to drink like that again. Hopefully ever, but at the least not for a long long time. Sil1x asked me if I had met any cute men. Well - I might have, but I don't know. Like I said, the night is still a lot foggy.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Dear blank......

Dear Tracy Swartz of the Red Eye, I am hugely tired of your Cubs slamming. You are not funny. You are not witty. You are not entertaining. I have no idea why you are on the 5 on 5. Is it because you set the bar so low, you make the other 4 people on the panel seem hilarious and bright? I hope to someday run into you on the street so I can beat some sense in to you. I will first dazzle you with my biting wit, and then probably punch you in the face. I'm guessing you fight like a girl. Dear ABC, Thank you for bringing back Grey's Anatomy. It was fantastic. That was a pretty fast two hours. A wonderful distraction. This season looks very promising. And OMG, you've hired my super-hottie from "Rome" to be the new hot doctor. Yummy. This weekend has promise. Lots of it. It's Oktoberfest. ANYTHING can happen. Free Will Astrology says so.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Love the Free Will Astrology

I sullenly looked up my Free Will Astrology this morning. I was expecting not much. Here's what I got instead: What reasons might you have to celebrate your own private holy day? Why might you want to go off by yourself or in the company of special people and conduct a reverent ritual that reinvigorates your knack for having fun? Here are some possible answers: 1. You're overdue for a break from everything you usually do. (ain't that the truth) 2. You're hungry for the magic that happens when you tak refuge in the sacred. 3. It's time to stop the world and jump off long enough to break the trance you're in. (truer words were never written). 4. You would generate uncanny blessings by paying tender attention to your origins, returning to your sources, and examining the foundations of your life (translation: you will get some from some german dude you meet while working Oktoberfest this weekend) To all of that, I say A-freakin'-men.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Ding ding ding!

Question: Who's sitting at her desk right now, shoveling a tasty concoction of lite microwave popcorn, candy corn, and m&ms in her mouth??? ME! Next (obvious)Question: Who has PMS in a big way but didn't realize it until she looked down at the plate of sweet/salty that she called "lunch"? You got it - the answer is ME! (again)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Urban Golf ROCKS

So, instead of sleeping, I'm blogging. I've had a huge problem lately with being able to fall asleep. Part of that is good, I've got some extra time that is sorely needed. Part of it is bad, because I am tired. All. The. Time. Anywho. Urban Golf was a fantastic good time. It was way more fun than I even anticipated. Our team name was We Sniff Glue. WSG consisted of Shannon, TheMarty, Tucker and myself. WE were totally awesome. Sure, we didn't have a pirate on our team, but we were highly motivated AND we had the organizer on our team. We were the last to head out on the course, so I feel we missed all of the best garbage picking opportunities. Blue Island is a lot prettier than I expected. Lot of freakin' hills though. My favorite hole was the one where we had to play up hill. Like really up hill. It was fun. That might have been the hole in which I putted my ball right into the back of Shannon's head. My bad, but I totally got extra points for that. I really loved the "watering hole" which was some creepy scary Eagles club. A) They have bowling and pull tabs. B) The bartenders had mullets - and they were women (I think). It was while at the watering hole that we learned that the Cubs clinched. Well OF COURSE they did. -why?- because I was on the freakin' South Side, SuxNation. I am never on the South Side. Sigh. Sadly I did not make out with anyone this weekend. The only men I met were way too young for me. One was 12 years younger, the other about 10 years younger. Sigh. They are both awesome though, and I would love to hang out with them as friends.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Sometimes I'm just a girl

I'm more than a little annoyed with myself. This whole third date debacle has got me acting like a girl. A high school aged girl. Bleh. So, as mentioned before, the third date was weird, kinda a bust. I was all perplexed yesterday. So What did I do? Von? Master of her Universe? Queen of her Awesome world? Yeah, I texted him. Damn me. I texted 'hi', which began an almost normal exchange. No terms of endearment (which is S's normal m.o.) but a little bit better than Wednesday's weird texts. So today, I'm back to meh. And kicking my own ass for being such a girl. I'm so glad I have good plans with awesome people this weekend, and have no intention of seeing S. Here's to the new me, same as the old me.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Jingle Jangle

Ever have something stuck in your head that isn't a song (per se)? I've got some really old jingle in my head. I don't even remember what beer it's for. It goes like this: "If you've got the time, we've got the beer" It's cute, and short, and it's not really bothering me, yet. I can see if I still have this jingle in my head in three hours how I might find it annoying, but right now, it's entertaining. I am curious what beer it's for. I am having a shit week. I'm having a rough week at work. My third date with S was kind of a bust, and now he's being weird. Yesterday I was perplexed/upset, today it's a 'meh'. I'm leaving it up to him. If he texts, great, but no breath-holding here. My friends are right, at least I'm back in the game. I fully intend to put myself in situations in which I can make out with some guys. Like, maybe this Saturday at Urban Golf? Per chance it could happen. I'm extremely sleep deprived. For the most part, I do love to sleep. This week, it's just not happening. Tuesday night (third date night) ended after midnight, and I was wide awake - perplexed - at 5am. Wednesday night I was exhausted, but going out for a Spaten and some carbs w/ Poptart was the better idea than going home. I headed home at 11, and was so beyond tired. Maybe it's the lack of sleep that I have really old jingles dancing through my brain. If anyone knows what beer it's for, please let me know.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Return

I just got back from a lovely weekend in Galena with Shannon. I'm using this space to apologize to her (again) for my snoring. Thankfully she's nice enough to not throw things at me when I snore. Anyway. Friday we headed out of town for our weekend jaunt to Galena. For those of you who don't know, Galena is about three hours northish/westish of Chicago. It's very near the Mississippi, and Dubuque, Iowa. I had won a nice bundle of "Galena dollars", so we went to spend it. We stopped for lunch at a nice antique store/bar & grill. The food was meh, but Shannon found some really nice stuff in the store. The weather was less than great Friday, but it wasn't horrible. We checked in to the DeSoto House, which happens to be the oldest hotel in Illinois. Clearly, they haven't used air fresheners, but it was a really nice hotel. This chick at the front desk had us cracking up. She was incessantly on personal phone calls the entire weekend, every time we walked by her. Shannon, who looks for the good in all people (or something) said "Yeah, but she's got that dark hair underneath thing, which is cool." I agreed - she did have cool hair. But I still wanted to make fun of her. My parents were adamant that Shannon and I go check out this Breitbach's place for dinner. 'It's a lovely drive.' they said. 'You'll love it.' they said. 'It's easy to find' they opined. I don't think they meant we should drive to this place, which had no address, in the middle of a drizzly, foggy, dark night. But, Shannon and I are always up for an adventure, so we headed out to find this place. It was terrifying. It was so completely out of a horror movie I'm surprised the car didn't spontaneously start playing some creepy soundtrack. At one point we went over this hill, and it was so foggy that Shannon actually stopped the car because we weren't sure there was a road. Seriously. Finally found the place, in Balltown Iowa. Balltown. Really - I don't even need to say anything about that. The food was good. The pie was orgasmic. After we were fuller than full, we headed back to Galena. Same weather, same everything. We had been on the road about 90 seconds and Shannon said "Humor me. Text someone the following - We are heading back to Galena from Balltown Iowa. If you don't hear from us within two hours, please call the police." OF course, I texted these exact words to TheMarty. He took it all in stride, he's good like that. I'd like to relate more of the weekend to you, except whatever happens in Galena stays in Galena. As it was described this weekend, it truly is a den of inequity. I will say that we drank some wine. More than a little. I knew, though, it was time to head home when we had this exchange: Von: "Run that girl over with the car. She's wearing crocs." Shannon: "Who? Her? She's a little girl!" VOn: "Yep" Shannon: "And, YOU'RE wearing crocs." VOn: "Oh, yeah." All in all, a good trip. We did have a ghost in our room, named Henry Wilson. Look him up, he's a fascinating individual. All in all, a good trip.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Blogcation

Taking a week off. See you on the flip side.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Fackin' Oprah

I could hardly get into my building today. See, some lady named Oprah is taping some show across the street from my office in the park. And I guess she's having a bunch of olympians there. It's a mob full-o-soccer moms. Double bleh. I won't be leaving the building today. If I do, I'll probably trip someone. The ole Pritzger pavillion is having a busy day. This morning Oprah, tonight Andrew Bird. Remind me to be far far away from there.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Good

I know, I know, I'm a little late. I didn't feel like Laboring on Labor Day, so here's my weekend in review. Friday night I worked a show at Old Town. I hadn't been there in over a month, so it was nice to be back. I ended up with a lame job, I had to sit in the basement and guard the changing rooms. I alternated with another person, we sat down there in one hour shifts. The other volunteers were getting on my nerves that night though. I didn't recognize a lot of them. I just about had it with my job-mate who was treating me like I was new. I just drank my beers and did some crocheting. I got to catch up with my friend T. It was fun. Saturday I headed South Side with J&T. It was T's birthday. I didn't know anyone at the party, and it was fackin' hot, but I had a great time. The people were entertaining. Too many kids though. Bleh. Afterwards we went to T's parents' house. The stories T and her friend and sister were telling had me cracking up. I was pretty tired though, from the drinking and the heat. I love hanging out with J & T though, they are so awesome. Sunday I got together with Shannon and A. We met up at a Cuban restaurant. It was really good. We then hit a few bars. We went the dive bar route. We had a great time. A is one of those people that I need to hang out with more. I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing her in about 3 weeks, and that will be good. Anyway, we crossed paths with some interesting guys that night. First there was the self-proclaimed "beer snob" dude with the ugly shirt who was trying to keep up conversation with A. Um, yeah, not so much. She said her favorite beer is Boddington's, a solid choice. He dared to infer it was a sub-par beer. Yeah, between myself, Shannon and A, I think we knew a lot more about beer than he ever will. I'm sure he was looking to hit on A, but she was having none of it! We also met some lame band. I'm pretty sure no one had shown up for their show. The one dude wore eyeliner, had horribly dyed 1990's spiky (yet thinning) blonde hair. I think the band name was Saints of Mayhem or something equally horrible. We ended that conversation as quickly as we could. Monday I had a date. It was great. Really great. I don't need to say anymore about this at this time. Let's just say I've had a nice smile on my face since.

Friday, August 29, 2008